What do you do when someone who has done nothing but emotionally victimized you in the past...?

Question

keeps trying to do the same thing now? I try to avoid this person, but it just seems like it's always to no avail. Somehow or another this person got my cell number and I don't know what to do.

I just want him to leave me alone. What can I do?

I called my therapist and she's not answering, so I decided to post on here. serious answers only, please.

Answer 1

Don't answer his calls. Just ignore him. There will be what is called an "extinction burst" where he will call more frequently, for a period of time. If you can ignore him throughout this (meaning NEVER PICK UP YOUR PHONE - not even once) then he'll eventually stop.

Answer 2

Been there, done that. Try being in a nearly 15 year on-again-off-again relationship where you've given everything and the other person gives only what he needs to way too late for it to do any good.

You get to a point where you have to be stronger than the problem. Ignoring is good, but when that person ends up still finding a way to reach you (like your unlisted cell), you have to consider who else out there is supporting you in your choice to stay away. Honey - SOMEONE out there gave him your number - so make sure that everyone you both could possibly be connected through is aware that you want nothing to do with this person so that it can't happen again. Then CHANGE YOUR NUMBER.

As for what to do from here, it's very important to have a strong support system around you. Keep ignoring and cut off any possible ties. Report the caller to your local authorities or his own phone carrier. If the person doesn't get the message, then a restraining order is a possibility - but only if they have threatened you in some way (it requires physical threats or clear and convincing evidence of ongoing harassment).

Perhaps they haven't gotten the message because you haven't been clear and convincing enough yourself? As for the emotional trauma that remains, that's something that you just have to put away. Talking with a friend can help to alleviate the pain.

Good luck - and if you want to talk to ME, then email ;-)

(For those who wonder, it's OFF again, and has been for almost a year now - but try telling HIM that.)

Answer 3

If this person is stalking you, you really need to go to the police. Therapist or no therapist, this is could be a criminal issue. Sometimes just going to the police and getting a restraining order stops the harrassment.

Regarding your cell phone, if you recognize the number than continue to ignore the phone calls. You could always change the phone number but I realize that this can be almost impossible if it's a business cell phone. It's also a pain if you have to call trillions of people to let them know your new number. But if that's what it will take, then you gotta do whatcha gotta do. You could also just only answer your cell phone when you know for sure who the caller is. Do that for awhile and hopefully, the person will just stop calling

Good luck!

Answer 4

I think most cell phones have the ability to block a caller, but I don't know how it works, or even if it works.
Don't answer the phone, no matter how tempted you are to push the button and scream at him.
If you really must answer the phone, then get a whistle and before you even say hello blow the whistle into the mouthpiece (after checking caller id). If he calls from different numbers, then say hello, but keep the whistle handy. Once or twice should convince him to leave alone, or, he wouldn't be able to hear.
Good luck!

Answer 5

Move or call the police or change the phone number again or get another boyfriend to protect you.

Answer 6

You have to stop yourself from being victimized. Someone knows how to push your buttons and apparently does it often. You m,ust find a way to cover those buttons and ignore this person.

Answer 7

rude unfeeling b*tch is right.
NEVER pick it up and he will give up when he gets no reinforcement.
turn off the ringer and don't sit there looking at the phone.
he cant affect you unless you let him, so turn off the ringer or better yet, block his number.

Answer 8

Restraining order comes to my mind.