Am I wrong for putting him out?

Question

We have been together on and off for 8 years. We have 4 kids and i just dont want to be with him anymore. i dont know the reason, i just dont. am i going to hurt my kids? am i doing the right thing? I love him but he does not pleaz me in any way

Answer 1

Try to sort out the problem in some other way ...coz by separating with him u will hurt ur kids.

Answer 2

First you don't love him. How could you possibly say that you love him and he does not please you in any way. Be honest with yourself even though you are not being honest with us. Second okay so you don't love the guy anymore its okay. At least you realize that you don't love him and that you don't want to be with him. Will your kids be hurt. Yeah Im not going to start lying to you now and say they won't. Will they get through it yeah they will. Kids are stronger than we give them credit for. As long as a child sees his/her parents happy and his/her parents spend time with the child and raise the child in a structure life style they are fine. Staying together for the sake of the children is never a good idea and only leads to more resentment not only towards eachother but towards the children also,

Answer 3

You are right by one side as person who find a way to quench the thirst. but... you will not be saticefied by anything thought out in life by anything else as the desires grow like a cancer in our life. At the same time a balance between the desires and saticefaction has to be maintained.
First of all understand that this is not an unresolvable problem.
Here you both need a wise thinking. a wise vision. open mind. Open and sensitive talk for solving problem. If you both need an expert advice like therapist, you must do it. That means: both should need to inquire into it so that to undersatand who is really not Satisfying the other. Then take steps of wise/scientific methods. Don't worry this has solution if you both really need it indeed.
Please... understand if you love him means even if he is not saticefying you he loves you is n't it. If you goes out / You goes out, I promise you, you will not be saticefied Permanently. Because more clearly, satisfaction is an assumption of human mind. But however, your assumption should be satisfied. First understand that why god has created us then understand how to get saticefaction and how to share satisfaction. This needs an expert supervision in your case I think. Because you both need a counselling. It will be solved (Don't think that by oneday). Don't try to do foolishnes by putting him out. That means you are destroying your family setup, your children, your man, your relatives, your society and so on.. Later you will not get any satisfaction and peace of mind. Sure you can solve this within the family itself (If required, you both undergo a counselling).
Good luck!.

Answer 4

if you are to move away from this guy, well yes, it is going to hurt your kids. They will have lots of questions in their minds which you need to answer patiently. Give them their answers as to what is happening and why and they will definitely understand. Remember, that you also need to be happy in life and though its very important to take care of the kids as they have a very innocent mind and heart and they are at a very vulnerable stage in life. Eventually with time, they will understand the reasons and will be fine. Also, with time they will get on their lives and if you do not fend for your happiness, it will be only you who will be in a soup later on. Everyone will get on with their lives and you will be the only one left wiht all the misery later on in life. Hence, if you feel you want to move away from this guy, think about it well and then do accordingly. Along with the happiness of your family and children, your own happiness and peace of mind is also important. If you are at peace and happy within, you will be able to make others around you happy. So think well and act accordingly. Only thing is, explain everything sincerely to your children and they will definitely agree and understand you. Take care and all the best and there is nothign for you to worry.

Answer 5

I would call you a selfish B I T C H!! who doesn't care for even her own children for her personal ego issues!!

Y can you not Leave all your husband, kids and house give a divcorce and walk out - that you will not since even if thats what you want your image would go down in the Society and how would you be able to take your prostitution fees in the form of Alimony and Maintenance rt??

Answer 6

You definitely have mental problems.

You should get psychological help.

You have been with this man off and on 8 years!!! You made 4 kids with him and you are just coming to realisation that he is not good for you???

The fact is you knew all along but chose to live in denial all this time and now you just want to blame everything on him.

Get some professional help lady.

Good Luck.

Answer 7

At one point you obviously loved one another enough to have kids... why not TRY to get back to that point by suggesting counceling or talking it out with him? If you really feel like the only option is to leave make sure to talk with the kids so they understand it's not about them. It's about you and their father. Good luck.

Answer 8

separation between parents can lead to many bad memories in your children. and more if you and your husband usually fights.
If you need to get separate you got to ask your kids for their permission , because its them who will be the most affected by your separation as the love they might be getting now might not be the same after separation making an huge impact on their minds and in many cases children start believing that marriage is a HELL.

Answer 9

yes your kids and going to be hurt, but it's your life. Only you know if you really did the right thing.

Answer 10

yes u r hurting yr kids! & yes 1st find why u want to separate then work on the solution, be calm & have a patience., but yes u have to take in account yrself 1st , then husband & kids. , , dont jump to conclusions!