im wrong but how do i stop myself ?

Question

Further to my Ist Q i have been having this virtual relationship with a single guy on the net for 2 yrs now n i lied to him that im single coz it started with a lark and later i discovered how much i really enjoy conversing with him. Anywayz he has grown to love me a lot and thou he dates other women and tells me about it , he is growing fonder of me by day. Im unable to come clean with him and overridden with guilt from both sides , coz im also being dishonest with my husband who is unaware of this . But somehow despite knowing all the right things to do , im unable to break this connection and daily i spent hours on the net laughing and chatting with him. How do I get out of this ? My relationship with my husband is ok-ok , on a emotional /intellectual/humorous level i click more with my net pal. We dont cyber but do declare our fondness for eachother on chat regularly. Somehow i cannot imagine life without this stimulating exchange daily . Has any1 suffered a similar dilemma ?

see my first q for details about why i started this net friendship in the first place .

Answer 1

I think you need to be honest with your net pal about being married... maybe he will end things with you and it'll be done with. But it sounds to me that it's pretty platonic as long as you don't take it any further and you are honest with all parties involved you should be fine.

Answer 2

Well...it was completely wrong of you to start up this net-relationship in the first place. What the heck is wrong with you? You're married...and doesn't your husband wonder what you do on the computer all day?? Are you that selfish of a person to only satisfy your own needs?

Plain and simple...divorce your net-pal....and if you "can't"...then divorce your husband so he can find a much better wife than you apparently are.

And, you're "unable to break your daily connection"?? Don't you have a backbone...and let alone some morals??

Answer 3

Have you ever met him??? If not, REMEMBER he is talking to you over the net. He could be telling you a line of lies. He might not be what you are imagining. I have never had this problem and I would try my best to stop myself before I got to this situation. But since you are to this point, you need to decide what is the most important to you. You can just talk to him and be friends without a love attachment. Try finding a friend (girl preferably) to communicate with either in real life or on the net. The most important thing to remember is this man is talking to you over the Internet and he might be the worst man in the world so you don't want to ruin a marriage over that. Good luck and I hope you can decide what to do!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`


okay I just checked out your other question. Holy crap how did you stay with your husband after that??? I don't see how you didn't kill him. Well to me, which people might not agree, your husband deserves to be hurt. If he could do that to you especially while you were pregnant, then who cares about his feelings. Just don't get caught up in something that is going to cause you to get hurt. If you like this guy on the net, then you need to really know HIM not the net guy. Then if he is what you want, leave your cheating husband.

Answer 4

Are you getting emotionally satisfied by your husband? From what it sounds like you may not be getting what you need from him so you are seeking it out in other places. Can you talk to you husband about how you feel about your relationship being just ok-ok? If you want to get out of talking to this guy online every night why not spending that time with your husband? A good question to ask yourself would be what would make you happy, being with your husband, or being with someone else? A marriage isn't forever but it also needs two people to maintain it.
I hope this helps, good luck.

Answer 5

It's considered cheating on your husband. Having an emotional affair. I understand having the connection, but in all reality you really should stop. Talk to your husband about what your needing from him and end the emotional affair your having with the man online. Consider changing your ID's on yahoo and your email. It's the first step in saving your marriage. You should give your husband a chance. Chances are..the guy your having the online fling with isn't honest about things either.

Answer 6

You are just relying in a silly illusion and fantasy.I am sure that if you challenge this guy to meet him in person (though i wouldn't go alone)or meet in a public place,you would see how this "magic" would fade in glance.You could solve your problem, but in other way, you could find yourself with another sort of problem.Just wake up and face reality: your husband is there for you in all times, yes you have problems, but if you just make an effort to get over it,you will be closer to him and find more fulfilled in your relationship!

Answer 7

I have had regular chatting partners online that I never met, but nothing nearly this engrossing! If you know what you're doing wrong, and you know how to fix it, the only thing left for you to do is fix it! If you can't bring yourself to do that, there's nothing more I can say.

You need to stop talking with this man, because you are not able to do it without a deep emotional attachment that may or may not interfere with your marriage (partly by preventing you from even wanting to work at your marriage, as Wom said).
You need to tell your husband you are doing this, partly for you, because having him know will discourage you from chatting with this man, and partly for him, because he's your life partner, he deserves your honesty, and he needs to know he has been deceived and lied to for years (though whether it was cheating, I can't say). You need to show that you're wrong by doing the two things I outlined above; otherwise, knowing that you're wrong is nothing but a piece of information. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 8

I'm a dude and i got same crap goin on high school etc... There really isn't much of a problem, but it's more of a private life thing, your friends should never find out about something like this, if they're friends like mine, where they won't ever let it go ya know? But overall it's normal and don't worry no medical crap, just be careful and overall don't rush into sex or anything.

Answer 9

yes/ it easier to be attracted to this other guy, because you dont have to go home and make him dinner, and wash his nasty clothes. you have a relationship with just the good stuff. and having attention from other guys makes you feel sexy. but just remeber what all you can lose if your husband finds out (or both). is it worth it? you could lose everyones respect, and your rep. be careful sweety. i was put in a situation like yours, except the guy knew i was married and we werent interenet buddies or anything, we'd just see each other alot around town, but i stayed away from him because i couldnt do that to my husband and myself (gosh it was hard!!!) esp. when the guys hot. and probably everyone on here is going to get onto you for this, but they've probably never been in this kind of situation and dont know how it feels:)
also, just remeber this guy hasnt seen you when you are sick, or just woke up in the morning looking your worst, or when yu have had morning breath. your husband has and loves you anyway:)

Answer 10

The longer you continue to lie to everyone involved the more people are going to get hurt. How do you know this person you are talking to is being honest with you, you are not being honest with him. I think you need to cut ties with this guy completely, unless your marriage vows mean nothing to you. You may not be having a sexual relationship with this guy, but you are having an emotional one and that is just as bad.