I have VERY low self esteem!?

Question

Ever since I was 13, (I'm 16 now), I have always haven't thought of myself that highly. I'm always sweating, and nervous to walk around a crowd of people, cause I'm afriad somebody will say something bad about me, and I'm a very sensitive, fragile person. I'm afraid to ask a girl out, or to introduce my self to people. I'm usually by myself, and rarely speak if not spoken to.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not like really ugly or anything, I've gotten hit on from many girls and stuff, and gotten compliment for many stuff, but it just doesn't affect anything, I just keep feeling like I'm not anything special.

Answer 1

You know what? You are absolutely right, you aren't anything special per say. You are just like everyone else. We all fear rejection. We all are nervous around crowds and worry people are talking behind our backs. As you grow older and get more life experience under your belt you'll see that sometimes life involves rejection and it's not the end of the world. In the end it doesn't matter what other's think about you, but what you think of yourself. But relax, everyone feels this way at some point.

Answer 2

Why? Why is it that you care what people think about you? I used to be like that. I'm 18 now and starting college in a few days. I would have been so freaked out since all of my friends are going to schools all across the country, but I've learned not to really care. I know it sounds easier said than done, but you have to figure out why you care. I guess I'm slightly rebellious when it comes to fads and the things that are popular, so when something is "in style" I usually make a conscious effort to NOT get those things, just 'cause I don't want people to think I'm a poser....'cause I am not popular. I figure, if I'm not popular then I shouldn't try to be, I should be fine the way I am. Growing up I had always been told that everything was my fault by my mother, and one day I just realized that she was in the wrong. I realized that she was being unfair and a bad person and that I was okay the way I was. After that I made friends and if people commented (in a negative way) on my clothes or anything, I just smiled and shrugged. They have free will, I have free will, there's no reason why I should feel bad just 'cause "they" don't like me. Why should I care? Obviously I have friends that do like me and that's all that mattered.

You shouldn't worry about it too much. It's good to worry a little, but you should NOT think that there is something wrong with you. I'd worry if you didn't have doubts because that would mean that your life had gone too smoothly and something was bound to go wrong soon. You should (and this make take a while, even years) try to figure out the root of your insecurity. This may not have been very helpful, but you should know, that wherever you are, no matter how far in the future, there is definitely someone that is going through or has gone through the same thing as you, probably the person you least expect it to be.

Answer 3

Sorry I can't give you self esteem.You have to give it to your self other wise it wouldn't be SELF esteem. I think your problem is shyness and inexperience. I want you to know that no one in the world is perfect and practice will not make you prefect ...only better. I used to be shy like you. I started out by visiting old people in nursing homes. I talked and listened. I learned so many cool things and it made me feel good about myself because those people really looked forward to my visits. If people want to talk about me and laugh at me then that's ok . I found better things to do with my time than to worry about people who talk trash. Now I talk to everyone! I Don't care where I am I'll find some one to gab with. You can't be all that bad if girls are talking to you. Give yourself a break ...jump out there and strike up a conversation. The best way to get friends is to be one. The best way to build self esteem is to help improve the esteem of people around you. try this.. tomorrow ...where ever you go..what ever your doing..say hello and smile at as many people as you can, hold open doors and smile at the people who pass through. Complement friends and classmates and teachers for their clothes or hair or just say "hey! glad to see you. This may freak the parents out a little but they'll get over it. The main thing is to know you are loved and you are important to the order of the universe otherwise you wouldn't have been born...so get out there and be YOU cause there's no one else who can!!!

Answer 4

Here are 9 things you can do to put up your self esteem: (works for me... maybe it will work for you too... :D)

Don't put yourself down, practice (maybe in front of a mirror... tlak to yourself as if the person in the mirror is not you...), act the part, look the part (treat yourself with some new clothes), visualize your achievements (mentally rehearse something you plan to achieve), learn from your mistakes, don't blame yourself (even if there's a link to you and the problem there are lots of others!), mix with other people who make you feel good and treat yourself (don't punish yourself... makes you feel more suckier...)

Got this all from a book and if you don't THINK this would work then it will NEVER work... (thought is directly proportional to action and mood)

Answer 5

You want the truth?

You are not special. There are 6.5 BILLION of us.

What you are is very lucky.

By your description, you are well off compared to the 99% of the planet, who live in abject poverty and dying early from overwork, malnutrition, famine or disease.

So, buck up little camper.
Failures you WILL encounter in breaking out of your shell are nothing compared how terrible your life could be.

If all else fails, you could go into mathematics, with the rest of us antisocials.

Answer 6

Dont be so down on your self. You seem like a really nice person.It dosent matter what ppl think about u it is wat u think about yourself. You are special in your own way. Just be yourself and u will find friends that u want to hang with.
P.S. Maybe u will find the girl that u can talk to.:))

Answer 7

I understand your sensitivity and nervousness, it could be because of your upbringing and the environment you are living with; mind you, it's a part of growing, you need someone
who can talk to you, emotionally, physically, psychologically and one who can urge you to change and expand your horizon, meet new friends, talk to them, enlarge your circle
of activities; go out and be yourself. Good luck!

Answer 8

i think u should try to change ur personality.n u must sure that u have something special in ur self.i was just like you.sooo fragile n low esteem.i was so nerveous when i was walking outside my house.i tried to used to it.try to walking by my self,n try to talk to other.when you talk to some1,,just say everything inside ur heart.firstly,try to talk 2 ur family,then ur friends,ur girlfriend,after that,u can start to talk to someone to some1 u've just know.i think i could help a little about ur personality.just send an em@il to me at : [e-mail]

Answer 9

you will climb out of it,When I was your age I thought the world
was out to get me,
Then I found a great girlfriend that boosted my additude
Its all history now
My life is not that great,,,,But,I still like myself
And everyone else too!!

Answer 10

You my friend are possessed by the demon of self-doubt. It was a demon created by Lucifer for making people think that they were worthless. It was one of the main reasons why people wanted to build the Tower of Babel over 5000 years ago. Jesus be with ye.