My stepmother says that my mom is supposed to only use the money for me and what I want. My Mom says that it goes to help cover my day to day expenses along with clothes and school supplies and stuff. But my stepmon thinks since my mom smokes ciggarets that shes using all the mony for them even though I have what I need. this came up because everytime i go to the store with my stepmom if i say i like that shirt or that purse is cute my stepmom says THATS WHAT CHILD SUPPORT IS FOR!
2007-08-17 14:10:46 · 24 answers · asked by amburglur 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thanks for all the great answers will b hard to pick a best! I wish my stepmom could read this!
2007-08-17 14:33:20 · update #1
and when my mom & dad split he didn't pay CS till i was 11 they broke up when i was 2. my mom wayved back CS said it was not fair and my stepma used to be really nice to me when i visited n now after CS she isn't
2007-08-17 14:44:28 · update #2
Well I am certainly glad to hear that I am not the only one that sees things the way that I do.
I have been going through the same thing myself for the past three years only I am the mother so I have been watching it go on with my son.
Your mother is absolutely right and even though she smokes(I don't) and even if she didn't they would see her do something else or buy something for herself and make the same exact comment. It all boils down to your stepmother being jealous or angry about the fact that your father has to send your mother money to support you.
Every time my son goes to his fathers house (which isn't very often) he is reminded in some kind of way of how I get child support and how anything and everything needs to be bought for him out of it. I think it is ridiculous.
Last year when my son asked his father if he was going to pay half for him to get his new school clothes he was told that I was given money every month and that if I couldn't afford to buy him clothes out of it myself then obviously I need to learn to budget better or maybe I should get rid of my car payment. Yeah, I should get rid of my car and start walking because he is a greedy father.
My son is 16 years old and I have never asked for a modification in support and yet he has the nerve to say that. So you see, what it boils down to whether it is cigarettes or a car, it will always be the same thing.
I don't know what the worse part of it is. The fact that it is always brought up or the fact that they actually believe it.
My final comeback for his stepmother that is just so angry about it is this:
If it pisses you off so much then maybe you should of picked a husband that didn't have any kids because my son didn't come along after you got married!!
2007-08-17 14:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by girrl4riverside 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your MOM is right not your step mom. The money doesn't just go to clothes for you but for all the other things you need too. Like food, a roof over your head, electricity,phone, school stuff and so on. There's so much more that your mom pays for that she doesn't get support for. Does she get any health coverage for you? And even if she does do you know how much she has to spend just for one doctor visit? Plus the meds you may need to have, plus she is the one loosing time from work to take you and that cost her money too that he doesn't pay for. What about Christmas, your birthday and any of the events at school you like to be a part of, what about going off with your friends to do things. You don't think child support pays all that do you. Stop listening to your step mom, she's just a trouble maker and she's mad and jealous that your dad has to pay child support. Your mom was probably smoking before she and your dad divorced so how is that different now? Don't let her mess up your relationship with your mom. Your mom will be your best friend in the end if you let her. Tell your step mom to shut up!!!
2007-08-17 21:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your stepmom has her own issues. Honestly this is something that is a sticky topic. I am a stepmom and I have looked into the rules that apply to the child support we pay for my stepdaughter. Child support is to cover the basic needs of a child--food, shelter, clothing--but it's not "free money" that is used to buy the child everything they want. Even orthodonture (braces) and sports clubs are not covered by child support. Basic needs--that's all child support is supposed to cover. And since you do need clothes, yes, child support covers that--but not every outfit you see that you want. Your stepmom's a bit over the top with that suggestion.
2007-08-20 14:23:01 · answer #3 · answered by AllGrownUp 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother, not your stepmother is right. Child support is for everyday expenses as well as providing you with clothes, etc. You live in a house, electricity bills need to be paid, there is the telephone and gas. Food needs to be put on the table. What about education expenses?: If you are well taken care of which it seems you are, then maybe your stepmother is out to make trouble between you and your mother. Take what your stepmother says with a grain of salt. Maybe your mother smokes, but if you are being taken care of then allow your mother the little bit of enjoyment she gets from smoking. She will give it up when she is ready and I think that is a very poor excuse your stepmother is givng you.
2007-08-17 21:25:08 · answer #4 · answered by rightio 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Support is another word for assistance. This is to assist in your child rearing. Think food, clothing and shelter. Think wants versus needs. It sounds like step mom is upset that dad is having to give money. A lady would NEVER talk about a child's mother in front of the child. No matter how wacky she thinks your mom is, she needs to shut it. It makes her look jealous.
So no, you don't get to go to the mall each time. Sorry! And, if your step mom is bugging you, politely ask her to stop saying these things and explain why, or try to avoid going to the store with her.
2007-08-17 22:45:05 · answer #5 · answered by RCJ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey,
Your step mom just resents the child support cutting into what she can buy too...But let's face it, no one really NEEDS designer clothes or handbags so if you can't afford it, it is not a necessity. Cute? Yes. Need? NO.
Your mom does need the money for day to day but considering the cost of cigarettes ($5 a pack or more), you might try encouraging her to quit...Tell her she will be healthier, live longer to see you older with your own family etc....
Print this page to give to your mom:
http://www.heartpoint.com/smoking.html
My son's step mom helped my ex get $10K behind in child support so I have no sympathy for women who deny step kids anything. If you can't emotionally or financially accept a man with a child, then do not date one or marry one! I did it only once, encouraged him to get a blood test and now the guy is no longer paying CS for a child that wasn't his...
Good luck, regardless!
2007-08-17 21:21:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not called child spoiling money. It is child SUPPORT. If ever (god forbid) when YOU get married & have kids - then get divorced and go from two incomes to one and YOU (as the woman) take primary custody of the child ---- then that is what child support is for. It is well known that a man makes more money than a woman.... so when you lose that income & you have the primary responsibility to raise a child - then you have to have the other parents help financially. IT IS NOT TO TAKE YOU ON SHOPPING SPREES!!! your dad can do that on his weekend if he wishes - since he is not the one paying for your primary care. Once you are out on your own & paying your own bills - you will understand that the more people you are taking care of in your household, the more it costs. groceries, electricity, water bill, gas bill, school clothes, school supplies, school activities, daycare (for young kids) after school programs, camps, birthday parties (yours & your friends) i could go on & on.... this COSTS ALOT OF MONEY!!! and i can bet that your mom has been paying this expense SOLELY! The child support is a SUPPLEMENT to your moms income to insure that your NEEDS (not wants) are being met.
bet your stepmom is younger than your mom... am i right? lol... Your mom is a strong woman to take care of you financially from age 2-11 by herself. i really hope you appreciate her
2007-08-18 22:54:43 · answer #7 · answered by Heather Ray 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your step-mom may not truly understand the purpose of support.
Your mother has expenses because you live with her. For instance, if she could live in a 1 bedroom apt without you, but now with you she has a 2 bedroom -- the difference is what you cost her. Generally Child support is supposed to cover about 1/2 of that (and food, electricity, etc.) but not 1/2 of her total living expenses.
It should, however, cover 1/2 of your normal school clothes, normal school supplies, etc.
Nice things like a purse or things like that are not covered by child support -- you are not entitled to these things, but they are a nice luxury.
Likewise, although your mom should stop smoking, she is entitled to purchase luxuries, like cancer sticks, for herself.
2007-08-17 21:48:15 · answer #8 · answered by mj69catz 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Child support is what your mother says it is for. It covers 1/3 of the household bills as well as the cost of putting a roof over your head, cable television, interent, groceries, gas getting you to and from doctor visits/school/outside activities. Your stepmother doesn't know her A S S from a hole in the ground. And in quite a few cases (including my daughter's) child support falls short by about $250.00
2007-08-17 21:57:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes and No.........Child support is used to help pay the child or childrens expenses such as housing, food, clothing, transportation, and so on. My understanding is that since 1 parent has the primary responsability of paying for the child the other parent gives x-amount to help with that. How your mom spends that is really up to her. As long as you have a roof over your head, heat in the winter, clothing that fits, medical tx when needed, food to eat, and transportation then she is using her support to help raise you. I would talk to your dad and let him know that your step-mom is making you feel bad. Child support is an adult issue, and it is NEVER up to the child or children to understand it! You should NEVER have to be involved. Good Luck
2007-08-17 21:31:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋