Relationship Advice Concerning Division of Financial Obligations Between Couples?

Question

My husband and I are bill free but have reoccuring expenses such as groceries, auto insurances, phone bill, etc. He believes we should split all of these bills 50-50 as well as entertainment costs (i.e., if he buys dinner for our family one night then I should buy it the next time). This sounds reasonable I guess, but the reason I am confused is because he earns roughly 70,000 Euro per year, and I earn roughly 30,000 dollars. Is it fair that we should split everything 50-50 even though he earns more than me, or am I right to feel slighted?

Answer 1

I agree with your first responder. You don't have a marriage. You have a business merger, and that's really sad.

His 70,000 euros equals $94,458.01 USD which means he earns 3 times as much as you do. To be FAIR using his "method", then, in my opinion would be for him to pay for 3 meals out of every 4 meals out.

In reality, your best bet would be to put half your salary in a solo account in your name only, and half of his salary in an account in his name only. The other half of the salaries should go into a joint account and joint bills, including going out, should be paid from THAT bank account. This gives each of you money of your own for things you consider special and your spouse doesn't agree on.

You could ask him if he's planning on getting divorced, because that's that his attitude towards you and paying bills 50-50 sounds like. It really does! Of course, maybe he's just a high controller and a macho male egotist. I have no way of knowing. I just know I would not put up with his attitude as it tells me he has NOT got a commitment to you and the marriage. I'd feel worse than slighted. His split means that he'll have $64,458.01 left over when you have gone through ALL your income. That sounds pretty shabby to me.

If you're living in the U.S. you have a legal right to half of that $64,458.01 as joint property because in a marriage, what each of you brings in is half yours and half his. So you should have half of his, and he should have half of yours.

Answer 2

The very few marriages that have done this 50-50 split, ended in divorce.

Why not put the monthly expenses on a paper, and put them in a hat and take turns drawing them out of the hat each month?
Why not make the "family" pay once in while during the entertainment dinners?
To get your finanaces on a more even keel, why not also try this: Decide on a given amount each week the 2 of you get for yourselves as an allowance..........then do the slit the billls thing, and then agee to put ALL the rest of his and yours into an account that you both share?

Answer 3

This question could easily be debated on both sides. You eat, and drive and use the phone equally like him, so that could be argued that you both should split them. You may think it's not fair that it takes a larger percentage of your salary than his, but is it fair to him that you make less than him and can afford less?

I found a method that works, at least for me. Prorate the expenses based on income.

Another option is that you split the everyday expenses and let him pick up the entertaiment costs, since he can afford it more. Otherwise you can say that you can't afford to go out as much if you are expected to share those costs equally.

Answer 4

No, no, no! You should feel slighted, and it is not reasonable. You do not make equal money to him, and therefore should not have to split 50-50. Whatever the percentage of the total income you contribute is what you should be responsible for. That is the fair way to divide it up because he is able to afford more than you can. He might have extra funds to upgrade this or that, and that is not fair to you. Don't settle for less girlfriend!!!

Answer 5

normally in marriages people share expenses, but don't keep track of it 50/50. I have always just given money to my significant other to pay bills and he chips in just the same...i have never been so strict about it though. I don't know what you would do with his extra money, but maybe suggest makeing a savings account that he can put a little away every paycheck or something

Answer 6

Here is my answer and I am not sure your husband will like my answer. I am a Californian and I do not work at all. So he has to pay for everything in this home for me. We use his money to feed 5 of us. I urge you to combine your guys' income 70,000 EU plus 30,000 E.U. then split half for extra. If he does not want to pay more Then you buy cheap products and lousy food then he gets a picture. It is not fair in my opinion for your case. I do earn more then $ 100.000 a year from taking care my family according to my lawyer. Well, how long you are marry, for myself this is my 25 th years, so learn how to bargain and compromise and you will do well. Good luck.

Answer 7

Good question. What you need to understand first is that a marriage in todays society mostly signifies a financial contract between two people. Its not about how much he makes, then how much you make. Its about how much both of you make. You make 100,000 euros ok. Dont seperate that into two numbers no longer. You are one entity now, financialy and socially. Next you need to stop with the you pay this time, I pay this time, because all in all its going to come out of the 100,000 euros at the end of the day. Just freaking get a bank account get two debit cards and just pay. It doesnt matter which one of you pays its still going to be reduced from the total. Do you get what I am saying. One entity, one bank account of 100,000. Good luck.

Answer 8

Why can't you just both put your money together and make it "ours".
Pay all the monthly bills, and what's left over is for whatever you both want to do or buy.
Why does it have to be "her" money, "his" money.
I thought when you married you agreed to "share" a life together.
How do you consider this "sharing".
Any couple that I know of, that has done things this way, it has never worked out.
Why marry if you don't want to "share" a life together.
You should have just stayed single and lived together, then what's his would be his, and what's yours would be yours.
This is no marriage, that you have.
It sounds like you are making a business arrangement.
Marriage is more than that, atleast it "should" be :{

Answer 9

Everyone handles their money in a different matter, to me what the two of you do sounds weird, we had a joint account of everything and knew where the money was going. It didn't matter who made more or less.

Answer 10

In my opinion, finances are a family kind of thing. They should be joint and it shouldn't be "his money" and "her money" types of stuff.

At the very least, each of you should put 1/2 of your income into a joint account for joint expenses, and they should be paid out of that.

Any guy who treats you like that is really lame.