I'm a crossdresser. Why do I prefer wearing clothes that a real girl has worn over wearing new clothes?

Question

I've been crossdressing since I was a kid. I started off wearing my sister's and mother's shoes etc.. I've been in two serious relationships (both knew) and now my third serious relationship (who also knows). In all of my relationships I've always preferred to wear my partner's clothes rather than wearing new, shop bought, clothes. Now, I know, women HATE their men wearing their clothes but I honestly just feel better when I wear my partners clothes. I'm very lucky in that my partner is OK with me wearing her stuff.

My question; why is it that women hate this so much? Even when a partner is fully accepting of their partner's 'fetish', they generally flip when they catch their man wearing her clothes rather then his.

I'd like to sign off by saying thank you to all who reply. I have been enthusiastically reading lots of people's answers and it warms me to think that there are so many people out there willing to spend their time answering questions online.

Answer 1

It is a violation of our property, unless you ask us first.

If you ask us, we would consider it, I wouldn't mind, some would.

I imagine you like wearing worn clothes because they belong to a female, and you like females. Many men like wearing the unlaundered clothes ladies have worn, and a lot of men like womens dirty underwear.

Answer 2

First the easy question: Why is it that a women will flip out when they catch their man wearing their clothes, even when she is fully accepting of their partner's fetish? Answer: You are taking something that they love, something that they want to keep in good condition, something that is normally considered personal, and taking out of their control and into your control. Don't do it. Its disrespectful. I'm on your partner's side on this one.

Next question: Why would you prefer to do this over having your own clothes? Answer: You have to go back to through the stages of crossdressing to the point you are today. The first stage of crossdressing is being born with the genetics which are predisposed toward transgenderism. The next stage is your impressionable childhood. During your childhood you collected information which determined your attitude to feminine things. You were attracted to woman's possessions because they were soft, or shiny, or otherwise had some positive experiences with them. You might have wished you could have been a girl or how much better girls have it than boys. Then usually in adolescense you have an experience which triggers your crossdressing. You may have started with a single item of your mother's.. All these things leave a deep impression. When you crossdress your brain releases a series of neurotransmitters which produce a sensation of well-being, pleasure, sexual-gratification and self-identity. There are is strong sexual element to crossdressing and you are using your experiences of your youth to help generate the sensation or "high", associated with the act of crossdressing. By using other women's clothes you are also practicing "association" with a female, which may heighten the sexual gratification. Still, its not a good idea. You partner will be better able to support your fetish if you show some respect for her things... You may come to a compromise with your partner by limiting your borrowed items to just things she will let you wear. She will make a list of things that you can never use.. That way she can still maintain some sense of privacy of her personal stuff.

Answer 3

Two questions, two answers.

Why do you like to wear worn clothes? Well, different from what most people think, there is no user manual to crossdressing. Crossdressers are as different as they are many. Some just like to look like a woman, others get a sexual kick out of wearing lingerie, and everything inbetween. So, even though most crossdressing has some sexual undertone, it varies greatly. Some just think it allows them to view themselves as sexy, while others get off on wearing the clothes.
About the worn clothes, my guess would be that you score pretty high as a sex-driven CD. You probably like the way worn clothes make you feel closer to the owner. If the owner is your partner, it shouldn't be a problem in itself. If the owner is your mom, or a woman that you're not having a relationship with, you're crossing a number of lines no decent man should cross.

As for your partner....
If she's totally OK with your crossdressing, it shouldn't be a problem for her to lend you some of her clothes. The main thing is that she want's to decide wich clothes, and to be aware of the fact that you're wearing her clothes.

To sneak yourself into a woman's clothes is no better than taking money from her purse. So, that's basicly what you did wrong. You didn't ask her permission. I know this sounds strange, especially since most men find it quite attractice if a woman borrows their underwear, but invading a woman's wardrobe without her permission is really likely to make her feel voulnarable.

Now, if she does absoloutly refuse to lend you her clothes, three possibilities come to my mind:
1) You are larger then she, so you might stretch or ruin her clothes.
2) She's not as OK with you being a CD as she says, but still want's the relationship to work out.
3) She does not like the idea of wearing her clothes after you had a sexual kick wearing them. That one, I can really understand.

Either way, don't you think it's worth it to respect her wishes?

Answer 4

Although we now have an idea why some men are transvestites and some are transsexuals and some are gay as far as I know nobody has worked out such fine details as to why you want to wear only clothes already worn my a girl or some TVs only wear girls undies or I prefer to wear maid's uniforms. I suspect that while the transvestism is based on the supply of hormones in the womb the fine tuning may well be to do with our early experience in the particular sexual diversion. Like many TV's I suspect that your first attempts were your mothers or sisters clothes and if you had your first orgasm while doing this that may be the reason why you need to go back to already worn clothes. This is not fact just my ideas. I can understand why girls don't like you wearing their clothes. They are rather personal things and maybe they would not like anyone wearing their clothes

Answer 5

Why indeed.

I'm not going to point a finger and accuse you of anything but I'm wondering if it's not just a touch fetishistic.... but the fetish runnilng along side your crossdressing ?

Why do I say this ?

Well I'm basing it on the fact that a lot of shoe fetishists prefer used shoes.... It's to do with the infered intimacy with another human being, you want to wear her worn clothes, because it helps you / makes you feel closer to her .... and thats actually quite nice when you come to think about it.

Good luck with it.

Answer 6

If you started off wear other girls clothes, this is probably your fetish. I would be upset as a cross dresser if my cross dressing lover wore my clothes with out asking. If I know that's what turned them on though, I would have to go out with them and buy joint clothes and put a part of the wardrobe for shared stuff. May be by buying clothes with your partner may get you slowly into the joys of shopping for yourself. Good Luck

Answer 7

As to why you enjoy wearing worn over new clothes, it could be one of a million reasons & a lot of feasable answers are appearing here.

The women going crackers over their man wearing their clothes thing - if my fella asked, I personally wouldn't mind (except the size & style difference!), I'd almost see it as a compliment. But he has a wardrobe of his own & I've bought him a few things towards it in the time we've been together & he's happy with it - so let sleeping dogs lie.

Sounds like you've found yourself a good woman if she 'assists' with your 'thing' & doesn't mind, hope all continues to go well for you both.

Answer 8

I think that wearing clothes that belong to other people without their permission is wrong.

Now, as for wearing clothes that are associated with their opposite gender. I don't worry when my good lady wears my shirts etc because she wants to. She doesn't need to ask permission.

And, as for some of the answers that say men who wear clothes of the opposite gender are crossdressers or transvestites, etc. Why aren't women who do it similarly labelled?

Double standards or what?

Answer 9

Maybe they wanted to wear what you are wearing, or are upset that they'll have to do laundry sooner than they thought, or they think their clothes look sexier on you than on them. I would take it as a compliment and would probably feel sexier myself if my boyfriend wore my clothes. Have you asked them why it bothers them? What did they say?

Answer 10

Go for the sex change and after a while you can look how you want. IT is quite expensive though...this sort of thing is on the televsion all the time.. try to find some tv specials on it.