Do you believe that there is one person meant for you and you only?

Question

I know this question has probably been asked a zillion times before, and that I need a good kick back into reality!

But.... imagine for a second.....if there is 'a one' for each of us, is that 'one' limited exclusively to the country to which you are born/where you go in life? Or could they live anywhere in the world and it's just pure chance that you get together?

There are people who have a 'feeling' they should be somewhere else - is that their 'one' screaming out to them "come find me, your taking so flamin' long !"?

People get married to the ones they fall deeply in love with and want to spend the rest of their lives with - have they been lucky and found 'the one'?

Answer 1

NO! NO! NO! The only thing pre-destined is that we will all find a highly (what we think at the time) compatible mate at some stage.

It is a nonsense to think that we are all destined to meet the 'one'. In order for that to happen the number of meetings/encounters/actions etc that would all have had to happen in order that we be in that particular bar or whatever place at that moment in time is just unfathomable and hence ludicrous.

The reason therefore we all think that a mate is the 'one' is to do with biology - when we meet a suitable mate we become almost addicted to them. There is a real chemical change in our brain and these endorphins help the pair bond - at this stage we feel that we have never met anyone like him/her, keep thinking of them, think they are perfect for us, we are heady and head over heels.

All of this is normal and in fact when the pair move onto the next stage (given that living at such an intensity always is not feasible) which is the realisation the mate is not as perfect as we thought and so on.. or in phsyiological terms when the brain is now able to see the love object as they actually are and not as we over exagerated or hoped they were.

Could go on for yonks but won't - but do read up on the psychology of love for a reality check on the notion of the 'one' - even sociology tackles this nonsense by pointing out that although there is perpetuated the notion of opposites attract, in actual fact people do have a number of things in common with their mates including for example class hence why Prince Charles was never gonna plump for Betty from Lidl's..

Evolution dictates that we are all programmed to fall in love - who that is is just due to proximity and chance. Even if one encounter fails - as many do - we are even able to repeat the experience with others.. although (as we all know) when a pair breaks up - at the time we all fret that we have lost the love of our life etc - all tosh and time/deeds usually show this.

Great Q

Answer 2

If this is true and there is only one for each of us then it would take a miracle to find your other half if we are searching the whole world. Some people don't ever move out of their home town let alone another country or the rest of the planet. What if your other half speaks a different language? What if you don't recognize each other at first and don't get another chance? What if you do? Some people marry because they are deeply in love with each other but it still doesn't work out. It would be really great to find "The One" and I hope you and I both do!

Answer 3

No, I reject the whole "soulmate" concept entirely. I am a whole person, as is everyone else on this world. There are any number of people I might be compatible with. Sometimes two compatible people meet, are attratcted to each other, and start a relationship. Sometimes they are so well matched that relationship lasts a lifetime, in other cases people may change or tire of each other and break up. It's normal, and in fact, if you look around, you'll see that most relationships end, regardless of how people feel about them at the beginning.

Answer 4

Well, as I look back on my life I see not one COINCIDENCE in the paths I went down in my life. I won't go all the way back to my mom & step dad meeting, But let's start with me going in the military: USAF recruiter wasn't there...I wanted out of Delaware and joined the Navy. I had put in an extension in Viet Nam for a year the day before my orders came in(which I could have turned down in place of my extension...I took the orders). I met my future wife here. We dated a while and parted. One day, my partner and I decided to take the 'scenic route' (along the beach area) back to the base. My ex-girlfriend was with her mom at a corner we passed. My partner kept asking me if I had called her. I finally did. That was in June or July of 68...we were married in Feb 69.
I was getting ready to ask the girl I was dating to marry me...but things didn't work out..I gave her an ultimatum...She could have called me or I could have called her...neither happened.
Coincidences? I don't think so.
We've been married over 38 years. The other two woman that I would have married have been widowed(one) and divorced (one).

Answer 5

I personally dont believe in there being 1 person just meant for you. Not tryin to be anti-romance or anything but everyones soo different from each other, and everyones had there own tribulations that made them who they are. I think thats whats so great about life :) You dont have to be searching for someone exactly like you, tht at would be boring in the long run anyways. Just gotta find the right person worth spending the rest of your life with. hope i helped.

Answer 6

I certainly believe that there is a "one" for everyone...I will tell you why I think this:

I was born in Spain (my dad was in the Air Force) and My husband was born in El Salvador...so completely different sides of the world! We moved around a lot and ended up in Albuquerque, New Mexico....then by chance I got into a boarding school in the south of New Mexico and that is where I met him.....He had came to this country (because his country was in the middle of a civil war...) and he became a resident and also by chance he got into the same boarding school!!

this just proves to me that there are sould mates out there....because we were instant friends and then became more, and we have been together and happy ever since.

Answer 7

No I don't believe there is just one person for each of us. I think we're more suited for some people more than others, but I think there are so many different and complex personalities, that I think we have a good chance of finding someone in this life to be with. In other words, I think there is somebody and actually several people, for each of us. We just have to find one we like enough and feel compatible enough to live our lives with.

Answer 8

Sometimes alot of people don't find them but theres so many in the world there has to be someone out there that thinks like you understands you and wants a relationship with you ...well thats what i'm telling myself 7000 new uni students next year one of them has to like me and not be gay or already with somone or a werido. I think those who have a 'feeling' are maybe just nervous for a bit (cold feet) or they arn't happy or maybe they just want more from life.

Answer 9

No, I don't think so. There are so many variables to compatibility and chemistry that I'm certain there is more than one person who could make us happy.

Example. My cousin was happily married to his wife for 30+ years, dating from when they were in their early 20s. She died of an illness. He remarried a few years later with the blessing of his children. He and wife #2 have now been married over 10 years, and I have no reason to doubt that they will be together 'til the day they die (which could be another 20+ years). Interestingly, wife #2 was also a widow who had been married for 25 years before her husband died.

So no, I don't think there is "one."

Answer 10

I would like to think that all the ones (opposite sex) are available and are "the ones" that could possibly be for me but just that the conditions are unripe so I end meeting "the one" 1st. I do not think many married couples actually found "the one" of whom they really desire and dream of. Most of them succumb to the need for a stable relationship with a faithful and trustable partner more than finding their true love.