I was talking to my friend about a particularly bad time I was going through with money. I couldn't afford a house payment so he offered to let me borrow $1600.00. I accepted. This was in December.
I was going through a divorce and this guy cares about me a lot. I care about him too but then I wanted to work on my relationship with my ex so I got back with him. I kind of let the money slide and didn't pay him back at all. I didn't tell my husband about this.
In June, my friend gave up on getting money back from me and asked to make it a gift. I told him no, I would pay.
He emails me in August and told me that I need to pay him back because its ruining our friendship. I guess I said something about buying a WII in front of him. He said I was taking advantage of him. I got really offended and told him to never talk to me again. I felt like he was taking stabs at my character as a person.
Anyways I sent $50.00 and said no need to contact me anymore and he sent it back ripped up.
2007-08-17 09:44:39 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
This is why I never loan money (of consequence) to friends or family, without considering it a gift in my mind. Because all too often it doesn't get paid back and the back and forth ruins the relationships.
Sounds like the guy was sweet on you and you took advantage of him, whether you realized it or not.
Could you get sued? Sure. Anyone can sue you for anything in small claims court. Does he have a case and might he win a judgement? You bet.
Are you a jerk? Sorry, but yes.
I think you owe him another attempt. Send a kind note explaining that you feel responsible for how the relationship has soured, that you made several mistakes, and you shouldn't have asked him not to contact you any more. With that note, include whatever you can afford to pay back. Continue paying back when you can, but don't make any promises of payment that you might break later.
2007-08-17 09:56:59 · answer #1 · answered by Uncle Pennybags 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you were being a jerk when you sent $50 for a $1600 debt and told him not to contact you any more. You should tell your husband that you borrowed the $$ from a friend and the both of you need to pay this man back. Thats what responsible adults do.
You should have sent the $50 with a letter thanking your friend for the kind help, and explain that you will pay him $50 or more weekly until the debt is paid. Cancel your cable tv and cell phone and use this $$$ to repay your friend. Your friend was correct at taking a stab at your character, you don't go out buying stuff other than food when you owe friends $$. If he borrowed $$ from you and did not pay you back, wouldn't you be upset. Now go do the right thing.
2007-08-17 09:59:25 · answer #2 · answered by Charles S 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, yeah, you were a jerk. He was nice to loan it to you, and very nice to offer to make it a gift. But you twice promised him that you would pay it back, but you never made any effort to do so. If your promise had been important to you, you would have put off any luxury or non-essential purchases until you paid him back, and you should have made your debt to a friend your first priority. He had every right to "stab at your character as a person," because you had already proven that your "character" was deceitful - you made promises and didn't live up to them.
Ethically speaking, what you ought to do now is save up the entire amount, put it in cash (he'll rip up a small check on principle, but not a wad of hard cash), and hand it to him with your sincere apology. I doubt you can save the friendship, but you can save your dignity and self-respect.
2007-08-17 11:24:30 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow your friend helped you in your time of need - you didn't pay him back. He then told you to think of it as a gift and you said you would pay him back - but you didn't. Finally he tells you that this is affecting the friendship and you still don't pay him back. To top that you send him $50 bucks as a slap in his face because he told you that you haven't kept your promise. Wow I am shocked that you even thought of sending him any money at all. Just remember what goes around come around. Thank God you are not my friend!!!!!
2007-08-17 09:55:00 · answer #4 · answered by Michael K 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He LENT you 1600 and you paid him back 50.
If you were in his shoes, would you prefer 1600 or 50?
If you need help answering that question, then you do not deserve him as a friend.
PAY HIM BACK the money, and the interest you owe him.
2007-08-17 09:54:17 · answer #5 · answered by itchybubbles 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can he sue you?No.It sounds like he was trying to buy your affections,but you should try again to pay him back when he cools down a little.Lets face it,both of you were taking advantage of each other.You are going to have to look into your own conscious for the answer.Tell your husband about this or your relationship is going to be pretty rocky.
2007-08-17 10:06:24 · answer #6 · answered by james m 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask him will he take property instead of money. He could
take you to small claims court to recover the money but he
probably would only do that as a last resort. Maybe you can
ask him to clean his house once a week for four consecutive
months instead of money. You might could ask him that.
2007-08-17 10:01:24 · answer #7 · answered by Brian Sanders 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pay him back. You should have paid him back originally. If he is ripping up checks, that is his prerogative. But, honestly, I would NEVER borrow money from a friend for this exact reason.
2007-08-17 09:56:17 · answer #8 · answered by thejenmartin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we already answered this. take our advice and stop posting the same questions
2007-08-17 09:48:11 · answer #9 · answered by Fit 4 A King 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are SCUM - pay him back.
2007-08-17 09:48:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋