I had a miscarriage 7 weeks ago, me and my fiance' were devastated. We are now trying to conceive again. Well last night something just told me to look at his cell... in there i found a draft text saying " i thought id offer SWEETCHEEKS, hollback" I confronted him and he told me it was his ex and he was trying to get her to buy an X pill. And the reason he called her sweetcheeks was to "butter her up" so she would buy one. The drug part doesnt affect me as much as the whole talking to his ex... and calling her sweetcheeks at that. I got very mad last night , was trying to leave but he wouldnt let me, nothing physical. What do i do... he says that he wants me. I have 2 kids that are from a previous relationship, he works 50-60 hrs a week just to provide for us. i feel like if he didnt want me, he would be bustin his a$$ to take care of a family that isnt even his. Please give me your advice! My heart is broken!
2007-08-17 08:33:32 · 13 answers · asked by ncbutterfly_20 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Talk to him about it. Your emotions are a mess right now. It is a big deal to have a miscarriage and a lot of stress on you and your relationship. Him being away a lot due to work is hard on you two as well. Sit down with him (don't accuse) and let him know how it makes you feel. Communication is the key. Once you feel that you have lost trust in each other, the relationship will be hard to safe, because it is extremely tough to build that trust again if at all.
2007-08-17 08:38:27 · answer #1 · answered by bonstermonster20 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men really aren't all that smart.
Not being rude, or anything. Just truthful.
He may not have meant anything by the sweetcheeks comment at all. He may have been just trying to butter her up. But honestly, I'd be more worried about the drug part than the ex part.
And even if he is doing a lot to provide for you guys, I think it's best if you wait til you are married to try again, especially if this ex thing is a problem for you.
Hope this helped ya some.
2007-08-17 15:39:30 · answer #2 · answered by ♥LadyC♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset too. Perhaps not the best idea, but call the ex and ask her straight up if there's anything going on, because if there is, she can have him back cuz you don't want him. I suggest you stop trying to conceive for awhile until you get this worked out. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this so soon after a miscarriage. Think about this, too, it was a draft, not sent (if I'm reading it right), so maybe he thought it but didn't send it? or perhaps there are other messages to prove what he is saying? Tell him you want to look through his phone, and do it right then. Don't give him the chance to delete anything. If it looks like he has, he's hiding something. Please take care of yourself and your little ones.
2007-08-17 15:42:19 · answer #3 · answered by oj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell him i don't want drugs around my kids..but hey that is just me :) And the whole sweetcheeks thing...I would be upset too. You have every right to be concerned. I think you should tell him that trying to butter her up doesn't mean he needs to call her that. And out of respect for you, he doesn't really need to be talking to her about random things. He should be there for you more than ever right now, and I think the best way to work this out is to talk to him. Good Luck, I hope everything works out.
2007-08-17 15:43:54 · answer #4 · answered by likeAdove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he was telling the truth. Even if he was, his actions would suggest that his ex may still have an attraction for him and that he is willing to take advantage of that. That would trouble me. I would suggest that now might not be a good time to become pregnant again. You should wait until your body, mind, heart, and hormones have had a chance to recover from the recent miscarriage. And give you time to figure out what he's really up to.
2007-08-17 15:48:07 · answer #5 · answered by Tom K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to think about your situation. Count your blessings that he is willing to work so hard to care for kids that aren't his. BUT I don't like drugs so that would be an issue with me. Either keep your mouth shut & accept what he has to offer or get rid of him & try to find another man to take care of our family. I certainly wouldn't be trying to have a baby with a man who used drugs. Not smart. The "not letting me leave" thing is dangerous. If you were smart you'd leave him and learn to take care of your family yourself.
2007-08-17 15:56:35 · answer #6 · answered by blkmiss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you think he is lying to you then you should leave him because "once a cheater always a cheater", but if you believe that he is not cheating on you then you have to trust him when he says that he is not cheating, that said, talking with an ex is not acceptable and if it bothers you then you should tell him to cut off all ties with her (especially drug dealing ties) and he should have no problem doing so if, in fact, he is not involved with her...i hope this helps!!!
2007-08-17 16:10:46 · answer #7 · answered by Savannah's Mommy! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the drug part doesn't bother you!? why not? it would bug and worry the daylights out of me. true, that he wouldnt be busting his butt if he didnt care about you and your kids, but are you sure he's working or is he dealing? ask him to give up selling X and stop talking to his ex. and why would he want to sell her X anyway?
2007-08-17 15:56:43 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably dont want to hear this but im going to say it anyway. if you have a feeling something is going on and somethings not right trust your instinct, its always right. i know everything might appear to be fine because he is providing for you and your kids, but that may not be the case. good luck with everything and hope i helped
2007-08-17 15:51:38 · answer #9 · answered by aydensmommie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold up trying to conceive until you two work this out or figure out if it can be worked out.
I wish you lots of luck, I would be really hurt if that was my mine too.
2007-08-17 15:42:08 · answer #10 · answered by A***n G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋