I'm dating this fantastic guy, who also happens to be divorced. Just for the record, he is older than me, as he is 31 and I'm 24. He was married a little over two years and was with his ex for about 7. Now, I also just came out of a long term relationship also- 6 years. His ex-wife is 25, and wants her and I to be 'good friends'. She also said that she wanted my boyfriend and I to 'be another couple Emmanuel and I hang out with'. Emmanuel is her boyfriend, by the way. Those two have only been officially divorced since July, though they called it off back in November. How odd is it that she expects me to be friends with her? I don't want to be her friend, to be honest. I'm trying so hard to get my boyfriend to empathize with me and understand why I don't particuarly want her around that often, let alone be friends. I'm not insecure in our relationship in the least, or that they'll somehow get back together, but I don't want her in my face all the time trying to be my friend.
2007-08-17 18:58:03 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just to clear it up, there are no children involved here. If there were, I probably wouldn't be in this relationship. I wouldn't have even considered it.
2007-08-18 06:26:35 · update #1
Isn't that just SO sweet that the ex just wants everyone to be all snuggly wuggly poo!! GAK! I'm sorry, but I see no REASON for exes to "hang out" together - - if they were such good pals in the first place, why did they break up?
I can just see it now - - the 4 of you out somewhere when the ex brings up a "quaint" memory of their PAST and they start talking.... you and Emmanuel would be totally left out and very uncomfortable.
Tell your bf not to take it personal, but you just are not interested in being pals with the ex - say "Even if I did not know you, she just does not appeal to me as friend material." DO NOT explain your reasons - you have the right to not like someone AND your bf should respect THAT.
Tell him "thanks for the offer, but I would rather pick my OWN friends - wouldn't YOU?" Make him a deal - you won't pick his friends, and he can't pick yours.
2007-08-17 19:16:45 · answer #1 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That b i t c h is up to no good she will try her best to come between the two of you in such a sneaky way your boyfriend won't think a thing.Now he thinks she just wants to be friends.Why now i would ask if they couldn't get along when married why does she want to be his friend. I 'm sorry but you better found a way to convince your boyfriend that it's not a good idea for the two of them to be together because before you know it they will be having sex behind your back,that's her plan and she will found a way if you don't stop her.
2007-08-17 19:29:34 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there aren't children involved I wouldn't be out to be her friend. I would be polite but no way would I be her friend. Too weird for me. It seems like a game to them or something. I definitely don't want to be a player in that.
2007-08-17 19:07:17 · answer #3 · answered by tabbikat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh man I know what ur feeling, my bfs ex wife tries to be all chumsy with me and i picture them as a couple then it ticks me off to know he slept with her. i keep distance and when I see her i avoid her at all costs, its your choice to be her friend dont let anyone force u. If your man and her agree on being a 4some, say well i want u and (your ex's name) to be friends. Then he will get that odd feeling.
2007-08-17 19:35:39 · answer #4 · answered by Crazy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend and his ex have children together you had better try your best to be her friend or she will make you life a living hell. If they have no kids, then tell your boyfriend you're not the least bit interested and if that's what he wants his woman to do then you're not the woman for him.
2007-08-17 19:13:11 · answer #5 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not necessarily a big deal to be acquaintances, but I'd say friendship should not even be on the radar.
If you meet somewhere by accident, by all means - enjoy the companionship. But - anything else would be uncomfortable.
2007-08-17 19:06:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him that she is not a friend of yours ,that friends are the ones that you have things you enjoy doing together and have become friends over an amount of time. friends are what you have now and you dont want or need new ones. tell him she is his past and you have no desire to have her in your life.
2007-08-18 05:05:12 · answer #7 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends? Not necessarily. Nice? Most definitely.
2007-08-17 19:11:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If there are no children then no I don't think you should have to be friends. Sounds like she wants him close by her. If you know what I mean.
2007-08-17 19:20:36 · answer #9 · answered by 354gr 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay she sounds a little weird...
But no you don't have to be friends. Try to be civil but unless he has a kid with her then you really don't have to even be that.
2007-08-17 23:35:14 · answer #10 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋