I've noticed a trend here... Why is there more understanding for cheating women?

Question

Ever since I've joined answers, I've noticed that when women post questions concerning cheating men, the advice is always "dump the loser".

But when it's a man with a cheating wife, the answer is always "go to marriage therapy"?

I would never forgive a cheating wife. As a matter of fact, I think it's worse if your wife cheats! What say you?

ladylady, don't get me wrong, men shouldn't cheat. But I think it's worse if a woman cheats because a man's masculinity is fragile, it's much easier for women to contact disease through heterosexual sex, and when men cheat it's usually just physical.

Answer 1

If you look at the advice givers...women forgive women. That's like a law or something isn't it? I don't recall ever giving the okay to a female cheater.....Like you, I believe cheating is cheating. It is worse when a wife cheats because she knows better!

Answer 2

I think it is up to the individual to decide if they can forgive and want to work it out. If you are writing this because of the question that a man wrote about his cheating wife a minute ago then you should go back and reread it. He wanted to stay and forgive her. So I try to support him in that. If someone says they can't forgive (male or female) then I say move on then. It's all about the person and if they feel that they want to give it a chance. I see your point about it's worse if a wife cheats but I still don't agree. Yes it's horrible because a man's ego is fragile but women have a very hard time letting go of emotional pain. We cannot view a man's affair as purely physical. We see it as a betrayal the same way a man does. I think they are equally devastating.

Answer 3

Physical violence is NEVER to answer to a relationship problem, especially if the couple is married. Violence always escalates. Slamming doors leads to hitting walls. Hitting walls leads to hitting spouses. Hitting spouses leads to physical beatings. Physical beatings leads to murder. The only question is WHEN, not IF. Physical violence in a relationship must NEVER be tolerated. At the first sign of physical violence, the victimized partner should leave. She (or he!) must protect her or his physical well being, AND that of any children. A separation IS A MUST. If there are any physcial marks (black eyes, split lips, etc) the victim MUST contact the police and file "battery" charges. And make them stick! None of this "He didn't mean it" or "He's really a good man when he's not drunk." s--t! Call the police, have him (or her) arrested, and file those charges. This is a heavy negotiating tool, later! And reconcilation must take place ONLY if and when the offending partner has proven that he or she has this violent tendency in control. That means proper attendance and completion of anger management classes. This, of course, does not include a reasonable spanking of children, especially when they wear diapers. But the spanking must never become abusive. It must never lead marks, and never exceed two or three "whacks" on the backside, never on the face or head.. It must be done only with the open hand (never a fist) and never with an object (belt, board, stick, spoon, or other object) and never done in anger. Punishment must be planned. Note, though, that I do not recommend divorce except as a last resort, in those cases where the offending partner refuses the counselling, or the physical abuse starts up again. The goal after separation is ALWAYS reconciliation of the couple. Now, most men (its usually the men who get violent) will want to avoid the breakup of their relationship. But what man would purposely break up his relationship with a loving patient woman (or the other way around)?. If these actions are to stop, then there must be a reward for doing so. Getting out of jail (or avoiding it -- see above) is one, being able to go home to a supportive, loving relationship is another. Only when there is no hope of the offending party changing do I recommend a divorce. This is, of course, based dynamically on the relationship, but at least give the offending party a chance to PROVE that the violence will NEVER hapen again.

Answer 4

Most women cheat because seldom do husbands even pay attention to their wife's unless it benefits the husband to do so, more often than not for sexual reasons,otherwise the wife is on the bottom of the list if at all, outside.of a man's job, television set, and play time with the boy's.Most men cheat 4 the same reason's as mentioned above they put themselves first and their wife's last ,if at all. Sorry guy's but that is the way it is for most, since the beginning of time.Men think that women were only put here on earth to satisfy the wants and needs of a man.Men are takers and Women are givers but not so much anymore.So 4 a lot of husbands out there not all, wise up or deal with the consequences.Wife's no longer want to settle for being less than.

Answer 5

Perhaps you aren't reading the questions closely and taking into account the entire situation. It's not more acceptable for a female than a male, but if the poster has indicated a desire to work things out then counseling may be suggested before "leave"...if the poster indicates there are other issues or partner won't go to counseling, etc then the appropriate step would be "leave".

I don't always think counseling is a good suggestion, nor do I always suggest it...but I do sometimes, esp if it appears at least one of the parties in question really isn't ready to throw in the towel.

Cheating is a pretty low and dirty thing for anyone to do...does't matter if the cheater has a penis or a vagina.

Answer 6

Men cheat women more often for physical needs, women cheat because of emotional needs. Once the husband satisfies the emotional need or the communication between spouses improve, the woman will not usually continue the extra-marital affair.
There is no justifiable answer for anyone cheating.
As for your comment, 'I would never forgive a woman who cheats', maybe you have to ask yourself first, 'how much do you value your marriage?'

www.icanrelate.com.ph
mind health and legal issues

Answer 7

I think it's probably more accepted b/c women have better excuses to cheat. Don't get me wrong, I would never cheat on my husband. I don't think either should cheat. But it seems most men who cheat, do so with a loving, tentative wife at home. Women who cheat tend to do so as a result of having a "vacant" marriage wth an emotionally unavailable man.

Answer 8

How is it "worse" if the woman cheats? Betrayal is betrayal. As for why women are usually nicer to woman. We just tend to stick together. But, my advice to anyone who's spouse is sorry is to try and work it out. I don't think the advice should be different just because of who committed the betrayal.

Answer 9

It's devastating to a family regardless who does the cheating. If my wife cheated on me, I don't know what I'd do.

I think people see women as driven to cheating (he wasn't there for me, he was abusive, I'm not happy) so they are more inclined to get sympathy, which is absurd. When a man cheats, however, he's seen as a dog who just wants sex.

Answer 10

Not necessarily. I don't differentiate between genders personally. A cheater is a cheater, regardless of genitalia.

HOWEVER, it is far MORE likely that men will cheat than women (BECAUSE men see just the physical aspect -- not emotional), and women USUALLY have a larger emotional investment in a relationship than men, so women seem more hurt by the act of infidelity on average.

I'm not saying this is a hard and fast rule...simply an observation on my part.