What is your definition of the "right" woman?

Question

Hi,

What i'd like to know are different viewpoints on this.

I happen to be involved with 2 different woman. They are both beautiful (to me at least), both can be understanding and wonderful to be around.

But they are different personalities.

One has children, the other doesn't.

Ones more aggressive, ones more submissive.

I've known them both for alittle over a year now.

And they both believe in marriage, as I do.

But, both appeal to me... I care about them both. So i'd like to know if you had to pick the right one, what would you pick as the most "important" aspects in a relationship to define the right woman. (Taking in consideration the you possibly love both equally, and they love you, but just can't decide which)

Hope that makes sense... thanks!

P.S. I don't have any children of my own, and never have (i'm 38) but do love them.

Hi, and thanks for all the fast and informative answers so far. As for me, i'm mostly submissive (sensitive - to the thoughts and understanding of my partner), but aggressive (when I need to be there for them also, for guidance.) Me= 60% =submissive 40% aggressive

I enjoy the conversations with both, though the one with kids and more aggressive tends to complain alittle more about things (more negative) than the other. But I sympathize with her, she has a tougher job.

I'm not a control freak, they have their jobs and lives and I understand that, though I do love attention, especially the unexpected kind. Like a little text saying "How's your day?", as I do also.

Mainly looking for the different points of what you would think would be important to say thats the right one :) as many of you have posted...thanks again very much

P.S.S. no, they don't each other personally, just know each exist in my life. The more aggressive one does not like the other at all. The submissive one is more understanding of the existence of both of them in my life, but wishes for it to be just one. Which I understand...

Answer 1

first chose do you want to be a father role for the child if not then the one without a child

Answer 2

I think a lot depends on your personality too. Would you have a hard time standing up to a more agressive woman or would you enjoy her being fiesty? Are you such a control freak that you could make a submissive woman crazy trying to please you or do you value that in a woman and still want her to be herself? Are there going to be issues with the one who has kids (like her ex or disagreements about the role you will have in their lives) There are so many things to ask here? I'm sure both women are great but how could one know which is the right woman for you

Answer 3

This sounds like the scenario with Mandy Moore in the movie 'Because I said so'.
I like submissive personalities. But it's because I'm the aggressive person in my relationship.
The idea of sharing your first child with someone is priceless. Being with someone who has kids is fine, but there's a lot of drama that comes along with that. Can you handle that? What kind of relationship do you have with her kids now? Obviously, you have to make the ultimate decision. But you should pick one of them and let the other be.

Answer 4

The only advice that I can give you was told to me by my Grandfather. He said every relationship needs a rock and a kite. The kite is the person in the relationship that is easier going more laid back and free spirted the rock is the person that keeps the kite grounded. If you have both in a relationship the rock will learn to be more relaxed and the kite will learn responsibilty. You first have to decide if you are a rock or a kite and then decide which lady friend is best suited to you.

Answer 5

It depends on you. Do you like to talk a lot or no. Are you very aggressive or submissive. My husband and I are getting divorced because of those differences and more. I like to talk and he doesn't I like to aggressive and he doesn't I like to have more fun than clean all day he would rather clean all day. It just doesn't work you have to pick someone that would be comfortable all the time.

Answer 6

for me,the right woman should be;

-understanding of her man,faults and all
-accepts the whole of he is,was & will be(including baggages in the past that he had lived with all his life & wanting to let go but don't know how)
-doesnt nag,demand or even complain about her life & their relationship unless theres a need to do so in which open communication will play a part
-patient
-never makes a fuss about finances or anything that belongs to the material world;can get by with little or even none
-a good listener but also opens up her views or opinions on things in an honest,down to earth ways without being judgmental
-most of all,LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY!!

hope this helps

Answer 7

As a woman I would say that I think that the woman that u could have in ur life as a wife,girlfriend or as a friend is the one who is honest , is there for u in every little problems of urs , in ur happiness and if u r going through rough times she should always have ur back no matter and that what a wants from their mens also

Answer 8

If you are able to split your time and be with both of them for over a year, then neither one is the ONE. I think you know that in your heart. Now if you are willing to settle on a woman that's a good woman and a good partner, then it sounds like either one is a good choice. Good luck.

Answer 9

Are you famuliar with the lyrics,"Nature Boy" Nat King Cole?
"And this he said to me the greatet thing he said to me, 'Is just to love and be loved in return." In the ancient world of
1952, I dated a non-commitial fella four years, as a revolving door, One night he told me of another and he said, "I don't know who needs me more you or her?" To this day, I don't know where out of the blue my answer was, "Shouldn"t the
question be who do you need most?" My own words awed me and I had an over whelming feeling I would never see him again, I didn't! And it freed me to marry a fella that loved me,
till death we parted, 45 years. You can't have your cake and eat it too, There is no perfect woman or man!!!! There is LOVE. Yes it makes sence, Your what's called a dancer!!!!
Make a choice!!!!

Answer 10

You already know,I think you just like variety.I f your in love with one of them then you have your answer....If your not you might be playing with their emotions,an someone's gonna get hurt.So do some soul searching .As far as the one w/kids that could be a problem down the road,so you really should think this out. Good luck

Answer 11

In my opinion, knowing as little as I do about the situation, you love neither of them. If you did, you would not even have to consider choosing one over the other. There would be no question in your mind what so ever. You may like them both, and find it convenient to be with them, but love? I think not.