No love and care when growing up, neglected, seen everything negative going around, crying every night that someone should hear you out, hpw unhappy you are, missing you mother and her affection, whom you lost when you were 10. Cant these things develop you into someone you never wanted to be? Who is to be blamed here? People say all the time think positive and not negative. Yeah that is right, hut what if a child has been through all negative situations. Then in the end the person to be blamed is the person who goes through all this? This isnt fair.
2007-08-17 08:37:06 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Our environment has strong effects on our personalities. It all comes down to the whole Nature vs Nurture debate. It is a very difficult thing to overcome childhood tragedies and any negative experiences because we did not choose them for ourselves. What I mean is that once we become adults, we can decide what we want to do for work, who we want to date, and whom we choose to associate ourselves with. If someone chooses to become a stripper then ends up hating/being cynical towards men because of it, they have actually chose their own fate.
I am sorry that you have had to experience such pain in your life but there comes a point when you just have to let it go. Easier said than done, right? I suggest seeing a therapist. perhaps by reliving your childhood, you can finally let go of the pain attached with those memories.
I don't think anyone can ever fully get over the loss of a mother but do you think she would want you to go through life suffering or to live it to the fullest?
Good luck to you and God bless.
2007-08-17 10:07:20 · answer #1 · answered by ANGELA D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the more unhappy a person is the more happiness they will be able to know.Darkness is only the daytime sleeping.at night all things are still in the shadows.Love is the sunshine that enables us to see the bright colorful details that the darkness hides.Although some nights seem long and endless there is no doubt that the daytime will come because you cannot have one without the other.Its hard to be positive about what you see when gazing into the night.There is however nothing like a beautiful sunrising
2007-08-17 09:05:57 · answer #2 · answered by savage_14u2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God, I know what you mean. My childhood was full of abuse and recriminations (like nothing you do is good enough). It is very hard for me not to be negative. And no, I'm not the person I want to be or think I could be.
But, I'm doing the best I can. I'm getting therapy and taking meds. It's hard for me to accept myself for who I am today, but that's really all I have to work with, and the same is true for you.
You need help confronting and dealing with your childhood so that you can move past it. You can still blame the people in your life who did you harm, but only you have the power to change your life. I'm not saying it's easy. When you are unhappy and lonely, it is very difficult to change things.
And no, it's not fair. It wasn't fair for me or for you or for lots of other people. We have to learn to live with that. I'm still working on it.
A lot of it is just having faith that you will get through one day at a time. Good luck on you way!
2007-08-17 08:57:19 · answer #3 · answered by D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life experience and environment play a huge role in shaping one's personality and morals. However, some situations call for one to set aside their principles in order to accomplish an overall goal. That does not necessarily mean completely overhauling one's own personality, but it nevertheless learns to adapt to differing situations.
2007-08-17 08:51:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i could stay yet tell him which you relatively choose to get married in spite of his job difficulty and which you do no longer care approximately ring length. additionally, tell him that its your and his determination, no longer your households, so no rely in the journey that your loved ones could be chuffed or no longer is beside the point. All of his excuses are EXCUSES. call him out on them and tell him that he promised he could have proposed by ability of now and he hasn't. Confront him. If he admit you're top and proposes in a month or 2, super. in the journey that your war of words does not replace something, then i'm unsure what you need to do. sturdy success EDIT--do no longer pay attention to what others might say... giving up your virginity won't replace something, and having intercourse does not tutor your love. It in basic terms proves your prepared to provide up your individual very own morals (notice--i'm no longer asserting its top or incorrect to have intercourse in the previous marriage; i'm in basic terms asserting that if on your that is in my opinion incorrect, then do no longer do it). Withholding intercourse till marriage can be giving him an incentive to marry, and in case you provide up your virginity he may well be waiting to locate much extra excuses (that's in basic terms a threat; i'm particular its befell). Who knows. If he does not choose to pay attention on your sound reasoning, you have 3 ideas: a million) recommend to him your self. you do no longer might desire to await him to do it. he will understand your severe in case you legitimately do it, and optimistically which will paintings out. 2) Threaten to go away/in basic terms go away. he will the two see the blunders of his techniques and ask you lower back and then recommend quickly after (or a minimum of conform to speak extra totally relating to the topics and have self assurance you once you assert you do no longer care approximately each and every of the flamboyant stuff) or he won't, and your extra desirable off devoid of him if he does not fulfill his provides and retains making excuses. i realize it is not particularly sturdy information, yet those are the only 2 ideas I see besides living the form you're actually and being semi-depressing considering issues are not going the form you will planned.
2016-10-02 13:06:04 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it isn't fair sweetness...and yes, they can destroy your life..from reasons that they could or couldn't help...but the only thing that ever got me through anything, was learning about, loving, and finding Jesus, and God...because then,I knew how to forgive people that hurt me,..I learned that I would see my parent again..I learned that life is special, and that satan will do anything to destroy people out there, to keep them from finding God and Jesus and being happy inside...Sometimes, the hardest most cruel things can make you stronger than the rest of us...listen to your heart, and be who you are...dont put up a front to protect yourself, let God And Jesus do that ....just find Them...they love you....
2007-08-17 11:26:22 · answer #6 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not many people are who they want to be.
Are criminals responsible for their crimes if society turned them into criminals? Its not fair.
You chose to commit the crime, you choose to be miserable. Its tough to hear, but you CAN be happy if you let it go.
2007-08-17 08:41:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋