I have a wife and a girlfriend. I know you will all say hateful things to me since I said that. Here's my problem: I am not sure I love my wife anymore but I know I am madly in love with my girlfriend. Do I stay in the marriage and try to work it out or do I leave my wife for my girlfriend? My wife does know about my affair and is very upset about it.
2007-08-17 06:36:22 · 14 answers · asked by Handsome Stranger 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a husband and a boyfriend. I would not say hateful things to you first of all, and second of all, the answer lies within yourself. Ask yourself why you strayed from your wife in the first place and what reasons you are madly in love with your girlfriend. People and marriages change, some partners move forward in life and others are content living in a placid but comfortable relationship. My situation and yours is no different than any other person committed to a relationship, and makes a decision to change their lives for someone they think could be the soul mate they never found until now. Guilt and deceit are also a part of an affair, and until you both make a decision and stick to it, the excitement will also become a stress factor. You have the answer, you just need to take it to the next level. I hope I helped you...and good luck to you.
2007-08-17 06:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by linspec54 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, I have been there. That sucks. Do you have kids? If you do, you should probably try and work on the marriage. Also just remember, you may love the girlfriend because she offers a break from real life stress. She gets the best of you. Most people who leave their spouses for the lover get a dose of reality real quick. What will it be like with the girlfriend when its no longer just a forbidden fling and every day stress enteres the picture? How will it be when there are money problems and other stressful things happening? That is what makes affairs so exciting! Its almost an escape from the every day mundane. As soon as that becomes an every day thing and the secrecy is not part of it, it won't seem so thrilling. Trust me.
2007-08-17 06:48:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are willing to get into a serious relationship with another woman, while still married, that indicates to me that it is over for your marriage. If you are just doing it for attention, and willing to stop seeing the girlfriend (and it doesn't sound like you would), then it is possible that you could work your marriage out. Just be aware that your girlfriend will never trust you, even if you leave your wife for her. She will always think that since you did it to your wife, you will cheat on her also. But you have to be willing to cut off all contact with your girlfriend, and any other women, it you plan to try and work on your marriage.
2007-08-17 07:11:24 · answer #3 · answered by Suzette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you're going to get butchered on this site. You don't have a girlfriend. You have a mistress. How long have you been married? kids? Did your mistress know about the wife before you guys hooked up? Don't think highly of people who break up marriages. So you think it's long-term with the girl? How do you know? How do you know you won't get bored with her too when it's no longer "dates" but a real relationship? You probably won't have a choice- your wife will spell it out. If I were she- I'd dump your a$$. You absolutely need counseling if you want to change your actions. What you are doing and what you did is wrong.
2007-08-17 06:58:24 · answer #4 · answered by RSJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok no judgement. you said you dont know if you love your wife anymore you didnt say that you dont so why dont you tell ur girlfriend to give you some time and TRY to work it out with your wife. Do you have kids? If so then there's more of a reason to try. If ur girlfriend gets mad, that's not fair bc she knows ur married. If after you try and it doesnt work deeply apologize to ur wife. u cant help who u love, but you did take vows with ur wife and you at least owe her another shot. ask urself if its just the newness of ur girlfriend or is it "her" completely. Good Luck and hey, at least u were honest w ur wife.
2007-08-17 07:01:32 · answer #5 · answered by amarie801 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is my thing, when the wife lnows about the affair; why don't they leave and make it easier? lol////
Im not like all the other people on here and that is why i am going to say leave ur wife and go w ur girlfriend ..:)
do what makes YOU HAPPY ...
2007-08-17 08:47:09 · answer #6 · answered by LEXI4U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to work things out with your wife. your girl needs to step away and let you and your wife work on your marriage. do you even feel bad for what you have done to your wife i sure what ever problems you had she didnt deserve this. ihave been married a month and i can feel your wifes pain i dont know what i would do if my husband told me something like that!
2007-08-17 06:44:50 · answer #7 · answered by CHERISH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is bound to be upset what did you expect,,,,the best thing is for you too do is sit and have a darn good think about this,,if you say you love your girlfriend more,then its probably time for you to let go off your wife,and hopefully in time she will meet someone and gets the happiness she so rightly deserves,,,and as for saying hateful things to you,im not because at least you admit to how you are feeling,and i am not one too judge xx
2007-08-17 06:45:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know you screwed up so, i'll bypass that one. i can tell you this for sure, never leave one FOR the other. it'll never end up the way you want it to. if you don't love your wife, do the right thing and take care of that aspect of your life before you get seriously involved with another. at least leave your wife with a bit of dignity and respect.
2007-08-17 06:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your going to have an affair, why don't you just.....NOT GET MARRIED?!!! Poor innocent women is sufferring cause of you.. and your dumb girlfriend. Make the right choices in life.. and do whatever you want to do.
2007-08-17 06:43:45 · answer #10 · answered by Tooly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋