but the bad part is that people said she looks a little like me, though i am a pretty girl, but she was damn ugly. Whenever the thought of her comes in my mind, i just start feeling that i am so ugly, start feeling insecure, But when i look in the mirror it is the opposite cause i see that i am pretty. This has ruined my life, what do i do?
2007-08-17 21:28:52 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
even though guys check me out all the time, but the thought is kind of like a delusion in my mind. How can i get rid of this thought?
2007-08-17 21:30:08 · update #1
you know m not saying ugly just for the sake of it, m not that kind of a person to put people down, there was some prolem with her jaw, really something wrong with her face.
2007-08-17 21:40:52 · update #2
Keep a mirror handy.
2007-08-17 21:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by DrIG 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The whole question is about and caused by looks. Is that really how a person rates themselves? Many people on these topics have the same problems and sometimes aren't much help, but I was just over on psychology and boy did they have it together on the question I was looking at and it applies some here. Some people validate themselves internally and others look outside for acknowledgement or complements. So few people give them that it's not very rewarding, I would mosty get insults. lol When you listen to your intuition it has a much more accurate evaluation because it doesn't judge but uses descriptive words which are more accurate and scientific and less emotional and biased. Your intuition will tell you our nature is love based trying to survive but often floored by fear. Emotions block accuracy and tip the scales of reason and truth. If we stop judging other people we stop judging ourselves at the same time. If we're thankful we don't complain all the time, I find. lol And if we love we are happy all the time and at all we see. If we forgive, hate stops eating us up. Hating a perpetrator is purpertrating hate on ourselves and can kill us. That['s pretty bad. Forgiving has the effect of forgiving our selves for eating ourselves up with hate. It's complicated but actually makes perfect sense. We need to get our thinking straight our intuition is always right in a way, we only have to tell which thoughts are ours and which are the intuition. The one that sound smart are us and they are dumb. The ones that sound dumb at first are the intuition and are smart. Einstein put it this way, "If an idea doesn't sounds wrong at first, there's no hope for it."
2007-08-17 22:37:57 · answer #2 · answered by hb12 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The slightest adjustment of a single feature can make all the difference between plain and pretty. Rest assured that just because you and that other girl share some features in common doesn't mean you are equally pretty.
There are even twins, although they are supposed to be identical, one is markedly prettier than the other...but people would still see they look alike because they share so many features in common.
Sometimes people get the same haircut as their favorite celebrity, or get plastic surgery in order to look like them, but never achieve the same level of prettiness as the celebrity.
Beauty holds a lot of mystery. It's hard to get a firm handle on and that's part of the reason why we're so taken with it! Beauty is also subjective, so I'm sure that somewhere in the world, someone will find that girl beautiful.
P.S. If you wouldn't place so much premium on your physical appearance, your life wouldn't be ruined based on someone's comment about your looks.
2007-08-17 21:39:54 · answer #3 · answered by monkey 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ugly on the inside is worse than ugly on the outside.
In all honesty... don't worry about it.
If you're really that insecure, maybe try for some sort of counseling?
Besides, they just said she looks a little like you, right? They never said that you were ugly. Maybe you have the same eyes, or face shape? Or maybe you curled your lips in the same way? It doesn't mean that your entire appearances were completely identical.
And all in all~ one person's junk, is another's treasure. Ugly and pretty are a personal preference.
*shrugs*
Good luck fixing your insides though.
Loving yourself makes ALL the difference~~
2007-08-17 22:08:03 · answer #4 · answered by WinterRose 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ruined your life? Really? How old are you?
I doesn't matter what other people think or say about you. You need to believe in yourself.
Beauty is only skin deep, and it fades with age. Make sure you're beautiful on the inside too. A good way to do that is to be nice (sincerely nice) to everyone, even the "ugly" girls... that means not calling them "ugly" anymore.
2007-08-17 21:38:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it. You know what you look like that's all that matters. And also don't take it personal because sometimes although you don't look alike, there might be some similarities. Like maybe hair color, shape of the face, thickness of your eyebrows but over all your face features are prettier. I have a cousin like that. She is younger them me and we look nothing alike, but we have had people at malls ask us if we are twins. Our similarities is. Same color, length hair, same color eyes, same height, same weight, same skin complaction, but when you take a good look at our face features we are completely different, but from a distance we might even look like swins or sister.
It's all good honey dont worry about it, every girl knows when someone is better or worst.
Oh by the way next time ask them. Do you think she's pretty?? And see what they say, if they say "yes" then they are lying and let them know how ugly you think she is and not to ever say it again. There you have it!!!
2007-08-17 21:50:24 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its probably not a kind thing to call anyone "ugly" though i am sure some folks were not blessed as others in the features department ...i am sure other qualities they possess are of a much higher value then someone's features...i take it you were referring to this persons facile features...
getting to your question...in school many of our peers ...sadly, say cruel things to us ....sometimes just meaning it as a joke ,unaware of the impact it replays in our heads ...thus causing our emotions to run awry...the words never go away but the thing to keep in mind is thats all it was...a cruel unkind joke ...nothing is ever gonna take the words back ...but dwelling on them is what is giving it power to cause your insecurity...instead of repeating the unkindness thrown upon you ...do try doing a few things ...1st consider the source(s) and the context in which it was said...were they smiling or smirking? was it said wth conviction (detailed information)or just a hit and run ? or could it be you said this girl was ugly and someone came to the girls rescue and turned it back on you ? whatever the case hun don't spoil what god has given you by not being beautiful inside ...thats where it counts in the long run...people would rather be with someone less attractrive that is kind to everyone ...and smiles ..than that of one who uses his or her beauty as a tool to place themselves above others ...please do not think i am saying that you are ...or that if someone says your pretty or beautiful that you deny it ...accept it ...thank them kindly but show them you know another topic ...that vanity does not spoil you ...that you are important for the woman inside...that beautiful being that everyone one wants to know...and ya know where i would start sunshine....is with that girl you find less attractive...make friends with her and perhaps you will forget vanity...two great things can come outta it not to mention a life worth of rewards ...you can help her work on "prettying" up and make a really good friend ...and the riches you wonder .?..they come from your compassion of helping another human being ...the giving of yourself ...your kindness ...but please enter it tenderly do not go up to her and announce you are going to try to beautify her ...be nice ...put yourself in her place ...use tact and kindness...do all this and you will win more then a beauty contest ...best of luck to ya hun
2007-08-18 00:33:59 · answer #7 · answered by d j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to think always that you are pretty and forget about this ugly thing comparison...ugliness doesn't always denote ugly face. Pretty people are those with kind hearts and can easily do things that make people happy and relax.
2007-08-17 21:52:31 · answer #8 · answered by dodadz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its funny how some pple are so obsessed with looks and get so affected by it when there are millions of pple out there who are severly handicapped. Insecurity is your problem eh? Thank God that's your only problem. I'm sorry for being crude, but i just felt someone had to tell u this.
The clouded mind sees nothing...
2007-08-17 21:35:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be pretty full of yourself.
Go befriend this "ugly" girl, she probably has some inner beauty that you certainly lack.
Heck, not expecting a 'best answer' for this, wanna deduct 60 points from you for being such an insensitive, self centered Paris wannabe.
BARF!!!!!!
\
2007-08-17 21:38:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Who cares girl. even if u are not pretty, u just need to feel beautiful. Remind yourself every day for as many times as you can that you are a pretty girl. And believe it. And this makes you feel the truth
2007-08-17 21:34:00 · answer #11 · answered by Mosi 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋