Why do people break up when they still have feelings?

Question

This Q? is coming from my 6 yr old son, believe it or not. Today we spend a lil time with his father (my ex hubby) and as soon as we arrived home, my son stated "Mommy, I want to be a News Reporter....I want to know "Why........" so here I am postin his Q? It's a way of showin him that even though he is not a News Reporter at this time, his Q? can still be read & answered by millions! I believe he asked this Q? because his lil mind still does not comprehend that two people can still have feelings for one another, be good to one another & yet live separate lives as I and my ex hubby do! Please if you decide to answer this Q? do it using words that a young child can comprehend....I am plannin of readin the answers to him :) thx

Answer 1

Love and caring about someone doesn't mean that they should be married. Sometimes two people can't get along when they are married but can when they are not married. I know that may not make a lot of sense to you now. But I know some day you will understand that.

You are a very, very lucky boy to have parents who are divorced and they can still be friends, care about each other and get along. Many times mommies and daddies don't get along at all after they get divorced and make their children miserable because of it.

So I guess you could even say that they get along and care about each other because they Both Love You and want you to be happy.

Answer 2

Feelings are important but are not the most important reason for two people to decide to be together. It's very important that the two people share the same ideas and want to go to the same places. It's also very important that people treat each other with love. There are two ways people can treat each other, either with love or with power. Although both people may have feelings, if one person wants to have power over the other or control the other in any way, this is not true love. True love gives each the space to be who they are and make their own choices. And so it may be that, although mommy and daddy both love you very much, one or the other of them was choosing power rather than true love in the way they treated each other. The good thing is that people can learn and make different choices next time. Love, the real kind, is worth learning and going through the hard stuff to get to the good stuff.

Answer 3

Sometimes people break up because they fight too much when they are together. This does not mean that they don't have feelings for each other. If you spend a lot of time married to someone, you will always have "feelings" for them, but you may not want to live with them, because you know you cannot agree or get along and if you are together, the fighting will start again. Sometimes people break up because they don't have the same wants or needs anymore. Life is about change. Nothing ever stays the same. That's why you can love someone, but not want to live with them. Because you get along better apart.

Answer 4

There are lots of different kinds of love and sometimes love can change from one kind to another- and it isn't anybody's fault. You can love your pet, your grandparents, your best friend, and your husband/wife. All feel different in your heart. Sometimes when people get married they have one kind of love and as things change in their lives the love changes, too. That is why many people still have feelings for each other but can't stay married. You are very lucky that your parents still have feelings for each other. Your parents seem like very nice people that care a lot about you.

Nice question. I hope this helped in some small way.

Answer 5

When people have feelings for each other, and they break up, it is usually because they cannot get along with each other. Or because they would hurt each other's feelings. Even though they cannot get along with each other enough to stay together, they still have feelings for each other. They just cannot be very happy together all of the time and it makes them sad when they fight. When they are not together all of the time, then they get along better. I know how it is with kids asking questions like that. Mine do all of the time, and sometimes I am at a lost for words to try to explain it to them.

Answer 6

Gosh, how to explain it... There are lots of different feelings you can have for the other person or people. It can be love, respect, sympathy, attraction, empathy, to name a few. it's not enough to simply have "feelings" in order to live together, to be in a relationship - it has to be a particular COMBINATION of feelings. The combination is unique for every couple, so there's no magic formula. So yes, it is possible for people to feel respect for each other, to like each other - and yet to be incompatible in their day-to-day life. This is an excellent question that I don't think anyone can answer for certain - people are very complex!

Answer 7

Good idea. Children absolutely need to be taken seriously.

People break up even though they have feelings for the same reason that they don't get together even though they have feelings. Suppose you have two friends, Jeremy and Adam. You like both of them, but you like Jeremy better. If you had to choose just one, you'd choose him, but that doesn't mean you don't like Adam.

You can like someone a lot, a grandparent or uncle and love them and want good things to happen to them, but not want to live with them.

Answer 8

We sadly are the product of our society. We never learn to think for ourselves. Our minds are molded from what we see on television and read in magazines. We want to be something so different all our lives to the point of passing up every great opportunity that comes along because we simply DO NOT KNOW WHO WE REALLY ARE!!!

Answer 9

People that love eachother break up because they have to move on in life for good reasons. They need time away as maybe one of them is doing something that the other person doesnt like. So they have to split to make things better for eachother. They are basically caring for eachothers feeling more, because they are doing whats in the long terms best for eachother. Hope ive helped. Thanks x :D x

Answer 10

Sometimes when people love eachother they still cannot live together. Just because they have feelings for eachother doesn't mean that they can have a life together....there are too many other parts of a relationship than love.