i need help....?

Question

ok let me start from the begining..
i'm 14 almost 15 yrs old.
my mom and dad are divorced
my mom left my family when i was 12.
my dad just passed away may 3rd 2007
i moved in with my best friend around the corner..
i was living with her for 3 months then my bro & sis got DUI's at age 16 and 17 and had to move to arkansas with my grandma.
i decided to move out here because i thought my bro and sis and i could all stick together and be family..
we never got along when we lived together. they always ganged up on me.
ive been in arkansas not even a week and i can NOT live with my bro and sis...
it looks like it never will ever work out..
arkansas would be totally perfect for me if my brother and sister werent here..
i could finish high school and maybe even finish it early,and move to california and be happy again.

if you have any self esteem they will knock you down so you have none...

they treat you like ****...


so if you can give me advise that would be great..

Answer 1

Hopefully what I have to say will help you. Not the same circumstance as you have but mine was do or dy. Literally. I had to survive and in that situation I was in I knew I wouldn't. I left at the age of 13. Found a job and took care of myself. You have to have determination and you have to make the very best of what is. Even when things are rough. You come out the better for it. Believe me you will see that there are those that care and will help you. As long as you want to help yourself. Good luck.

Answer 2

What are your alternatives now?

Is there any way to go back to your best friend's house, or to an uncle or aunt? Or have you given the current arrangement enough time (you say you've been there less than a week - but having a new person in the household is more stressful than you might think.)

You are old enough not to depend on your siblings for approval in order to feel good about yourself. And if they both have DUI's, they are in no position to point the finger.

I am assuming that no one is giving you physical abuse. Maybe you should give yourself a deadline for a fair test of your current arrangement ... six months maybe.

But in case you need to leave, get yourself some contingency plans. Before you try and get into the state system (a drastic measure I do NOT suggest - maybe the book "White Oleander" was just too harrowing for me) try laying low. Your siblings lost a father, too.

When we're really unhappy we tend to make bad decisions. Think on this.

I'm sorry you lost your father. Mine died two years ago and even though I'm 53 not a day goes by that I don't remember him with love. Maybe you should put this whole issue on the back burner for the moment.

Love
Puff

Answer 3

First off let me tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your Dad. I know how tough that is, because I loss my Dad when I was 18, and my brother was only 12. But you do find a way to get through the though times somehow. As far as you are concerned it is really very sad that you can't get along with you brother and sister. At your present ages this is normally when you begin to really bond with each other, and learn to stick together come h--l or high water. What seems to be the big obstacle between the three of you? It can't be your ages, your not that far from each other. But if you can't get along with each other maybe when the three of you get older things will change. I hope so because it is important to have someone you love, and someone to love you back. Family is so important. Ok for now that isn't the way it is, and you can't mend the fence by yourself. Did your Dad have any Brothers or Sisters that you were close to? If so, get in touch with the ones that liked you the most and see if you can stay with them until you finish school. If that doesn't work out, go to your minister, pastor or priest and see if they may know of a nice family that would be willing to take you in until you finish school. Since you are nearly fifteen, you might go to you school counscilor and see if he might be aware of a good family that might take you in. Your counsilor should be anxious to help, because you want to finish school. Your too young to be out on your own, because of finances, and a place to stay with food to survive and exist. You are very brave to undertake such a challenge at you age, there are a lot of obstacles that you will be facing, many of which will not be very easy for you to overcome. No matter where you stay you need to find a part-time job once you turn 15, so you financially can help buy school supplies, lunches, and other necessary exspenses that will come up from time to time. Most large Grocery Stores like hiring young, clean looking and polite young people for bag boys and stockboys. You don't want to be a burden on whoever you stay with. By doing this you will show whoever you stay with that you will be a responsible, and trustworthy person to have around. I really hope I have given you some good guide lines that you can use and be helpful for you to move on in your life. I would not advise you to go to the legal system. They will try and put you in a foster home, and some of them are really not all that great. They will totally attempt to control your life and freedom. There are some foster parents that will treat you just as if you were their own, but not all of them. You don't get the choice of picking who you want to, so be careful, and make the best of a bad situation. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Sometimes you just have to all get older and then you all get along. In the meantime, you just put up with the crap.
You say you are 14, they are 16 and 17. Awfully close in age and lots going on in the family: it's tough to get along even without those factors. BUT in a few years, things even out. First of all, they will have relationships and move out and have jobs and be more grown up. You'll follow that pattern too. Whether it is college or a job (aim for college - that's always a good goal), there's a whole world that changes the claustrophobic way people relate in a family that's coping together to try to get along.
Just give it a chance. Defend yourself quietly with words. Eventually everyone gets so busy that they are in and out of the house a lot and you're lucky to get a chance to say 'hi!' to them.

Answer 5

Wow, I know that your sister and brother will grow up and feel totally different when they stop acting like the world owes them something.

Find a good church - good talk to the Pastor - I am sure he will know of a home that will take you in, so you can finish school.

I wish I live there - I'd take you in so you could complete school - have a home to come to at the end of the day...

Sometimes you find "family" outside of the house you were born in.

I am sorry for your loss. I will pray that you find a "Family" that will last forever and will love you and take care over you.

What does you grandma feel about the whole thing?

Praying for you....

Pss.121
[1] I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
[2] My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
[3] He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
[4] Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
[5] The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.
[6] The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
[7] The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
[8] The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

Answer 6

Hey you know what God is going to open so many doors for you because you wanted your family together. God Bless you girl know that I will be praying for you...See if you can find any other family to help you. You know maybe a female councilor or teacher that you can trust. Explain to them that you want to finish high school and go on to college. Look into the Y.W.C.A. in your area. See if there is a elderly women living by her self that maybe you could be a live in Helper to her. Girl I want you to make it...Don't give up. Where there is a will there is a way. Go get it, By the way you wrote it sounds like you are tough. Please don't give up, I have faith in the LORD and He in you...Blessings for ever.

Answer 7

I don't know if you believe in GOD or a higher power but praying to mine is what got me out a drug and alcohol addiction. You seem smart brave and stronger than hell. When you feel confused, such as now, ask GOD to enlighten you with the right answer of what to do. You need to finish high school so what ever it takes keep going...at the very least it may distract you from your problems. I am sorry for the loss of your dad...just remember...if he was a good man, he is now with GOD looking down at you and ready to help you thru all of your difficult moments.

Take care...don't get involved with drugs no matter how bad life seems...get thru high school and pray.

Answer 8

Praying is good for the soul, but it won't stop punches raining down on your head and it certainly won't finish your education for you. The church may be able to help with other accommodation or help you in finding a foster family to help you. Local government may have some kind of youth help service but don't hold you breath on that one. The local YMCA may also be a source of help or information. As a last resort, you may be able to move in with the family of a friend. My parents took in a mate of mine when he was having serious violence issues with his father when we were 13 or 14.
Good luck Kid.

Answer 9

I wish you the best. My advice to you is to not listen to the negative comments that they dish out and just think and concentrate on what you want. I think it will come a time where they realize what they as re doing and if not then you have to be Strong for yourself. Pray about it and a way will b made for you. good luck and god bless

Answer 10

My heart just goes out to people like you who face so much at so early stage of life.
Well you are brave, intellectual kid.
See if you can trace some uncle aunt or cousins who can help you out and guide you.
As day passby you are becoming more and more strong, and i m sure you will find some way.

Don't ever leave studies.