Tips for Becoming Straight?

Question

I have a problem. I am a homosexual, but I don't want to be one. Alas, I have tried countless times to become straight, but I haven't succeeded.

Is there anything wrong with being gay? Yes, I think so. Homosexuality is morally wrong; that is what it says in the Bible.

I would like for the people reading this to make a list of tips for becoming straight. I've already tried many things to make myself straight, but maybe you know something that I haven't tried yet?

Answer 1

The only thing that will work is to simply go back to being a fertilized egg and develop as a fetus again, but this time correct the gene or fetal environmental factor that caused the anterior hypothalmus of your brain to develop into the female sexuality configuration.

Carly Beth - you are a very kind and charitable woman, but I don't think it will work. Thanks for the laugh though!

Answer 2

Despite the assertions of some kinds of people -- you can't become straight ---- you are what you are. its not a choice -- homosexuality is natural, and probably genetic. (See Dr. Bruce Bagemihl; Biological Exuberance; St. Martin's Press for hundreds of examples of animal species in which exclusive homosexuality can be found and traced -- so yes, it really is natural)

As for the Bible. If I wanted to respect and believe as perfectly inspired a book that says that the earth sits on pillars (I Samuel 2:8) and is established UPON the waters (Psalms 24:1-2); that says that locusts and grasshoppers have four feet (Leviticus 11: 21-23) rather than six and that bats are birds (Leviticus 11:13-19) then I might think about its words. If I thought that almighty God would not know how to figure pi, as the Bible authors could not, and proved quite clearly (I Kings 7:23 and 2 Chronicles 4:2) then I might even respect what the book had to say. If I was less amused about the fact that the god of the Bible cannot do simple math, as is shown over and over (for example, count the Levites in Numbers 3:16-39 -- you will find that there are 300 more Levites when you finish adding than the Bible says there are. Errors like this are all over the place.) then I might believe you when you say that homosexuality is morally wrong.

I on the other hand know that historically the Bible was not even canonized until 397 at the Council of Carthage, when it approved a resolution of the Synod of Hippo from 393. I know that there are no originals of the books in the Bible -- and that there were no originals at the time it was canonized -- the idea of the Biblical autographs is a joke that even some Biblical apologists admit to. I know that the books were determined by a vote of (Roman Catholic) bishops. I know history (you can too -- try reading the "Oxford History of the Christian Church" as a good starting place) and I know that the basis of the Christian faith was, not the Bible, or a set of writings starting with the Torah -- but rather faith in God and Christ, love for one another, and Eucharist. So, no, I don't take what it says about homosexuality seriously. It is, sadly or not -- myth.

You have no choice about what your sexuality is -- but your self-hatred, based in a misapprehension of religion may yet prevent you from seeing that a while. You do have a choice about what you do with your sexuality however. You can be whole and loving and happy -- or you can be empty and live a lie for your life. That choice is up to you.

*hug* I'm sorry you hate yourself, more sorry than you realize that a negative form of religion is harming you. I've put some links below that may, or may not help.

In the meanwhile, you are loved, you are wonderful, believe in yourself. Feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]
http://www.rebuff.org

Answer 3

All I will offer is that you should spend a little quiet time reflecting on what and who you are. You have several options here. One is to continue to try to live a "straight" life in denial. Many people do that. Rarely is it completely successful, and it often leads to markedly worse problems later in life. But try if you must.

One is to remain completely celibate and avoid all sexual contact with anyone. Then you don't have to decide or struggle with yourself.

THe third is to accept who you are, what you are, how you are, etc. and begin to live an open, happy, satisfied life. A life that is not full of denial, lies, deceit, and hurt from self. This choice will have the best outcome for your happiness and piece of mind, BUT IT MAY BE THE MOST DIFFICULT CHOICE TO FOLLOW.

I will not offer tips to be straight, because there are no such animals. I offer a prayer that you can be happy, whatever decision you make.

One last thing to remember and I have stated this here before.

1) Above all else.... to thine own self, be true.

2) It is better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not.

Best of Luck dude.

Answer 4

You have at least 3 levels to tackle if you want to try this. First is the obvious, the physical acts. Then there is the orientation issue. You have an emotional attraction to guys, and that will be the hardest to overcome, if it is at all possible. Another level is identification. That includes the labels you call yourself, who you count as close friends, etc. A fourth level would relate to goals in regards to this. Transitions of any sort are not just about getting away from something, but also moving to something. It is not enough to cease being something, but one must also start being something else.

Now, you will get many skeptics who tell you this is impossible. But you will have to be sure of what you want and hang in there until you get it. Don't embark on this journey unless you are sure you need to do so. Make sure you are not trying to please other people, and you are not trying to transition to straight out of some sort of fear or rejection.

If you want to use the addiction model, one would have to look at why they use their substance of choice. One would have to look fo the triggers. Is it lonliness and boredom? Lonliness could be helped with learning better social skills and learning to speak up when you have needs and to ask for what you want. If you are bored, take up a hobby. If it is a need for a sense of community, you can get that at church, in civic clubs, at volunteer agencies, etc.

Another thing to consider is if a person's homosexuality is uncertain. There are straight guys who fear they are gay when they are not. They may be hung up on superficial things. They may have never done "the act" but they still feel like they could be gay. The thing here is to get over what people think and get over any false guilt. Learn that it is okay to be yourself.

Just looking at someone and noticing they look good isn't lust and isn't wrong. It is when you take the 2nd look and start thinking thoughts that it might be a problem. If a person feels tempted, they should avoid the places where they are tempted. If you are a recovering alcoholic, there is no need to go down the street where there are 3 bars. You may feel drawn into such places. Sometimes, just being on the same street, you just meet people who want to buy you drinks or satisfy whatever other temptation, so if you are sincere about not wanting that, then stay away from such locations and away from people who do such things. If you are home and people keep trying to get you to go back, well, you may have to take action. Get new phone numbers and get them unlisted. Take restraining orders or trespass papers on those who won't leave you alone. Make your place uninviting to the old crowd.

As for your goal, don't make your goal to become straight. Make it one of being whole. If heterosexuality follows, that is fine, and if not, well, you've learned better life skills, resolved your past issues, and are better equipped for what life hands you, gay, straight, or bi.

Answer 5

1) Quit becoming aroused by men.
2) Start being aroused by women.

If you can accomplish those two feats, you can move from gay to straight. SInce no one else has done that, you'd be a trailblazer.

Alternatively, you can spend more time in a library reading up on the matter, and less time listening to people who know nothing about orientation.

Answer 6

Honey child, I may not be able to change your opinions, but the fact is that you are gay and there is not a thing you can do about it unless you just accept it. Then go and live your life how you want to. If you don't want to be gay then all you can really do is abstain from sex, but you will always have your thoughts on the same sex. So what, you are sexually attracted to someone who is the same sex. Either don't except it, and try to deny the fact that it is what gets you off, or live with it and carry on with your life.

Answer 7

There, were nothing wrong with being gay, just be who you're.
You don't have to be straight because people make bad comment on you, just forget about those trash, and live like the way you want to be, if you tried to become straight, you might success in the outside not in the inside.

Answer 8

The Bible is the interpretation of Gods word. God made you and you are good. If some narrow minded human can't understand Gods reason for making you, don't beat yourself up about it. Others will do plenty of that for you. Be yourself, God has a very good reason for you.

There are older religions that Christianity grew from (older even than Judaism) that understand and accept Gods creations, even homosexuals. Find them before you get hurt beyond repair.

Answer 9

I'm not gay, but I have had friends that have tried everything from praying to God for weeks on end to shock therapy. The only advice I can give you is to accept yourself--you can lie to yourself and your wife that you are straight, but you'll only make yourself unhappy by denying who you are.

Let me ask you this: In the long run, is homosexuality harmful in any way, shape, or form? Is there ANY proof outside of the Bible that it is "morally wrong?" Think about it. The Bible isn't perfect, and you shouldn't go through an idenitity crisis because three quotes in Leviticus tell you to.

The Bible places more significance on the Seven Deadly Sins that have actually KILLED people, such as greed, envy, and wrath. People have killed because they are greedy, envious, and wrathful--people have BEEN killed because they are homosexual. Christians only place high significance on this "sin" because it is the only one where they can point the finger at someone else and say "I have never committed that sin!" because we are all guilty of everything else.

God doesn't hate homosexuals like fundamentalists will claim--God loves EVERYBODY unconditionally, including you, and he certainly won't send you to Hell because of one single, defining trait: your sexual orientation. There is no way to change, so your life will be much easier if you just accept yourself.

Answer 10

You can't change your sexuality any more than you can change your skin color, and there isn't a thing wrong with being gay. What is wrong is not being truthful to who you are and not loving yourself the way you are. The bible is just words written by people who claim that they are the words of God. Don't you think if God was going to have a book it wouldn't be full of so many contradictions? Please be true to who you are and don't try and change because of small minded people.