How young is to young to get married even if you know you love the person and want to marry at a young age?

Question

Me and my girlfriend have been discusing marrige we have been together for three years know we have gone through all the ups and downs that most adult couples have gone threw so what do i do?

Answer 1

How old are you ???? and No you havent gone through the ups and downs most married people have gone through......... being together , and being married are totally different.......... if you are of age......... then get married...... it is alot of work to have a good marriage........... and its not just the ups and downs, its families, and money, and jobs, and children, and losing a job, and no money, its not easy... also you need to get a better education so you can raise your future children to read, since you cant spell..............

Answer 2

My husband and I got married young and don't regret it. We've been together for 5 years and married for 1 and a half. I do HIGHLY reccomend LIVING TOGETHER. You have no idea what your partner is like until you are with them 24/7. There is no going home when you get in a fight.

Also, know that both of you will do alot of changing. TRUST ME. You're both going to grow & mature together so you may not be the same guy you were when you married and she may be a different woman.

You should discuss how you are going to pay rent/mortgage, utilities, car note/car insurance, life insurance, health insurance, gas, groceries, eating out, recreational activties, are both of you going to be in school full time or work full time, how will you pay for school, will you file taxes jointly or seperately, what happens if one of you falls ill, how many kids will you have?...and the list goes on and on.

I don't believe you can be too young to get married, but you can be too young-MINDED to get married. So if you have unrealistic ideas of "we've been through most up and downs as adult couples" then you will be in for a big surprise. Because just when you think you've experienced everything, trust me there is a whole lot more good and bad things that can happen. There's a huge difference between 3 years and 30 years.

I wish you luck in what ever the future holds for you and your girlfriend. Just know that marriage is work. It's not bad work, but it is work to comprimise & understand how to get through things. You aren't ready to get married unless you are ready to fight for your relationship at all costs.

Also, pre-marital counseling is a good start to answering some of those questions. Just having an unbiased 3rd party to mediate a discussion about the rest of your lives is very eye opening.

Answer 3

But you didn't tell us how old you are. Have you lived on your own, supported yourself, paid for your own housing, have insurance and an occupation? Do your own laundry? My-oh-my, you've been through all the ups and downs that most adult couples have been through (yes, that's how it's spelled) in only three years? Let me offer my condolences; it must have been a horrendous three years.

By an occupation I do mean something that has benefits, security and and a salary such that one person can earn enough to keep both of you above the poverty level. Set your sights higher to have kids.

Certainly there are those who married straight out of high school but of all that I know who did that, only one couple remained married. A miserable score. Of course, you can beat those odds because you're in love. All of them were, too.

I also notice that you make a distinction between yourselves and "adult couples." I'm sure you didn't intend to, but a psychologist would find a wealth of information in that slip.

This business of young people living together...eating together...it's shameful! Uncivilized! You should wait until you're old and have children of your own.

Seriously though, you're way too young. You want to sleep with her and bang her every night and that's understandable. But it not only isn't practical, it can screw up your whole future if you don't exercise a bit of restraint. You want a number? I'll give you a number. 24, unless you've completed trade school or college.

Answer 4

When I was 16 I met a guy that I was with til I was 20. I swore up and down that I loved him and that we had experienced and overcome every scenario possible (except pregnancy - thank God!). We were going to get married. Today I can't stand him. Dont know where he is and don't care.

When I was 23 I met a guy I was with til I was 28. Five years of life down the toilet. That relationship was over long b4 it was officially over. I wanted to get married to this one too but it was because of some ridiculous timetable I'd set for myself.

From my own personal experience I'd say marriage between the ages of 16-28 is a huge NO. I can see how I have changed through the years and can honestly say that if I'd married earlier than now I wouldve been absolutely miserable. Its all confirmed now by all of my married (and cheating) friends!

Answer 5

I got married when i was 18, my husband was 21.

I dont feel we missed out on anything. I dont feel that we had any more issues than any other married couple. I dont feel we were destined to be divorce.

We have now been married nearly 6 years. They have been fantastic and i wouldnt trade them for anything,and i wouldnt go back and not get married. We have a great relationship. We both still attend college, have friends, and socialize. We do not have children yet by choice, but hopefully that will soon change.

You have to live your life for yourselves and no one else. If you are ready and want to spend the rest of your life with her. Then the choice is all yours.

There is no right age or wrong age to get married, you will know if you are ready.

Answer 6

I would give it to at least the mid-twenties for the youngest person. 18-23 year olds still have a lot of growing up to do - jobs, maturity, values. That all changes as you get older. Usually, but your mid twenties is when one is ready to say, "OK, I need stability, no more decorating with pennant strings and shot glasses".

Have you gone through the ups and downs of missed mortgage payments due to layoffs, work transfers, pay cuts, infidelity, job loss, miscarriage, etc? Those are some of the real things of life that married couples go through. My mom told me once that you shouldn't get married until you are mature enough to support yourself alone. Good advice when you think about it.

Answer 7

think the youngest should be 18..
even though i still feel that's pretty young... but some couples may be very mature at that age... so maturity plays a big role.
The only thing though.. are you prepared for marriage? With it comes responsibilites.. you should atleast finish High School.. and should have a stable job.. possibly both of you.. and of course.. you need to discuss your plans... like where would you guys live? (if you say, move her in your parent's house... you may not be ready..lol) can you handle your own household? do you know the basics of living on your own (doing taxes, paying bills, getting insurance,mortgage, making bank accounts, you know how to cook basic stuff etc.) or do you always have to rely on your parents? Keep in mind that you will become like the head of your household, so it's important for you to know these things to have a successful marriage... so ask yourself.. are you ready? if you need some time.. give it some more time.. marriage is forever so it's important for both of you to be 100% sure that you are ready for that type of commitment.

Answer 8

No one has the right to judge cause noone has led the perfect life. I waited, and now I wonder what I was waiting for. I consider the waisted time and wish I would have had the courage to move forward.
Set yourself some goals, make sure your spouse doesn't get in the way of those goals and your unity will give you the strength to get through anything. Love does make you stronger!

Answer 9

I would say get married when the younger one of you turns 25 if you can last that long (no kids) then you have a shot.

Move into for a while, you never really know a person until you live with them. (no kids)

Going on vacation and staying together for a week does not count

Answer 10

just wait, you have nothing but time! there is no rush to get married. there are lot's of people who feel this way when they are young, and weather it works out or not im sure they would all tell you waiting won't hurt a bit. they will also tell you in the long run it will be better for you for so many different reasons!!

good luck