My husband and I have a 3 month old baby girl. Everytime we plan something and casually mention it to our parents, they automatically assume they will get to watch the baby. This has become a problem because then we have to pick.
We've talked to all of them about the situation and they were understanding. But it's still the same! We are going out of town for one night next weekend and we chose my in-laws to watch her. Well of course my mom assumed she was going to watch her... when I told her my in-laws were keeping her she got an attitude with me! (which she does on the regular now). I almost don't want to talk to her anymore. She's been like this ever since I moved out 2 years ago!
Any Suggestions? Can anyone relate?
2007-08-17 07:04:01 · 16 answers · asked by *New Mommy* 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I think a lot of you are being very rude, this poor women is having a problem and all you have to say is " I could never leave my 3 months old baby" you are putting this women down because she gets ONE whole night out with her husband? With my first child i really didn't leave him for about 13 months alone with anybody including my husband, I was terrified to leave him, but my relationship with mt husband was put on the back burner, with my second child i pumped milk so i was able to go out with my husband and not feel like i was losing out on one relationship over the other. Let the women enjoy a night out with her husband, lover and friend.
2007-08-17 08:03:40 · answer #1 · answered by wklj 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish I could relate! My mother-in-law passed away years ago. My Husbands father and new wife are always traveling and show little interest. My parents work and are very busy - so leaving my son with them overnight would be out of the question unless it was a serious emergency. I WISH I had your issue.
Just talk to her. Tell her that you are trying to keep things fair. Remember to appreciate what you have. Not many grandparents will keep the little ones throughout the night so that you can run off with your husband on a quick trip. Many will keep a baby for a couple of hours so that you can go to a doctors appointment, maybe run an errand. But I wouldn't even ask for overnights. I know they're too busy.
2007-08-17 14:25:40 · answer #2 · answered by DawnRenee 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I hate to sound rude but it seriously would have been impossible for me to leave my 3 month old overnight, even with Grandparents. I had the hardest time returning to work only one day a week for 8 hours after my baby was 4.5 months old. I would always pass on lunch with my co-workers because I wanted to go to my Mom's to check on and cuddle with my son. So, you're different then me, that's for certain.
I think you should be glad that you have so many people willing to help you out while you and your husband leave for trips that keep you away over night. Not many people would be okay with that. Caring for a 3 month old all throughout the night is not always the easiest of tasks. Just thank your Mom and tell her that you love that she's so generous with her help and time but that you are trying to also include your husbands parents so they don't get hurt feelings.
2007-08-17 14:21:29 · answer #3 · answered by Libra lass 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You should realize how lucky you are that you "have to pick" who's going to watch your baby while you go away for a night to yourselves! Seriously. Most don't have that luxury. Most mothers can't get any help, let alone nights away. Be grateful for what you have and stop stressing about the small stuff. Tell your Mom she can have her next time you go out of town. And then start being grateful that you CAN get a break, a night away. Many mom's NEVER do this until the kids are grown and out of the house.
2007-08-17 14:29:22 · answer #4 · answered by Haulie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't leave my baby overnight at only 3 months old. So, I guess I can't relate. You sound a little spoiled, honestly. I think you're in a situation that many women would truly love to be in. How lucky you are that the grandparents make time for your child so that you and your hubby can go away alone together. Doesn't sound like you have it too bad to me. The fact that you would even be considering cutting your mom off and not talking to her anymore is ridiculous to me. Maybe she's a little pushy and wants to be a little selfish with her time with her grand-baby. But she doesn't sound like a bad lady! Not talking to her and keeping your daughter away from her just because she's a little annoying to you in the way she approaches things would be cruel on your part.
2007-08-17 14:34:36 · answer #5 · answered by Addi 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I guess I can see how this would be annoying. You don't want to have to bother dealing with your mom's hurt feelings every time you make a decision about the care of your daughter ~ but at the same time you should really appreciate the fact that you have a mother who is so willing to keep your daughter while you're away on overnights. Just explain that you appreciate that she loves your daughter so much that she is so eager to watch her all the time but that you have to take into consideration the in-laws because they do as well. Explain that you're trying to maintain a balance to keep things fair.
2007-08-17 14:17:04 · answer #6 · answered by AngelBaby 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
We have some grandparent jealousy issues as well :) our problem is that my in-laws are an hour and a half way and my parents are nice and close. It just makes things easier to call my parents and have them pop right over AND both of my parents are teachers so they have had the whole summer off and their hours of availability can't be beat!
Since it sounds like both your parents and in-laws live near by, perhaps you could tell them you are going to try to alternate who babysits, assuming they can be available during the time you need them.
I just try to remind myself that as annoying as it is to deal with bickering grandparents...they are only acting this way because they love my child so much :)
2007-08-17 14:14:37 · answer #7 · answered by western b 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just consider yourself lucky. You have two Grandmas that want to watch your baby for you, because they probably both love you & are jealous when the other gets the baby. Put yourself in your moms shoes. I know I'll be jealous when my son chooses his in-laws (if I'm lucky enough to be a grandma). Don't stop talking to your poor mom. Tell her if she's going to get an attitude when she doesn't watch her grandchild then you just won't tell her next time. Good Luck!!!!
2007-08-17 14:19:23 · answer #8 · answered by Vick 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I agree. Make them take turns..alternate it each time and they hav enothing to argue about. They are adults and old enough to act as so and realize they are not the only set of grandparents. I have to say I'm glad I can't relate..my in-laws live out of state. Great people but I'm glad to not have to deal with things like that..seems like most of my friends with kids have same issues as you.
2007-08-17 14:20:28 · answer #9 · answered by pookiesmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I'm really sorry. I can't relate. My mother-in-law doesn't babysit and my mom will only do so in a bind. Plus, my son is 18 months old and I've yet to even consider leaving him overnight. I would have too hard a time being away from him.
You should just be grateful that you have the help that you do. Having Grandparents fighting over who is going to keep your baby so that you and your hubby can leave doesn't really sound like that big of a problem to me.
Just being honest.
2007-08-17 14:11:52 · answer #10 · answered by Ava 1 · 6⤊ 3⤋