Am I overreacting?

Question

My husband said that he has thought about cheating because we haven't had sex in such a long time. I mean, I haven't been in the mood to. I feel like everything on my body is swollen and I just can't wait to have this baby. He also informed me that he had been slightly flirting (playful/joking sexual innuendos) with other women and they are women that we both know and interact with. I broke down in tears because I already feel undesirable and that added insult to injury. I am also embarrassed to look those women in their faces because of what they think I don't know. Am I overreacting by being pissed and hurt by him? I mean, I really haven't felt like having sex or even being intimate. I'm about to deliver soon so my stomach feels like it is going to explode. Am I wrong?

Answer 1

You are not wrong. Poor dear, I always hated that part of the pregnancy myself. I wished with all my heart that my ex was a man who thought that pregnancy was sexy as hell, but I didn't get that lucky either. Tell your husband that it would be nice if he stuck by you and that if he has urges that you cannot fulfill, then maybe he could take care of his needs in the other room. You might not be in the mood for sex, but maybe you could help him out in other ways?

Answer 2

I don't think that is overreacting. The things that he has said are very rude and inconsiderate and something that you should never say to someone that you claim to love.

Also, although I have never been through it, I have had a lot of friends who have been pregnant, and from what I understand, sometimes it is very uncomfortable. If you don't feel like doing it -- or flat out feel that you can't, then he needs to accept that, because you are carrying his baby and sometimes that take precedent over other things for a while.

By the way, he should also be aware that you really shouldn't be having sex for several weeks after you have the baby either. Your body needs to recover from the trauma that it has been put through -- especially if there was any tearing and/or surgery.

Tell him he needs to buck up and grow up!!! If he can't be respectful of the mother of his child -- this woman who is in the process of bringing a miracle into this world -- well, I don't even know what to say now -- that just makes me so mad!!!

I am sorry that you have to go through this, but hopefully he will stop talking like that and love you like he should -- no matter what -- love is about a lot more than sex, and if he thinks any differently, he needs to learn a thing or two!

Answer 3

I'm prolly not the best person to answer this, but I'm a husband and a father of a beautiful 2 year old.

during the pregnancy of my wife i did the exact same thing to her, i know i hurt her, i know i made her feel unwanted and unattractive, and all the while she was and still is the most beautiful woman in the world to me.

yeah i told her i was flirting, but what she did find out at the time is that i went beyond the flirting, i ended up in an affair that i found i was in love with another besides my wife.

and seeing ur post makes me realize what an a@@@@ i really am.

So if I were you, I would leave, if he can't look past his own selfishness maybe he really isn't worth the time of day.

you will find someone that will adore you and love you and care deeply for you, no matter your circumstances.

Answer 4

OK, Sis!!

Definitely U s/b upset, hormones running wild and a baby on the way! However, take into consideration that Ur husband told U and didn't act on it!! Now U have a little secret about the women, they might not know U have on them, thinking that they are possibly getting one over....LOL!! @ them!!
Take it in stride and know U can trust him enough, to the fact he told U!
The sex thing....don't worry, it will eventually come back, maybe U all can find some games to play to bide Ur time for now, not to over exerting for U, U kno....
Don't worry, Be Happy!!
What will happen, will happen and U know for sure U will be having a baby! Everything else is icing on the cake, so to say!!
Hope this helps a bit or much!!
Good Luck and God Bless!!
:)

Answer 5

You are not over-reacting by feeling anger and hurt. That is normal; no one wants to hear that someone is having emotional/sexual feelings for someone else. But.....I want you to thank your luck stars that he is turning to you with the truth of how he is feeling. He is turning to you instead of reacting on those feelings. Now is the time for you to tell him that you do understand why he is having these thoughts and such; that you know it is hard for him to go without sex and such while you are pregnant; as it is you also. You tell him to please be patient, as you love and adore him and want your relationship to last; that you will once again be the passionate, loving woman he knows. Also, there is always masturbation for him or, you could please him in other ways. He needs to have absolutely no contact at all with this other woman; none, zero, nada. No calls, no texting, no seeing or talking to her. He is vulnerable right now and it is at these times that many men go that extra step and start an affair. Talk with him, don't be angry - he is being honest with you and looking to you for guidance and help.

Answer 6

What an insensitive jerk he is for saying this to you. It's normal for you not to want to be intimate right now. And it sounds like he's trying to make you jealous by saying he's thought about cheating, thinking it will get you to change your mind about wanting to be intimate. Tell him he needs to realize that you are a person with your own needs too and it's not just to service him. He needs to be patient and wait for the baby. He needs to stop being insensitive and grow up. He needs to be patient. It's not like you got pregnant all by yourself. He also put you in this position which is why you are feeling the way you do. Don't let him get to you. You won't feel this way forever and let him know that.

Answer 7

'It is embarrassing to have you're husband admitted Ive been flirting with this or that girl.Don't be embarrassed by you're body god gave women the gift of having children look at you're body and go wow I'm going to give birth to a baby.Some men find pregnant women very attractive ask you're husband if he finds you attractive. as look at what he is saying and wonder if it is just a threat to get you to have sex with him. I know my husband was all over me pregnant because i was the most beautiful women he had every seen.goofing around with other women is a common thing so don't take it to heart unless he goes to far with it.there are other ways to make him feel you love him besides sex if you don't want ot give it. hold him and cuddle. and you know the other things im sure,And as for those women just look at them and tell them youknow you may flirt with my husband but he loves me enought ot come home to me. think on that next time youre flirting with him that he has a pregnant wife at home and you are playing with fire.they need to know youknow and maybe they will back off. of not then tell himyou dont want to hear his stupid sorid tells. good luck

Answer 8

He is being an asshole. How nasty to be that mean to the woman carrying your child! He needs an asskicking. Tell him to leave and not come back. Sue for child support and get on with your life. HE will cause you greif forever if he can not take care of you at this time in your life he is a loser! And what about when the baby gets here?!?!?!?! I would rather be alone than be ABUSED by someone like this!

Answer 9

It is quite normal for a man to at least have these thoughts under normal circumstances let alone while their wife is pregnant and they are going without sex. Not that I blame you at all because I'm sure you feel less than in the mood or sexy right now yourself.

I would say the fact that he could even tell you is a testament to how he feels for you....most men wouldn't and the fact that he didn't act on it is a good sign. I'm sure the other women understand and there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Good luck it sounds like you may actually have a good man there.

Answer 10

What a jerk you have for a husband. You should be angry for as long as you choose to be angry and he should do EVERYTHING within his power to get back in your good graces. I am sure the women he flirted with just think he's an idiot, so don't worry about it. If I were you though, I would demand couples counseling so he can get his moronic, self-indulgent attitude under control. It sounds like he only cares for himself.