I desperately need HELP, Please answer!! I don't want to...but I might ruin my life!?

Question

I am going to try and make this as short and sweet as I can.

I live with my aunt...and things are wonderful!! But they want to send me to my grandma's house and...the people in that house despise me (I've lived there before for like a year and I almost killed myself it got so bad), they munipulate and lie and they don't respect me or even love me at all. They only take me in cuz I won't be 18 for anouther year and a half so they have no choice. I can't take that again, I just can't go throught, I won't!!!

So I was going to try and go to a friends house but in the state of Florida were I live, they would just take me and drag me back. I would run away but I'm more mature then that and I know it is a stupid thing to do. I want to get the law involved because both my real parents are in jail and I'm in relative custody with my aunt (my point being, I am no stranger to the law). I am not scared of going into the system, I would rather be there then at that house..........

I could also get there and compleatly freak out, scream and yell (done it before) tell everyone exactly what my problem is and refuse to deal with it anymore. They allready ahve no respect for me. I jsut don't know waht to do. I will be 18 in just over a year so I don't care what happens to me but I would like to be as smart as I can about what I decide to do.

Don't forget I do have a friend who's parents are more then willing to take me but my grandma would never be okay with that, she's too crazy and controling.

Is there any civil way to run away, like go to a place for run aways or something???

My aunt knows about how I feel, she says there is nothing she can do. She want to put me there till her and my uncle get on there feet.

I personaly..have no criminal record at all.

Answer 1

i think u shoudl talk it out with ur auntie. n not deff not go to ur grandmother. sorry i met her shes a lil loco. or u cn stay with me. if she allows it. or if beth alows it. n if not get the state involved tell them bout ur grandmother. buh ii here for u sammie =]

Answer 2

I am not too clear on the fact of why you aunt would want to send you to a horrible place like that again especially since they have been so nasty to you before. I assume your aunt is aware of this past right? otherwise it is very important to tell her as this may assist with her deciding to send you away in the first place. Was relative custody given to your aunt by the law? if so, then a good argument would be that your aunt can't just send you to live with anybody when she is responsible for you according to the law. I don't think you should do something drastic to get arrested or to get into the system so you do not have to go to that place. Perhaps there are things you can do to convince your grandmother not to send you. If it means assisting around the house, giving them a helping hand. It might be worth the extra effort if you can change their minds in the process. Whatever you do think wisely because remember being free is a good thing and noone or nothing is worth going to jail for. I wish you the best of luck and be safe.

Answer 3

A friend of mine worked for DCF in Florida, and I've heard many many stories related to yours. I would contact a Guardian Ad Litem (if you have one) and talk with him/her. If you don't have one, call the Guardian Ad Litem's office in your county and tell them your situation. Or if there is a judge that manages your case, write a letter to him or her as well. Running away is not the answer, so I want to encourage you not to do that. You will most definitely end up in a foster home (that is if your aunt will not take you back) that will REALLY treat you like crap, but if the relative situation is really bad and unbearable, then a foster home may be the solution. As a 15 or 16 year old, you have a voice in the situation since you are over the age of 14. The sad thing is is that many children and older kids get pushed around from home to home without any real permanence in their life. When your aunt took you in and your counselor did a home study, I'm almost sure that your aunt agreed fully to keep you until your 18th birthday. It's not your fault. I'm not quite sure what the deal is, but it may be hard for your aunt to deal with the fact that your mom and dad are in jail and that she is caring for you without any support or gratitude from them. By the way, your aunt can't just let your grandma care for you without a court order. If they continue to do that, you need to let the local court know that there is no court approval. Also, you may be eligible for the Road to Independence Program when you turn 18. It's a state mandated program for people in your situation. Upon turning 18, you will be granted a stipend (payment) by the state which will allow you to receive a college or vocational education. You need to find out more about that too. You have the right to that as well.

I hope all of this helps!!!! I have a yahoo email (redicks_girl) if you need more info. I'd be glad to help more.

Answer 4

I'm really sorry for what you have been through and what you are living now. Don't you have an advocate in the system that you might be able to talk to? I wish I could give you the right answer, but I can't. I guess the best advice I can give you is ride it out and go day by day. As you say, soon you'll be 18 and a legal adult. I know it is easier said than done. My heart aches for you, but my faith will pray for you. GOD is always there to hear you out, I don't know if you believe in him , but I do and as long as one of us does believe that's all you and I need. I will have an angel looking after you, never forget that.
I truthfully wish there was something I could say to make it better.
Please don't do anything foolish, it sounds like you are a mature person and I applaud you for that. I KNOW that you will be someone someday. You will live your life to the fullest and will be stronger than you are now. It takes a strong person to be putting up with what you have. Just remember that these circumstances will eventually make you stronger. Try to see the possitive of things ,as hard as that may be.
Stay possitive and focused. Remember it might seem like you are alone , but you are really not. Talk to your angel and your answer to your question will pop into your head.
Again, I'm sorry .

Peace and love your way +

Answer 5

First of all Suicide is permanent! I learned that a while ago through some of my hardships. I guess I'm a little confused if everything is so wonderful at your aunts why do they want to send u to your grandma's? Believe it or not I'v been in about the same boat as you. I'm 19 now and living on my own now. Life get's so much better. I promise you. It may seem so long away, but it will come. e-mail me if u want and we can talk k. Cause I know what u are going through. [e-mail]. Don't give up on life that is NOT the sollution.

Answer 6

Aww ;( Firstly you need to decide which place you prefer to be. Thats with your Aunt, yes? You need to have a SERIOUS/emotional quiet chat with her. Does she love you, and care about you? If so, she will do what ever is best for you (What ever you are happiest with). Tell her how much you want to stay with her and how much you dislike being at your Grandma's.. Tears may come, if needs be. But, she should understand. If she doesn't, then you need to maybe configure the reason's WHY she is sending you there, and how if its for your own good. If it is for your own good, then she cares about you and is only doing what is right for you. Let me know if none of this works.

Answer 7

Post a question on the law page about home you can become an emancipated minor. You could stay at your aunt's house out of choice or a family friend.

I would say get the ball rolling as soon as possible.

Answer 8

What about you getting a part time job to help your aunt and uncle out. I am really sorry to hear that and I really hope you can get that figured out. Also be smart about it, dont follow into your parents footsteps (you mentioned they were in jail) you are young with your whole life in front of you. At your age you should not have to worry about where you are going to live and am sorry you have to grow up so fast hon.

Answer 9

With a criminal record (jail time) your future is totally screwed as far as getting a good job or visiting other countries is concerned.

So don't be so eager to go to jail or go against the legal system.

If your current custodians are being abusive to you (and if you can prove it beyond your-word-against-hers) then you should call Social services for assistance.

Answer 10

you didn't say why your aunt wants to send you to the grandmother's.

have you discussed this calmly with your aunt? have you expressed your fears about the grandmother's house? let her know how you feel. perhaps your aunt can work something out?

otherwise, is there a caseworker who could help? if so, you might make an appointment to see her, or give her a call?

i sure hope this works out. i don't want you to be unhappy.

Answer 11

get some sort of legal advice. I know the university here has a student lawyers referall service, so the one local to you might have the same. They can't make you go where your not wanted, nor want to be, I'm sure. And your right, running never solved anything. Just makes it worse.