why do so many people give up so easily on marriage?

Question

for better for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, does it mean ANYTHING anymore???

so unhappy marriages are those who live in parallel marriages or those who simply "go through the motions" because their selfishness and they're self absorbed...this applies to both genders without any exception..

Answer 1

Why quit?
Because the "other" simply isn't what you need and isn't interested in changing.
You mean nothing to him / her and he / she is only too ready to let you in on this little secret.
It usually starts with a lack of sex.
Ever notice how there's never any negotiation?
The "low drive" spouse just cuts off the 'beloved' either all at once or in littles and that's it. End of discussion.
Next the stealing starts. Usually only small things like understating her / his income so as to not carry a fair share of household costs and / or emergencies.
Later the serious stuff.
If there are kids, LOOK OUT!
Next scene?
Judges chambers and there's a bailiff putting cuffs on you.
It's just how it goes.
NEVER let them see your income or expenses and ALWAYS have an emergency escape plan with funding.
HIDE THE MONEY assuming there is any and do this routinely, so they do not suspect.
When you catch her / him in phase two (Stealing your money or your kids) grab the important stuff (kids) and RUN!
Do not stop and do not look over your shoulder for at least a year.
By that time it will dawn on her / him that the rules have changed and the balance of power is no longer in his / her hands.
At that point make sure you do not contact the other unless you already have a restraining order to keep your kids, a backup identity ready to slip on and a lawyer.
NEVER talk to him / her without a lawyer who works for YOU ALONE!

Answer 2

Many people view short-term happiness as a right. When the going gets tough, they bail because they're not happy.

If you talk to anyone who has been married for a significant length of time, you'll find there have been plenty of unhappy moments, issues and difficulties. One big difference in long-term marriages is that BOTH individuals are committed to the marriage, will work on it and make changes in their own personal life to make their family life better over the long run.

This is a generalization. Many long-term marriages are nothing short of abuse for both couples and many short-term marriages are cut short for good reason. But - in my ever so humble opinion, there are still a good number of divorces that occur because one spouse isn't feeling happy enough....

Answer 3

That's why the peachier use to say at many weddings that marriage is something that should not be entered into lightly because you are gonna go though some changes.
When i got married my marriage vowels meant a lot to me
but some times people change and want to be selfless.
That's why it is very important that before marriage you sit down and talk to get to no one another and find out if you are compatible instead of rushing to the alter. Best of luck

Answer 4

It should! I think we live in a world where everyone knows that you can get out of your marriage if you want and so people don't always go into it with a "till death do us part" idea. I believe in marriage and I have said this since the day Joe asked me to marry him.....I will only get married once, and when I die my obit will either read married for...years or widowed. There will be no second, third, fourth, fifth husband, and no divorce. It is until one of us dies, and even then I would not remarry. It's a VERY personal decision, and I have felt like this since I was young and my parents divorced.

Answer 5

people are selfish. they think their happiness is the most important thing. I personally feel that being an honorable person and bringing joy to others are two things that will make me happy. I don't expect any person to make me happy or fulfill my every desire. Sadly many people do think that way.

You have to know that there was a time when I had every reason to leave my husband. I chose to stick it out and I am very very happy with him. He is a good man who is imperfect like me. If I thought it was over because he once made me very unhappy I would be on my 8th marriage by now because no one that I've met is perfect.

Answer 6

because society okays it to happen, once upon a time it was a badge of shame and dishonor to have a divorce, these days it seems like its more of a club membership that u need to be accepted..

Im not saying all marriages should stay together i definately feel, that if one or the other breaches their vows with violence, cheating or harm, then most definately that is a "real breach" of marital vows..

But just because its not some romance novel, or some fairytale u dreamed of or cause u got bored.. thats not a "real" excuse..

When people start believing in morals and values again, and start owning up to their vows, everyday and not just when its convient to them.. marriage will start lasting again but until then the divorce rates will continue to rise..

Answer 7

Good question. I am not sure why people would give up so easily unless they took their vows in a light-hearted manner. Part of the problem nowadays is that people expect instant gratification instead of knowing what it's like to work really hard on something and then live happier with the good results. However, I also understand when you work really hard and your failure seems to plague you, and divorce seems the logical answer.

Answer 8

Some give up but not easily. I've struggled with my husband's drinking for years and I can't take much more. He refuses to get help and the stress is damaging my health. I'm still hanging in there. If I make a decision to leave to won't be because I want an easy out and it won't be a decision made lightly.

That said, I agree that some people to give up too easily.

Answer 9

People give up because it is easier, atleast that is what I think. No body takes anything seriously anymore. They just take the easy way out.

It is sad, really.

It seems this might correlate with the decline in the influence of church on people? People now are less focused on religion so their morals are skewed from what we have been used to in the past.

Answer 10

I agree, some people jump ship as soon as problems begin. I can't relate completely because I have been very lucky that I have a great relationship. But I do know that most relationships have "down" times. They should be worked on, then sometimes the relationship revives better than ever.