this, someday, would be my dream. I hate depending on other people. It makes me look weak. that's the best way i can put it. I mean, i'm 20 yrs. old, i've got to start taking care of myself. I want to think less of what my friends want me to do and focus on what I want to do. what i want. not my friends. I still find myself "clinging" to my friends though and believing in what they believe instead of going with my own nature. how do i stop this s**t and just be independent? when i become a follower, I tend to feel like a piece of dirt, just going along for the ride. and the the most important thing is I'm not enjoying myself. i hate these feelings.
2007-08-18 07:34:50 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
you can never exist without depending on others...it's called interdependence...at 20 it isn't bad to be a follower but choose the things that you'll follow...and I must remind you that you always have a choice whether you want to follow or not and what or where will you follow, so you hold your own happiness and independence because in choosing on your own you are practicing your independence
2007-08-18 07:48:04 · answer #1 · answered by mirian77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, I'm starting to think rude unfeeling b*tch might be me!! She is absolutely right (again!)
At the same time, I gotta say you are ALREADY taking the first steps to independence by feeling the way you do, identifying how you feel & why, and recognizing that you are still clinging to the herd mentality.
You are clinging because you are only 20.
That is very, very young (believe it or not !) ; )
and we ALL still have very close ties emotionally to our friends, at that age.
You are further ahead of the game than you think, sweetheart.
But now is the time to start verbalizing your own feelings and thoughts.
Time for you to start influencing them, instead of the other way around.
It's OK to say "Nah, I think I'd rather *blank* but you guys go ahead...I'll catch ya later!" If there's a friend you are tighter with than the rest of the group, ask him or her if they wanna come along with you -- if you want company, that is -- but if not, strike out on your own.
Sounds like you are outgrowing your friends....that's OK too.
They will either catch up or eat your dust...
Carry on, Sugar -- Carry On!
2007-08-18 14:55:59 · answer #2 · answered by swanngranny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are off to a good start just by identifying you have a problem and are not happy. However, just start telling people no. Your naturally going to look for others for support, but at the end of the day if you are unhappy then it is all for not.
2007-08-18 14:41:34 · answer #3 · answered by bucaneers8 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nerd
2007-08-18 14:38:45 · answer #4 · answered by Regina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to figure out who you are. Are you in college? If you are you're on the right path. There is not substitute for education and hard work. Just give it time.
2007-08-18 14:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say move away. If you go and live on your own and somewhere distant from your family and friends then your going to have to do things by yourself.
2007-08-18 14:58:04 · answer #6 · answered by LADIDAH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it feels bad, don't do it. It is really as simple as that, though it is not as simple to do in practice.
2007-08-18 14:40:55 · answer #7 · answered by fangtaiyang 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move far away from the familiar.
2007-08-18 14:40:30 · answer #8 · answered by Melodramatic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you know whats going on, whats wrong about it and how to fix it
go for it.
2007-08-18 14:41:16 · answer #9 · answered by perfectlyblatant09 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
only time and wisdom grants independance.
2007-08-18 14:38:29 · answer #10 · answered by Eryc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋