my parents are overprotective?

Question

i wanted to go this picnic with my friends.
there would be swimming in the river,hotdogs,hamburgers.the works[:
but my mom wont let me because she doesnt know where it will be.and who will be there.
i told her i would get exact directions.
i told her who would be there.
i mean there will be some 19-20 years olds there.but they are good friends of mine [im 15]
my best friend will be there,her boyfrined,my boyfriend,and just a ton of my friends. my mom said she doesnt know them. i said you cant know everysingle one of my friends like you could in elementary/middle school. i havent seen my friends in over 2 months.i know schools starting soon. but i miss them
these people that i hang out with [especially my boyfriend]
are so overprotective of me its not even funny. im like the little sister to them. im not even aloud to hang out with my own friends because apparently they are "different then everyone else." or atleast thats what i believe my mom thinks.

the only friends im aloud to hang out with is 3 girls. and they dont even want to do anything with me today.
i cant drive because im stuck at that stupid age of 15.

what can i do to convince my mom?
she said the answers already been no.
and that if i keep talking about it im going to be talking to myself.

but i want her to be able to be cool with me hanging out with my other friends.
these people ARE NOT BAD.
and i have reassured her on that TRILLIONS of times.
ive talked about them to her so she can understand where they come from and who they are.
SHE JUST DOESNT GET IT.
she was aloud to go out and have fun when she was 15.
now im a sheltered little baby.
im so pissed off.

Answer 1

If the people are 19-20 and you are 15 you will not be seeing them when school starts. I would say most of them have graduated. The biggest trouble with being 15 is that you think you are deserving of being treated like a grown up! And you sound so grown up! However, kids that are 5 and 6 years older than you are have different interrests and different values than a 15 year old person. Sometimes this can be dangerous and your mom knows this. They are more apt to drink and drive. They might be more apt to stay out later and be a bit more laid back with rules and stuff that your mom feels is important for you to still follow. I know it feels like you are being treated like a baby, but honey, it is because your mom loves you so much that she wants you to be 15 and not be exposed to things that might be dangerous to you. There is a reason people are not of age until they are 18 and still they can not do somethings until age 21. Young people make different kinds of decisions at different ages and you are not as old as these other kids. It is your mom's job to protect you from things that she is not comfortable with. My daughter is 18 and lives at home. I have told her "NO" several times when there were activities that I felt uncomfortable with. She has learned to come up with scenarios that would make me feel comfortable, and she does just that. If I still do not feel comfortable, she does not go, and she respects me for my decisions. Respecting your mom;s decisions is part of showing her that you are grown up enough to respect rules. The more you respect her, the easier it is for her to let the rope out a bit. Here is one power struggle my daughter and I had. Her best friend lives up a very steep and windy hill. When she got her driver liscense she wanted to go up there. I was not comfortable with her driving up there becuase it was dangerous. So, she asked me what would make me feel more confident that she would be safe. I told her if she practiced it with me in the car 30 times I would feel better. So, guess what we did? We drove up and down the windy hill 30 times. Once I know she was able to do it safely I felt better about her doing that alond. It has been over a year now, but she still calls me at the bottom of the hill and at the top, just so I know she is ok. It might sound stupid, but she gets to go and I feel confident with her safety. If your friends are unknown to your parents, mybe you could host a BB@Q at your house and have them all over so your mom can meet them and maybe she will feel safer when you are around them. Unfortunately at 19 and 20 most people are not in to their parents and do not need parent permission to do stuff, so they might think it is silly to come to a party so they can be around your folks. That is why you need to be around people your own age so that you have the same interrests. Forgo the party and listen to your mom. She just wants you safe and happy and healthy, she is not being "MEAN" in my book, she is being reasonable.

Answer 2

Have you sat down with anyone that is being overprotective of you and had a mature discussion about how you feel? This is a pretty standard, run-of-the-mill answer, but I've heard it works.

If you are the oldest or an only child, your mom would generally be overprotective of you. The oldest child is the first, so parents are often nervous because they need to "do a good job on raising this one" to show everyone they know what they are doing. If you are an only child, you are just that: the only child your parents have. You are all they have, and if something were to happen to you, they would probably never forgive themselves.

I don't think your mom is being unreasonable about this picnic. There is a big age difference between 15 and 19 or 20. Maturity levels are different, and there may be a situation that you won't be able to handle. Please don't think I am just siding with your mom because I am a parent or something: I am far from a parent. I can see it from your view because I was in the same situation 3 years ago. Now that I am going to college, I can see why I wasn't allowed to do certain things or go to certain parties. I just wasn't mature enough.

Try to talk to your parents about your feelings in general about how they treat you. Chances are they will try to see it from your view if you talk to them in an adult, non-confrontational manner. See it from their view, too, and talk about what you can be allowed to do now that you are older.

Answer 3

you need to introduce your mom to the parents of your friends & your friends. try to set up a party or hang out w/ these friends at your own house so your mom can see how it goes. have the parents come in to meet your mom, not just drop off the kids. this is what we do at our house & it works out ok so far.... i think your mom is so far doing the right thing but you have to help too...

Answer 4

GIRL, i'm 21 years old and my parents still treat me the same way...i mean, they do get better little by little when you get older...but let me tell you this now: i know it's frustrating but get used to it because the older you get, the more you'll expcet the freedom and the more they'll restrict you, BE PATIENT because one day...they'll let go - i'm sorry hun i REALLY FEEL YOUR PAIN :(

Answer 5

Understand that it's a very dangerous day and age. Be thankful for your parents, regardless of anything.

Answer 6

Thank... GOD... That YOU.. have such GOOD Parents!

What KIND.... of... " Parents ".... ALLOW..... a 15-year OLD Girls..... TO BE OUT... WITH 19 & 20 Year.... Old SEXUALLY.... ACTIVE.... BOYS? ? ? "Stupid ONES!"

The is... WHY..... Babies.... are having.... BABIES!

YOU... are Only 15? YOU have Your WHOLE.... Life ahead of YOU..... !

IF... Your Parents.... Didn't LOVE You.. they would Let YOU Go!

Thank GOD.... for Such... GOOD... PARENTS!

Oh YES.... Please show them.... My Reply! [ if you dare? ]

Thanks, RR