i know this is not a newborn questions but it effects my newborn.
I was with my ex for four and half years. We now have an 11 week old baby together and he walked out on us a week before she was born to be with another women. I stilll love him very much and want as to be a family. He wants to stay with her and i dont know wat to do.I am currently liveing in brisbane but my family is in syd. I only ever moved to bris to be with him and now am unsure of wether to stay and fight for him or just go home and move on with my life. I know if i leave my daughter wont get to know her dad and if i stay i will be misarable and that to isnt fair. I am so confused and cant decide what to do. I am also not sure if i could handle living back close to my family. Please help i am so confused and sick of feeling so hurt. I am 23 and also go to uni in bris
2007-08-18 01:39:44 · 15 answers · asked by angelicrulz 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
You poor thing! You need to pack up your things with your wee girl and move back to sydney and be with your family. Your ex has given up the right to be a father at this stage and if he wants to see his daughter later he will have to make the effort and come to you. Time heals so much and you will realise later that it would take a nasty man to leave a girlfriend a new baby. You can do so much better than that.
2007-08-18 12:00:09 · answer #1 · answered by kiwichickie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your ex want to be part of your daughter's life?
He dragged you out there then dumped you....how do you know he won't be a deadbeat dad, too?
I'd do one of the following:
1. Go back home to sydney where your family is. An extended family is often even better than a loser dad.
2. Stay in brisbane and make a life for yourself without the ex.
Best advice? Go where your daughter will be loved and cared for the MOST.
2007-08-18 09:22:42 · answer #2 · answered by gg 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are going to school in Brisbane, you probably have friends in Brisbane, your babies father is in Brisbane, and you don't want to live close to your family...stay where you are and make your life work, with or without his help/love.
You cannot make anyone love you, regardless of how much you love him. You do need to fill for child support from him though, if you haven't already. And maybe calmly discuss which days he'd like to see his daughter. (otherwise you'll need to take him to court).
Look into your heart, you know what is best for yourself and your baby.
Best wishes
2007-08-18 09:44:19 · answer #3 · answered by vegface 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey...dont fight for someone who walked out on you when you needed him most...its obvious that if he left you before the baby was born that he wasnt ready for the commitment of a family! whether you stay where you are now or go back home...you can do it! turn your focus to your studies and your daughter...there are bigger and better fish in the sea trust me....i am a mother of three and my 4 month old was conceived by rape and i met a wonderful man in my 6th month of pregnancy who i know i cant live without...someday your prince will find you too...move on, keep your head up, and remember that you and your daughters happiness is all that matters...he will be the one with the regrets and what ifs later in life!
2007-08-18 08:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by honeybunnie1120 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey.... at the age of 23 you can still find a better man and a better father to your daughter... the man that you love doesn't deserve you and your baby... because in the 1st place he knows that you two are having the special gift that God gave to the both of you and why is it that he leaves you... he is just afraid of the consequences of being a father at the early age.... 23 years old is still young to have that kind of responsibility, i know that for sure because i have some friends here with that kind of position that you have too....
you have to move on.... life is round and beautiful to live with... and besides he is not the only man in this world that can accept you of who and what you are.... and also to your baby....
as of now you really need your family to cling with... because the family will always be there in our side no matter what consequences that we had now and before... boyfriends will just pass by in our life if he is not really the one meant for you....
honey, you will know the right man for you and you will feel that kind of love in your heart.... always think to the bright future and think that you and your baby will have a happy future together with or without a father in tyour sides....
"A baby can live without a father, but a baby can not live without a mother...."
Honey, enjoy life first with your choosing career now.... enjoy nurturing your baby... and if that father of your child came and will realize all of his bad doings.... just pray to God and ask for guidance.... you will feel it if it is sincere or not... you will feel it when the right time came... God bless.... and CONGRATS....
2007-08-18 09:10:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear about your tough situation. I cat imaging what it must be like for you. I cant tell you what to do only you can decide. What I will say is that a man who walks out on a pregnant girlfriend isn't a man. If he'll walk out on you and your daughter now he'll do it again after your little one knows and loves him. Id get him completely out of her life before he really hurts her. Good luck and congrats on a wonderful baby girl.
2007-08-18 08:56:37 · answer #6 · answered by lovelylady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would forget him. he walked out on you. He will definitely know that he messed up later. move on with your life and be the best possible mom you can be. Dont look for love... it will find you when you least expect it. Your daugheter needs her mom to be strong for her.. and you being strong will teach her to be strong. Then she is less likely to stay in a bad relationship., when she grows up and you have been there and been strong and stood on your two feet when he left you.
If he would think that little of you and his daughter to leave you when you are pregnant... then he isnt worth the gum on the bottom of your shoe.
I would move back to be close to my family. They will prolly help you out with love and support too.
Good luck!!!! :)
2007-08-18 10:25:49 · answer #7 · answered by DrkBreizzy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes the best decision is the hardest one to make. you need to do what would be best for you and your child. you should never intentionally make yourself miserable, that wouldn't be good for your child. yes in a perfect world a child needs both its parents, but it sounds like your ex wasn't thinking about what would be best for this child when he walked out. i think you need to forget him and move on with your life. move back with family for awhile, let them help with the baby so you can learn the parenting essentials, cuz it doesn't come from a book or naturally. once you get on your feet, then make your way in the world
2007-08-18 09:04:10 · answer #8 · answered by lydia manning 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think you still love him, but things would be different once he came back. You won't trust him, and you will hold the affair against him. He has told you he doesn't want to come back. That should be enough for you. Let him go and move on with your life with your daughter.
2007-08-18 08:47:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any man that would walk out on his pregnant woman to be with another woman is the lowest of the low. You would just be setting yourself up for future disappointment from him. He has shown you what type of person he really is...you cannot depend on him.
Move back home and move on with your life. You and your baby deserve better.
2007-08-18 08:46:54 · answer #10 · answered by wooper 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋