I have been living with a very nice guy for a few years. He is my -friend-. He drives me ape ****, I don't love him.
My mom adores him, thinks he's the nicest guy ever and is constantly whining that he needs to make "an honest woman" out of me. Its almost getting to the point that I want to completely cut off communication with her. I've also considered lying to her, saying I have a girlfriend.
I want nothing to do with any kind of relationships (I'm 26 and have always been like this). If I married him, I'd be even more miserable than I am right now.
How can I get through to her that I don't want to get married without lying to her?
2007-08-17 11:25:10 · 9 answers · asked by witch_cat_meihama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
*ETA*
Correct, we are not lovers.
Also, I tell her every time we talk that I don't want to marry him and I don't want a relationship with him or anyone. I do TELL her, it just doesn't get through to her.
AND, I'm childfree, so threatening her with no grandchildren would be a half lie/half empty promise... ohhh mean LOL
2007-08-17 11:42:42 · update #1
I'm in here as a grandma!! my 2 girls have failed miserably at living with other adults. My son is in a disasterous relationship. I love his little "wifey thingy" dearly, but they weren't ready to get married when her family pushed them into it!
I support the girls right to NOT marry the jerks they are living with or dating. While I have been married for 40 years, I do not recommend anyone get married, and definately do not bring more children into this world and your personal messes!
Your mother needs to shut the ____ up if she ever wants to have you for a daughter again! Marriage is not the end all, be all it is put up to be. If you aren't ready to give up half your life to another human, JUST DO NOT GET MARRIED!
Be brutally honest with her!! If it hurts her feelings, so be it! She will get over it because she is your mother.
Everyone does NOT need a "meaningful" relationship!!!
A mother and grandmother has spoken!!
2007-08-18 05:55:00 · answer #1 · answered by Nana Lamb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and this guy are simply roommates, tell your mother just that. Does she think you're actually in a relationship with him? Lots of people live with roommates, and she needs to look up a definition of a "roommate" in a dictionary. Regardless of the guy, your mom will ALWAYS get on your case about finding a relationship, because every mother wants her kids to be happy, and to many people, relationships is what brings happiness. You have to respect her point of view, but live your life as you see fit. Believe me, I know what you're talking about; my mom and I argue almost every time we talk - she thinks it's time for my husband and I to have kids, and we think that (for several reasons) we should wait and think about it. There's nothing I can do except to keep telling her that it will happen if we decide it should happen. Be patient... she means well. Good luck.
2007-08-17 18:36:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her. You are 26 not a baby! Communication is the key to any relationship, so just tell her the truth, and then tell her to back off, you are not looking for a relationship right now. And tell her that her pushing is not doing anything but pushing her right out of your life.
2007-08-17 18:37:24 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsay G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your friend to tell her that you arent his type and tho you love her like a sister you dont tickle his fancy. He's just your flatmate and a beard to keep the fact that hes gay from his family. He can try and swear her to secrecy. If She likes him as much as she says she does maybe she'll keep quiet. then he's the one lying not you.
Or you could be honest and tell her that you arent going to marry him and that your waiting for Mr Right befor you make that commitment.
2007-08-17 18:40:40 · answer #4 · answered by Te 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I'm assuming that you are living with him as roommates and not lovers, right?
If that is the case, then just tell her you don't want to marry him and you won't marry him; that he is your friend and THAT's IT!!! Then tell her if she ever wants grandchildren she had better lay off.
: )
2007-08-17 18:34:25 · answer #5 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand up to your mother, tell her the truth, and stop letting her live your life. You are an adult... now act like one.
2007-08-17 18:34:47 · answer #6 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can only tell her you are not ready, but that is only delaying the subject. Honest is the key
2007-08-17 18:35:06 · answer #7 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom I dont want to marry him.
2007-08-17 18:39:56 · answer #8 · answered by dpepperdrinker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say, thanks for your input. that is an interesting point of view. and ignore her. what she is doing is disprespectful and damaging to you. unless she pays your bills and feels entitled to manage your life.
2007-08-17 18:53:07 · answer #9 · answered by jaded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋