How Do You Tell When You Are Being Taken Advantage Of?

Question

I have a couple of friends in my life that I think are taking advantage of me. How can you tell when your friends are taking advantage of your kindness? One friend is always ready to come over here for dinner, movie, couple of beers, asking me to watch his daughter, but I never see him asking me if I would like to hang with him at his place. I have another friend who lived with me for awhile until she sucked me dry and then moved out. Thats a sure sign I know. I have another friend who I do not think is completely honest with me about how she feels about a guy we both know. How can one tell, are there signs your friends are taking advantage of your kindness, the type of caring person you are?

Answer 1

sometimes people can "see you coming"... you are apparently a nice person who is willing to do for others. these people take advantage because of your good nature.

so it's probably time to set some personal boundaries and limits. if you feel like saying NO when you feel a friend is taking advantage then say NO.... or if you feel like NO because you aren't in the mood to help say NO, or if you have something else you'd rather do say NO.

please don't neglect yourself because someone needs a babysitter, or a place to live or isn't honest. your friend can PAY someone else to babysit.. those who need somewhere to live can get a job and pay rent... and dishonest people could probably be avoided all together.

when we feel we are never at the receiving end of good deeds and no one does anything for us, perhaps we are simply giving way too much!?

you could do a search for setting personal boundaries if you'd like more information... take care of YOU! no one else will, hon. hugs

Answer 2

If you find that you are doing all of the giving in your relationships and very little, if any receiving then chances are you are being taken advantage of. If your friend always wants to come over your place and eat up your food then, start asking to go over to his home. If he's cool with that then maybe he just wants get out of the house sometimes. On the other hand if he says no, then casually mention how you never get to hang at his place. There could be a legitimate reason. If not then yes, he's taking advantage of you.

As far as your other friend who is hiding her feelings maybe she's not totally sure of them yet. Bring it up. Say, I notice you act like this around _____, do you like him?

Remember you teach people how to treat you, so be good to those who are good to you but do not let people take your kindness for a weakness.

Answer 3

You can tell your being taken advantage of when you want to talk about you and they aren't interested in what your saying, like they aren't really paying attention to you. All they want to do is talk about whats wrong or right in their lives, ask you for favors or money but never reciprocate. Sounds like you have such friends as that. You might weed these people out of your life by learning to say NO to some of them and see what happens. Good for you, bad for them. Good luck.