Frightened...?

Question

...I have been split up with my ex for months now. He has not paid anything towards our mortgage and has left me in severe trouble with money.

He refuses to sign over the house and my offer of additional borrowing from Natwest to buy him out runs out next week.

I had agreed that he could take my car, which is on finance, but the finance company have refused to transfer ownership because of his really bad credit rating and they have told me now that I cannot hire, lease or sell the vehicle to any third party without their express permission.

He has gone absolutely mental at this nugget of news and is now refusing to sign point blank! I lose everything next week and cannot believe he is being so awful.

Is there anything I can do to force him to sign over legally? I am just so frightened now and just feel like either killing him or me!

He says he would rather see the house repossessed than let me have it now. It's not my fault he has bad credit! How long does this take?

Cheek...

The house is in joint names. The car only came into the picture because he asked for it - I thought I was doing the right thing in saying yes. I just wanted him to sign so that I coule be rid of him and his awful brand of abuse and to be fair, I would have promised almost anything never to have him darken my door or life again. I made a mistake and I'm sorry for that. I have no fight left. I do this all on my own and don't really have anyone to turn to. He wants the money and the car but I can't release the money until he signs as Natwest won't give me the money until his name is off the deeds. For the sake of five thousand and his promising to sign for months, I could lose it all. It is now too late for me to obtain yet another loan to pay him off before next week. The money from Natwest has to pay off many other things too and I because I am now in default on so many things I cannot get credit from anyone else. A bit stuck, so don't judge me!

Log Book me and Finance me.

I will instruct my solicitor to act differently for me first thing on Monday. I have no money to do it now! So far, my solicitor has only had to act in a conveyancing manner. I guess now it gets all horrible...more horrible than it is now. I don't think I can face it all! :-(

Not married. I have two kids from a previous relationship here with me now. He wants to force sale of the house but won't act upon it - leaving me to suffer and wonder when Natwest are going to come in and take this house. I can't afford it all on my own at the moment until everything is consolidated with the additional borrowing. Then I can, but I can't call the money down until he signs! I don't want to sell and can't understand why he simply won't settle and let me stay here with the kids. Horrible man. I need five grand PDQ! I think if I waved it under his nose, he may crack.

Not married. I have two kids from a previous relationship here with me now. He wants to force sale of the house but won't act upon it - leaving me to suffer and wonder when Natwest are going to come in and take this house. I can't afford it all on my own at the moment until everything is consolidated with the additional borrowing. Then I can, but I can't call the money down until he signs! I don't want to sell and can't understand why he simply won't settle and let me stay here with the kids. Horrible man. I need five grand PDQ! I think if I waved it under his nose, he may crack.

Answer 1

Get a Solicitor involved NOW so that certain injunctions etc can't be brought into force.

Answer 2

OK, lets look at this logically.

Who mortgage is it? Is it his? If so then the house is his to do as he pleases and is under no obligation to provide you with free accommodation regardless of situation, any lawyer would tell you this.

Your car is on HP and you gave it to him? Your in the wrong and should have sought permission first because the car, again is technically not your but the finance company's so you have fluffed it on Two counts.

All I can say is this is the real world and you need to wise up and your solicitor isn't going to be very impressed and I would be surprised if you can get one to act upon your behalf because of the way you acted.

This is your wake up call girl, something you should have done on day one, seen a solicitor just to ensure that you have your end of the deal looked after but the bull has bolted and you want to shut the gate....

Additional: Not judging but wake up time. If this goes to court then you will face allot worse than you are now as any half decent solicitor would make this issue.

The only thing you can really do is to enlist the help of a solicitor that is sympathetic to your cause, a well crafted letter to get him to sign is what you need. Is your name in the log book of the car? Whos name is the finance in? Your may need to enlist a baliffs to repo the car.

Also I would call a solicitors NOW not on monday, most solicitors operate a 24 hour service and you could try to get some advice now. I didn't waste a second when I found my EX was cheating on me.

Answer 3

I'm sorry I have no professional advice but to contact Citizens Advice bureau tomorrow and get a solicitor involved. You may be entitled to legal aid so don't leave it any longer. Good luck and I hope the idiot's #*%*$ falls off. Good luck anyway and I hope it works out for you. Don't worry too much though - there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and what seems really bad now will sort itself out. Just be strong, don't let your feelings let you hit rock bottom and you'll be ok. P.S. I'm not a solicitor but surely if the mortgage is in joint names shouldn't he legally be paying half? There's a lot you need to sort out and fast. All the best.

Answer 4

If the mortgage is in both your names, one of you must buy the other out by mutual agreement, or you must sell the house. You can delay foreclosure as long as you can keep up payments, but every payment of principal you make goes 50% of equity to him. It is most economic for you to force the sale of the house, even in the current crappy mortgage environment, sell the car, settle with this guy and never see him again.

It is futile to ask, when others may have a grudge against us for emotional reasons, why they do not just do what we want. If a person has it in for you, for whatever reason, and you have joint property, for whatever reason, the other party will make your life hell until you get what can out of it and get away. The amount one gets will be lower the more one fights in court. If you cannot buy him out, and he will not buy you out, put the house up for sale. He cannot stop you if he is not paying. His credit already stinks, and if you let the mortgage company foreclose, yours will too. Tell the mortgage company you have to sell.

Answer 5

Suggest you contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau urgently. He can force sale of family home and yes the H.P. company do not have to transfer finance. You can hand it back but you would be liable for any shortfall when car is re-sold.
He is being very foolish by knocking back your offer to buy him out because if house is repossessed you rarely get market value and his share would decrease - sometimes this is fairly dramatic and is dependant upon equity in property.

From his point of view if he's not going to accept your offer he should agree to put property on the market but he should remember that there will be selling costs involved.

I sympathise with your situation and you would be best to cut your losses and be rid of this rat ASAP.

Answer 6

Are you married? Do you have Children?

I take it that you are in UK. You must get a lawyer ASAP or sooner. He will tell you what you must do to get to a point at which you can sort out the mess you have got yourself into. I take it the mortgage is in joint names so that if you want to sell up he can I understand be forced to sign. I am fairly sure you will get legal aid but you will have to pay at least some of it back when the house is sold. Maybe. but you are on a hiding to nothing if you do not get good advice now.

Answer 7

First of all you can get a protection order against him and he will have to stay away from the house 2 that will give you an upper hand with the mortgage company,they can not refuse you for he does not reside in the home,your not married so this should not be a problem,do not give him your car you are only feeding his ego.I will keep you in my prayers Lisa

Answer 8

first i would see my solicitor,see what he says then go to the housing and put your name down...you will be entitled to legal aid...dont give him your car its him being the dick !!...its really his problem he has a bad credit rating now you two are apart..i cant see how you will lose everything,i think you may lose the house this late on but now you can start fresh if you have any money left from the sale of the house ,can you put that down as a deposit for another or maybe best to rent,,,i dont know how old you are but if thats any use to you,,do that....solicitor first tho !!

Answer 9

Your poor thing. I know this kind of situation only too well myself. Get a solicitor. I am sure you dont have to pay in your situation. Go to the citizen advise bureau and if you have the room get a house mate. I know it is not ideal but If it helps to sort you out financially it will be worth it. it doesnt have to be forever.

It is an absolutely horrible situation to be in. I will never understand why some people behaves so nasty when they split up instead of behaving like adult.. Good luck sweetie. Let us know how you go.

Answer 10

Honestly I don't know exactly what to tell you, i just read your story & wanted to say that I'm sorry & good luck. The oonly thing I could think of really is that if he is driving around in a car that is in your name take it back 'till he signs. If he won't give it back, report it stolen. Don't lie to the police or anything, but if he's using your car without your permission that's stealing.