I dont like my husband's best friend?

Question

I need advice. I can't get along with my husband's best friend. I feel he is a bad influence. I catched him once staring at my 16 year old sister.He is into guns and hunting and I hate that. Everytime my husband goes out with him he forgets any promises he makes to me. For example, last week he said he would go to his cousin's house and that when he came back we would go out. He did leave late, like at 7:00 p.m., but he returned at 11:00 pm. and then acted like he had said nothing.I told my husband I hated his friend. My husband sided with him and even told him what I said.My husband said that nothing would come between them so every once in a while he goes out with him without asking me or telling me anything he does. I feel that my husband should have not told his friend that I didnt like him and should have just tried to keep things neutraI. I feel very disrespected and I want an apology from my husband. I really dont know what to do. I feel like leaving his *** sometimes.

Answer 1

it's not right for your husband to neglect you and forget he made promises to.

it's not his friend's fault that your husband didn't follow through with going to your cousin's house... his friend didn't hog tie him and refuse to let him go home!

it's rude of your husband to just go out with someone and not let you know he will be away from home, as well...

maybe this guy doesn't bring out the best in your husband; however we can't choose our spouse's friends. you CAN calmly let your husband know that you feel abandoned when he doesn't follow through with plans, or when he just leaves without letting you know he will be gone.

if you continue to make a big deal out of this friend situation, your husband may resent it, and go out of h is way to spend even MORE time with the person.

cope with it as best you can... but DO let him know how you feel about being forgotten/abandoned.

as for the guy staring at your 16 year old sister, well, maybe he doesn't have the sense god gave a duck..... guns and hunting are "guy things" and i could go on about how wild animals are overpopulated and how ill some become if the population isn't curbed, but that's another subject... people hunt, we can't stop them. it's really not a reason to dislike a person.

i think this is more about the way your husband simply abandons you and you feelings when he spends time with this guy. i suppose it would have been better all around if your husband let you know what sort of extended time he would be spending with his buddy.

i hope it works out.

Answer 2

You don't have to feel guilty or something that your husband told his best friend that you don't like him because that's the truth. You're just telling those things because you care for your husband and your sister. Sometimes you need to do things just to make other people realized for all the things they doing are not good to ones welfare. With the friendship your husband and his best friend has it's quite difficult for them to separate. Once in a while always remind your husband on what his doing especially if she's with his best friend so that in the end you won't have regrets at the back of your head that you didn't reminded him if he's doing weird things with his best friend. Keep on reminding your husband especially if he's with his best friend because that's your way of showing how much you loved him.

Answer 3

Your can't change your husbands friends behavior, but you can change how you react to him. When he is around, be at least polite if not friendly. Do not alienate your husband any further by making him choose between you or his friend. Your husband is showing a lack of respect for your feelings and that's sad, but turning on his friend won't help you. Try to fill your time up with good friends and family and make sure that when you spend time with your husband, you are loving and supportive. This may actually make your husband realize what that he should pay more attention to your feelings. But just because his friend is into guns and hunting, doesn't make him a bad friend. Perhaps you could try to see in him what is is your husband likes.

Answer 4

And well it should weigh heavily-- it may determine success or failure, high self-esteem or self-loathing for your son. Your husband seems to hold the key. How does he react to the rejection of his adopted son from "his friends"? If he's on the same page as you, the answer seems clear: both of you meet with the friends individually and openly tell them that they seem to ignore the elder child, and if it continues, you as a couple will have to sever ties with them in the interest of your son's well-being. Do it kindly and use "I" or "we" language: "We perceive you seem to show interest in our new child, but not with Joey, and it hurts us," not "You ignore Joey, and you're hurting him." If the friends persist in shunning the boy, cut ties with them. That's where your husband has to be in sync with you. It troubles me that he hasn't already cut ties with his friends because of how they treat you, unless he's totally oblivious to that. If so, talk to him and say how it makes you feel. You have only so many days in your life, and perhaps they shouldn't be wasted with "his friends," but rather, spent with "your and his friends." Expand the latter circle. Most of all, lavish your son with attention-- your husband should, too-- but don't smother him. If he does wrong or doesn't meet his potential, address those problems appropriately, but make it clear that you're less than satisfied with his actions, not with him as a person. My younger brother was favored in our family and it created a chasm between us. I love him now, but it took years, and we had the advantage or sharing the same parents, which is not your case. I'd hate to see a rift grow between your son and your new child-- they'll have each other long after you and your husband are gone. You can't make people change. They must want to change. God be with you.

Answer 5

I understand how you feel. I know someone who had the same problem. I have an idea tho. Do any of your friends have husbands or boyfriends with some of the same interests as your husband? Try to get him involved with other people in your community. Maybe if he met some other people he wouldn't have time for the friend you don't like. I don't think this is his only problem. No matter who he is with he should keep his word and you should be his first priority.

Answer 6

If you plan on leaving him just because you don't like his best friend you have a problem. No guy is prefect and if thats the only thing he does it could be worse. By telling his bf what you said hes only showing you how close he really is to that friend. Your not gonna like everyone in his life. Find a way to get over it or really talk about it and work something out.

Answer 7

I think you're in the right here but he (as a typical dumb man) just gets mad that he can't have his way. I guess in order to not seem like the control freak, maybe let him go with his friend and don't say anything unless you suspect cheating. In the mean time, get a friend of your own (a male would be great) to hang out with EVERY time your husband goes off with his friend. It's dumb to have to play tricks like this when you're married, but sounds like that's what you have to resort to.

Answer 8

I dont like my husband's best friend?

Answer 9

My husband is not my best friend

Answer 10

Separation of husband?