My family was very controlling my husband was very controlling untill recently and I feel like I need to do something very extreme to feel like I have control over my life. I want to do drugs or drink or something. Is this normal? How can I stop feeling this way?
thanks!
2007-08-17 14:23:44 · 9 answers · asked by lovehawaii_23 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It took courage to ask this question and I can appreciate it. The majority of people were understanding and helpful too.
It is very normal to want to 'act out'..that's why it's called 'act out'....But, act out what? Acting out is only One way to break out of the rut; and, with drugs and the drug alcohol, it is a very self destructive way.
We are doomed to attract to ourselves people, places and situations that will re awaken our original conflicts; IF we didn't or couldn't master them, the first time around. That is all that has happened here. And, it appears, your bucket got full. Think of your bucket as a 55 gallon drum, and controlling issues and people and their tactics (and ways that they make you feel) are like liquid....And it one day fills the drum and spill over -- this is the need to act out !!
As posted, find a therapist to guide you through this maze.
2007-08-17 15:41:51 · answer #1 · answered by Bill S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure whether this is normal, but keep in mind that drugs will only consume your free will more. Drugs will rule your life if you let them. Don't do them.
As for how to stop feeling like you need to do something dangerous, maybe you could try to conjure up some 'Me time'. Devote 30 minutes of the day to do whatever you want; read, write, daydream, meditate, pray, whatever. And, if possible, set up a room of your house (or at least a corner) that is just yours. Decorate it how you want, put things in it that are yours and that no one else can use. If anyone disturbs you, try to calmly but forcefully explain that if you don't get some time and space to yourself that you will get angry that you have no life of your own and end up getting a divorce or breaking something or exploding. If they don't leave you alone, bend to their will, then randomly become enraged some time later. If they still don't get it, take a vacation at a hotel for a weekend or so untill they realize what they've missed.
2007-08-17 21:34:50 · answer #2 · answered by Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doing drugs or drinking is not gainning control you are still giving your power away. If you want control you have to TAKE control and not give your power away. It's hard I know, go talk to a counselor, I did and I finally can be my best friend and make decisions that people tell me they don't like and because I have control I don't have to give in to their criticism.
You can do it, but you have to DO...
Good Luck~
ps it is normal to feel this way, but it will not fix your situation to "get crazy" for the sake of rebelling
2007-08-17 21:34:25 · answer #3 · answered by *blah blah* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sad to say, it's very normal and very common. Been there, done that, myself. There's plenty of books out there explaining it all. The best thing to do according to everything I've read and my own experience is to rid your life of 'toxic' people. Then learn to understand why they act the way they do and why you react as you do. Learn to recognize toxic people and be cautious. There's a weakness in you that you need to find and overcome or the toxic ones will continue to be attracted to you and you to them. It's a long and very difficult road but it beats the alternatives and the end result is a life worth living (free of all intoxicants, human and otherwise). All the best.
2007-08-18 02:18:05 · answer #4 · answered by reclusive extrovert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal because you are looking for an escape. Gotta tell you, drugs arent really the way because they will take you down. If you'll try..dont try the big stuff...you'll get addicted!! Make your own decisions and try to break free of their control. If they're abusive try to get help and talk to a professional therapist or whoever. Its definately normal but it wont get you anywhere good. Please hold on and dont give in!
2007-08-17 21:31:22 · answer #5 · answered by curtismayfield? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try for something a little less self destructive to prove to yourself that you have control.
what have you always wanted to do but never did?
Drugs and drinking aren't going to help
2007-08-17 21:33:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How dumb, you do drugs, and then the drugs will control you. Who has ever heard of the crack head who has it all together. Or the coke addict who's got life in the bag.
If you are old enough to have had a husband then you are old enough to take this........................
That has got to be the stupidest thing that I have ever heard.
For you to get on here insinuating that somehow drug use is the key to freedom, and you know that there are several impressionable children on this sight. You should be ashamed of yourself. You are already out of control.
2007-08-17 22:12:32 · answer #7 · answered by pure conscience 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No. drugs and drinking never helps. What you need is affect Management counseling, which will teach you ways to deal with stress.
2007-08-17 21:31:36 · answer #8 · answered by JESSICA G 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't do those things you mentioned. you will just start more problems for yourself. taking control of your life is to start standing up for yourself. you can never be happy if you will allow anyone to control your life for you. sometimes we are victims for we "allow" people to have a hold over us, our emotions, our life. love yourself and fight for your right but don't harm yourself in the process. don't turn to vices for they're just temporary and will just make you miserable.
2007-08-17 21:45:24 · answer #9 · answered by Lola 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋