My spouse had heart problems about 6 months ago which was really unusual because she is only 23. Months went by and no doctor could figure out any other means execpt a surgery to fix it. It didn't work and cost lots of money, 2 month after the surgery she told her friend that she had an eating disorder, bulimia. This was the true cause of her heart condition and she didn't want to face me or her family with this huge lie of hers and moved into her friends house and took all of her stuff. Me and her family included wanted her to simply get help though she decided to alienate us for the past 3 months. She hasn't given us much reason for this except that we are a huge stress in her life and cause her to stress eat. Not life, job, or her personal image, it was us who caused her stress that she needed to alienate. I've been limitlessly trying to contact her to give support but she is dropping her marriage of 4 1/2 years and saying she doesn't feel, and she might be lesbian. What should i do
2007-08-18 08:40:19 · 11 answers · asked by jus10 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Sorry dude. My wife switched teams after 10 years of marriage and two kids.
The only advice I can give you is to get a good lawyer to protect you assets. Face it, your marriage is over.
Best wishes, what you're going to go through really sucks.
2007-08-18 08:46:36 · answer #1 · answered by Dr Jello 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you really love her, give her time and if she does finally say she is a lesbian, support her and still be her friend. She may have struggled with her feelings all her life and many, many people commit suicide because they are so stressed by all the feelings. She probably does or did love you, just not in the way you thought or wanted, and she probably wanted to make it work, but maybe now she knows she just does not have sexual feelings towards men. I wouldn't take it personal. Just imagine how terrible your life would be if you had to constantly live a lie, hide your feelings, etc. because you are straight? It's hard so try to be kind to her. Better that she leaves you than to stay with you and live a lie. That would not be good for anyone.
2007-08-18 08:52:58 · answer #2 · answered by Sierra ☼ Sky 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
be acceptive - she's only 23 after all, and probably needs her freedom, and probably found out finally that women attract her more than men. we cannot know what she really thinks, we're not her, but I'd say she already has enough problems, so support her choices, even if it hurts you...you cannot force her to be with you, so if you really like her, then support her, also by leaving her alone obviously she doesn't want contact right now). Maybe write her a letter and tell her what you feel. But keep good distance, I mean let her make the choice when she wants to see you and talk about it, don't force her.
2007-08-18 09:09:23 · answer #3 · answered by 76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether she's living with you or not she needs counseling. Bulimia is nothing to fool around with. So young, and her hear is already suffering.
Right now, she's basically flipping out and trying to gain control over herself and her disease. Her friend may not put as much stress on her as she perceives (may or may not) is happening with you and her family.
You're married. I wouldn't toss that away so quickly. It's easier to cut her off, divorce and move on. I'd try to stay in her life, help her through this.
The woman she's with may/may not be the best thing that ever happened to her. But she alone won't solve or resolve her problems.
She needs help. You also need help to find out how to cope, and help her help herself. Something that may seem like the best way to help her could enable her and cause her to get worse.
God bless!
2007-08-18 09:07:19 · answer #4 · answered by Autumn S 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like your spouse has been having a very difficult time and you sound like a decent guy. From this point i would be trying to make things better for yourself and for her. Let her go. Let her feel what its like to not have you in her life. Ask yourself do you really want to be married to a woman who is repelled by you sexually? She mightn't be a lesbian. Respect her fear. Be kind & loving but be strong. I feel your wife has had some kind of sexual trauma as a child which could be feeding these problems. Counselling is a great idea.Good luck.
2007-08-18 08:54:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is tough. And it's got to be heartbreaking. I suggest you wait a bit to be absolutely sure she's not suffering a nervous breakdown as well. If she isn't,and she is in fact a lesbian, there's not much you can do about it. And I'm sorry about that, because if you love her that has to hurt.
Don't rush into anything yet. Let the dust settle first and then see what is real and what isn't.
2007-08-18 08:55:04 · answer #6 · answered by Clint 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get a good divorce lawyer. It's hopeless and you should cut your losses now while there's still a chance to move on to have some sort of life of your own.
2007-08-18 08:44:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not she's a lesbian, she's a lost cause. Cut your losses and get away from this person. She appears self-destructive, and willing to take those around her along for the big crash.
2007-08-18 08:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by Patrick C 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Write her a letter and tell your that you love her no matter what.
That you want to be supportive of her. Tell if she feels you put too much stress upon her life, then you will step back and let her decide what she wants to do.
Then step back and let her decide. You can not make someone be with you if they do not want to be with you.
2007-08-18 08:47:19 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just be there if she does need you. shes probably going thru alot of inner turmoil and and the last thing she needs right now is feeling she needs to defend herself or is being judged, right now she just needs some space and some time, giving her this is the kindest thing you can do for her right now.
2007-08-18 09:34:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋