You are in a commited relationship with someone and living with them. It is late at night and you are in bed. Someone knocks at the door. Your partner goes and opens the door. It is their friend. They are drunk, so your partner doesn't want to let them leave because they would be driving. Your partner stays in there and talks to them for a while. Then your partner comes back in the bedroom and gets in bed with you. You ask who that was, and your partner says it is a friend. You have a funny feeling, so you ask your partner if that is really just a friend or if it was more. Your partner says they are really more than a friend. They slept together just to do it. More than once. And it wasn't too long before you came along. And you said that you weren't too comfortable with that person being there all night. Especially since your partner leaves for work early in the morning, and you and that person will be there alone. Your partner doesn't care, sleeps and goes to work.
2007-08-17 14:52:44 · 20 answers · asked by poncholock 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd feel just as suspicious as you, because he wasn't honest with you in the beginning. However, he was honest with you, so you have to give him credit for that.
He did the right thing by keeping her at the house, even ask awkward as it was for you, but this also seems to tell me that he still cares about her. He could have drove her home, ordered a taxi, or rented her a hotel, but he chose to let her stay.
There's a chance he is still interested, and there is a chance he is not. I would talk to him about the relationship in a casual, nonintimidating/threatening way to see what he thinks. These things can either strengthen or destroy relationships. I think it all depends on how things are handled.
Be mature adults, and make sure he knows you just want to talk, because you love him and don't want to ruin a good thing by feeling insecure.
Also, sorry to throw gender into the equation, but it's just easier to explain ;)
2007-08-17 15:10:48 · answer #1 · answered by Avillie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friend i know how u are feeling but why not trust ur partner if u claim to really love him/her? you should have checked who that person was instead of staying in bed and getting feedback from your partner, no offence here but from what u wrote it seems u were relying from informations form ur partner about this individual who was spending the night coz of drink problems.
so just be cool and if u are worried about being left alone when partner leave for work, why pass information on that Mr Stranger should leave same time as partner coz by that time the drink might have cleared and he/she could get behind the wheel to where ever home is.
Take it cool, don't worry but it would be wise to keep an eye on ur partner for safter reasons lol.
2007-08-17 15:04:21 · answer #2 · answered by asuoonline 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd feel like I would need to end the relationship. If your partner sees nothing wrong with it, then there is a problem. You have different values. It is inevitible that trouble will ensue and the relationship will end up causing grief and suffering to all involved. This is just the beginning of it.
2007-08-17 15:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your partner has more concern and regards for that other person. Why did you let that person even come in? They still have a thing going on and you are being played like a fool. Its that simple. Ive seen that before.
2007-08-17 15:01:44 · answer #4 · answered by sunearth_moon 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi Girl,
If your partner has been sincere and has tell you the truth , It's not very bad , but tell him " not make it a habit"
Then you young lady there is your chance to rub it in...............
With your best smile tell Her that you know that your Man has sleep with her , that you do not like it but, as is finished, you can live with it ...........
Believe me she will feel **** and will not come at home any longer, She is coming because she is sure that you don't know anything , that your man has hided that from you ....So tell HER........O/K ?
2007-08-17 15:15:36 · answer #5 · answered by J/P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one what he did before you came along no matter WHEN or how long before you came along is past and had nothing to do with you. Number two, what problem would you have with him going off to work and leaving you there with the friend? I don't understand.
2007-08-17 17:02:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect is the key to a relationship and your partner didnt respect your feelings in this matter.
2007-08-17 15:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by mama_grunther 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a good thing your partner is protecting this person from drinking & driving, but, I would tell your partner to call a taxi for this 'friend'........or I'd call the taxi myself.
2007-08-17 15:00:44 · answer #8 · answered by ~Josie~ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you trust your partner there is no issue. If you don't you shouldn't be with them.
It would be irresponsible to let a drunk person drive, regardless of any previous exchanges.
2007-08-17 14:59:32 · answer #9 · answered by looneybin90 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is pretty inconsiderate but so is letting someone drive drunk. She should have stayed up & tried to make you more empathetic to the situation but it is not grounds for divorce or anything. I would confront her & explain your side of things.
2007-08-17 15:03:45 · answer #10 · answered by Vig90 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋