Would you have a problem with your spouse being just "friends" with their ex? If your spouse wanted you to meet that person would you?
2007-08-17 17:29:07 · 23 answers · asked by myfamilyjulian 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That would really depend on the situation.. I am friends with most of my ex'es, and I would have no problem if my husband were to have friendships with his ex girlfriends. But the only way that works, is when both people involved (the spouse and the ex) are on the same page about things. I mean, if one (or both) are harboring some old feelings for each other, it can turn into a real mess.. and that wouldn't be fair to anyone, and could hurt a lot of people. But, if they have a genuine friendship (and nothing more) then I see no problem with it.
2007-08-18 04:26:41 · answer #1 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how they broke up. If my spouse was dumped by the ex than I'd want to know why, all the circumstances....etc.
It's hard and your spouse should absolutely let you be the final answer on whether there is a friendship. Because sometimes, making up with an ex can help to make a present relationship better.
A lot of the time the person has no intention of getting back together with the old ex but just needs some sort of closure....and honestly, if a person can be friends with an ex it's much better than trash talking or hating. I would trust a friendly ex much better than one who was hated....seriously, hate means there is still feeling there and friendship means some sort of understanding has happened.
It's difficult and can cause so much insecurity. I hope your spouse is understanding because they might need to be just as understanding in your case if you would wish to make amends with a previous significant other.
2007-08-17 17:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-12 19:43:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, been here done it. My husband and I have "run" into SEVERAL of his girlfriends. LATER to find out it was on purpose. He had apparently kept up with them on myspace and wanted one of them to befriend me since we were moving back to his hometown- dumbass- ANYWAY- yes, I have a problem with my husband hanging out with exs- they are exs for a reason or hed still be with them. In the occurances in meeting them and then putting the stories with the person/faces I think it not only made me really uncomfortable but it was just too much to handle. Some stuff in the past needs to just stay there. We met up with the ex before he met me and Im glad I met her so now I can tease him on what a dumbbutt he was for dating her, but it also made me question myself because she was NOTHING like me. Its not worth it to put yourself in a situation where you start second guessing yourself. AND ALL women do it- so no one say that its an insecurity- its freakin normal and every woman I know does it- but to answer the question- Yes you should have a problem with it, and no dont meet the ex's. Sometimes you need to just focus on future, get new friends and leave all your baggage at the door.
2007-08-18 06:05:21 · answer #4 · answered by nc_southern_belle_2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friendly relationship with my ex husband, and his second wife is understandably a bit insecure about it, or at least was BEFORE they got married last year. She seems to have settled down quite a bit, although she never was horribly jealous (to my face, at least). We were together almost 15 years and share a child, so staying friendly is in everyone's best interest. She met me a week after they started dating, so in all honesty she knew what she was getting into. At the time I was over for family dinner at least 3x a week, and the night I met her I actually made dinner for her, my ex, our son and her 2 children.
Her first Christmas with him I was there for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, in addition to her parents. Then I went back to my apartment while they all spent Christmas day together. Kind of twisted, but I think the way we did it stemmed the jealousy faster. I told her straight out that while I had not wanted the divorce, it had gotten too dysfunctional between us and he was not willing to get counseling, choosing instead to have an affair with a much younger co-worker (which she already knew). I made it very clear from the beginning I did NOT want him back.
I really think it depends on your personal situation. If I were currently dating I would not hesitate to introduce my man to my ex husband, that intimate connection has dissolved due to too many fights and hurts between us. If they had a long, hot relationship which only dissolved because they were too young or due to distance or some situation like that, you might want to think twice. If it ended due to infidelity, verbal or physical abuse, growing apart or simply falling out of love, there really isn't too much to worry about. If it ended amicably, that usually means they both wanted out.
2007-08-17 17:59:19 · answer #5 · answered by navy_brat913 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What purpose would it serve? When two people are married why would either one of you want someone from your past to enter in that at one time you were both probably more than just friends? If you are married why would it be important now to resurrect the dead unless you have the idea to bring it back to life? I would have more important things to do in my life than to entertain even the idea of that. People move on in life for a reason and if ex's need to come back to be introduced to anybodys spouse I would question who has not moved on here?
2007-08-17 18:09:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
When me and my husband first started dating we had long talks about our "X's" and how we both still ran into them here and there. So we made a pact that if we were ever someplace and one of our X's were there that we would introduce them to which ever one. We have stuck by this to this day. As a matter of fact one of my X's set me and my husband up on our blind date, that led to our almost 12 years of being together So I say take it in stride,everyone has a past.If you can't handle being around them talk to your spouse about it. It shouldn't be a problem. They are with you because they love you.
2007-08-17 17:39:55 · answer #7 · answered by yankabilliechic 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If he were upfront about it with me? I doubt I'd have issues. We've been together for 13 years and through so much that "talking to an ex" is hardly worth mentioning.
Either you trust your spouse, or you don't.
Either your spouse is worthy of your trust, or they aren't.
Simple as that.
2007-08-17 17:51:03 · answer #8 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
AK! I Just had this problem just had this fight tonight(3 weeks after being a good sport about the girl) I just asked a question related.You my friend are in a bad situation...To maintain your dignity you must allow this and be kind as to not make yourself look like a jealous freak. You have to trust your spouse and let the chips fall where they may.
2007-08-17 17:40:21 · answer #9 · answered by WoRDWiz 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋
My husbands ex was the reason why we broke up for a while before we married. He cheated on me with her and I let him have it. So hell yea I want to meet the girl so I can beat her *** too.
2007-08-17 18:07:55 · answer #10 · answered by helpful one 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋