Father-in-law possibly buying house across the street?

Question

my father-in-law and his girlfreind are looking into buying the house that's up for sale right across the street from my husband and I. My husband wants him to buy that house, however I'm not too fond of it. I would feel like I'd be living with them again, and always under sirvalence (in a way), and seeing them all day everyday. My question is this, I cant quite tell them not to buy it, but how can I tell my husband that I'm not too thrilled about it. We live in a brand new devopment, and its not even done being built yet, so why couldnt they buy elsewhere in the neighborhood, just not directly across the street. Any advice? thank you so much for your responses.

Answer 1

Well if you can't be truthful with your husband then who can you be? Just tell him how you feel, and you want a good relationship with your father in-law to continue and you feel it may be jeopardized if he is too close..Tell your hubby to talk to his dad and maybe buy one down the street or over a street, That way you are still close enough to each other for emergencies but not so close as to be annoying to each other..

Answer 2

You need to re-check your attitude. It's only going to bother you to have them across the street if you let it bother you. Re-energize your thinking towards the positive:

I don't know if you have children, but having trustable sitters who can watch for a few minutes here and there is fantastic. Neighbors that would be willing to watch the house when you were gone, get your mail, and water the plants are hard to come by nowadays. And with everything going on in the RE market right now, be thankful that someone is purchasing a home in your new development. Many people are finding lots of empty, abandoned, half-built homes across the street left by bankrupt builders because nobody could get a loan to purchase the home.

Yes, I can see some potential problems. But at least you know you won't have a child-molesting, loud punk rock loving, tacky paint color exterior painting, never-mow-the-lawn extended family with fifteen cars parked on the lawn moving in across the street from you.

You state that it would be like living with them again. That indicates they were there for you when you needed them. Grow up. Besides, as they get older, you and your husband will need to help them with things. Trust me, as I had this, it's easier when they're across the street then when they are on the other side of town.

Look at the bright side and your life will be easier. Put your foot down, your husband will be upset, your inlaws will be upset, and, frankly, in the long run, you'll be upset, too.

Answer 3

Unless you are very close, you will need to establish strict guidelines regarding how, when and where everyone is allowed to visit each other. That means no just stopping by to visit. If either party wants to come over they must call first and see if you are accepting company.

Without a clear understanding of the visiting parameters you may as well move out or tell them not to buy the house. You don't want to end up not speaking to or being able to visit each other,

Answer 4

I feel your pain. Not exactly, but close. We once lived barely a mile from my in-laws. I got along with them, but dreaded un-announced visits.

I would explain to your husband your feelings in almost the same words you used here. Say you would love to have them live close-by, but not that close. You need your privacy, and they need theirs. Tell him that you wouldn't mind having them live in the neighborhood, but across the street would mean that they would have to deal with you on a daily basis as well as the other way around. Should they move in close-by, tell them that you love to see them, but please call before coming by. Who knows, you might be in the middle of something and can't stop for a cup of coffee and a chat. That actually worked with my in-laws.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I can understand why you wouldn't want in-laws moving across the street. Maybe you could show your husband an episode of Everybody loves Raymond?

Answer 6

Yuk!

Sounds like "Everybody loves Raymond", and this isn't a comedy! I would hate to live across the street from my dad OR my DIL!

Why does your husband like the idea? Ask him! IMO, this can kill your marriage!

Work all this out now. Honesty is the best policy in this case.

Answer 7

You can say what you want to your husband, but he may take offense. There's nothing either you or he can do to stop his father from buying the house if he has his mind set on it. You can only change your behavior and reactions, not others. Just be sure your house has a back door.

Answer 8

You can tell them your feelings but they can buy wherever they want, unfortunately for you!


JOY

Answer 9

Time to move out. lol