I have no money of my own except social security check of $750.00 pm. Husband has control of all other income in his name. Bought a $150,000 fishing camp without my knowledge in his name. He pays the bills for our home but I have to buy any cleaning supplies or food that I would like. We do not sleep together and barely communicate except for generalities. e.g. it's hot today!! LOL The reason I am still with him is MONEY. If I would leave I think I would be a bag lady. I have 3 children and 7 grandchildren whom I dearly love and who love me. That is a plus in my old age. I am happy when he is gone to his camp, but no money to do anything.
Does anyone know what my options might be?
2007-08-17 12:32:31 · 16 answers · asked by Sunny Fields 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When he isn't looking, make a copy of the tax returns and go rent a safe deposit box in your name. Keep the tax return there so you will know where all the bank accounts and investments are if he should die. He is very controlling so since you have put up with it for 47 years, no point in leaving now. Get busy with your friends, volunteer, get active in a church, read, play games on the internet, or learn a new hobby. In other words, be happy with yourself and pretty much ignore him. When you go to the store, start writing the check for $10 more than the bill. Then stash those $10 in a safe place where he won't find it. If the bill is $34.45, make the check for $44.45. Maybe you will get lucky and he will die soon and you will get your freedom.
2007-08-17 12:41:35 · answer #1 · answered by Julie H 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
My grandparents divorced after 45 years of hell together.
My grandmother got a good settlement in the divorce so she can live comfortable. She got a 2 bedroom house and money to take care of the basics. She does well on her social security check and she has a place for all the grandkids & great grand kids to come visit. If you husband is a vetern you may also be entitled to some of his pension. YOu have options. Should you not spend the last 15-20 years being happy?? Don;t stay because of the money. Sounds like you don't have any now. He would have to split things with you regardless if they are in HIS name! You're married so its 1/2 yours!!!!
2007-08-17 12:44:39 · answer #2 · answered by tutis000 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all yes there are options, Do not spend any of your money on any of the necessities that is your money.. Don't leave him but start to seek a lawyer for advice, it would be well worth your time. Find out how much money you both have and first and foremost make sure that you are in the checking account too, Look you need to start making sure he gives you more money then what you have, seems like you let him and know he is just use to doing things this way, but you can change things in your favor just start taking that is all you have to do. Go add your name to the checking account if your not on it already. If you are in it then go and take half of the money and tell him that he can handle half and you will handle the other half. You stop spending your money on the food and tell him if he dose not share with you that you are not going to cook for him anymore. Go on strike.
2007-08-17 12:44:18 · answer #3 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are some mean-spirited people here with devious intentions. I liked the suggestions to go out with friends, join a book club, volunteer, etc.
It's never too late for counseling. A lot of men do things not knowing their affect on their spouse. If you speak up, you could be very pleasantly surprised by the outcome. He might be blind-sided by the fact that you don't like to be controlled and left out of monetary decisions, and in general treated badly.
I think you should try counseling before you start stashing money behind his back or hoping he falls out of the boat. I'm sorry people are so mean.
God bless!
2007-08-17 14:08:10 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah Jaye 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
22 years is a big age gap between the two of you and it would be a gamble. Think about it - when you turn 60, she will be 38 and at that time, you both will be put to test, particularly the girl. Everything will depend on the love and bond between the two of you at that stage. If you are confident that the girl is truly in love with you, then go ahead and take the plunge. Good Luck!
2016-04-02 02:50:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, to hear of your problem...make a life of your own, if you can. Do your children know about his behaviours?.. I do not know where you live..but you must be entitled to some of those assets he has...go for free consult with an attorney...now! You are not too old to start enjoying your life and be happy....thank God you have your kids and your grandchildren. Good luck to you!
2007-08-17 12:44:09 · answer #6 · answered by MUMNY 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Pray that he falls out of the boat without his life jacket...
on his next fishing trip.
Seriously, enjoy who you are, and encourage him to leave more often. Dont spend your $ on cleaning and food. Insist that HE give you money for such things....If he wants the house to remain clean....and to eat at home.
Take care of yourself. Remain healthy. The odds are in your favor to outlive him. Keep that precious thought!
2007-08-17 13:09:48 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do nothing, Just outlive him. Enjoy the rest of the family.
Apply for a credit card and use it and let him pay for it.
2007-08-21 10:41:07 · answer #8 · answered by secret society 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce, with a suitable property settlement. You will get access to half the assets and the income. See a lawyer.
2007-08-17 12:50:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
after 47 years I would have learned to live with it by now. I'm sure he holds you in the same high regards. Long story short you know the job was dangerous when you took it.
2007-08-17 12:44:22 · answer #10 · answered by Dr Phil 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋