I have been with my husband for 13yrs. a battle the whole way. once we got married (2yrsago) he seemed to have changed..could communicate and wanted to work together. it didnt last long at all. back to the old him. he works (welding so i know its hot) and comes home to the fixer upper house we just bought and lays on the couch.. i am still at work and then come home and do some dishes maybe throw in laundry and cook for him and our 2 kids and then more dishes and then again the next day. he thinks the house is a mess and that "I" should keep up on it better. I have tried to talk to him but he doesnt listen its like he turns into another person. he starts to verbally abuse me. he (aside from my kids) is ALL I HAVE. I have NO other family and cant support my home if he leaves....wtf do i do?
2007-08-17 03:02:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Seek marriage counseling for yourself. They maybe can give you some tips on what to do. Since you both work, he should share in the household chores. It is not fair for him to expect you to work and do everything at home.
2007-08-17 03:09:40 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you were with him for 13 years, it was a "battle the whole way," and you STILL married him??? People don't change after they get married!!! If it was such a battle, I'm not sure why you were with him for 13 years in the first place, but marrying someone in the hopes that they might change is ALWAYS a bad idea!!! Sorry, sweetie, but I don't know what to tell you. If you get divorced, he'll have to pay child support, but you might have to accept the fact that you'll ned to sell your house and move into a small apartment.
2007-08-17 03:11:21 · answer #2 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, take the word "can't" out of your vocabulary. It's an excuse people use to get away with not doing something difficult! Next, if he isn't up to counseling and verbal abuse is done in front of your kids...think to yourself "Is this the role model I want teaching my kids?" Your choice. Just remember "can't" is an excuse....so is "I've done everything!" Why did you marry a man that you didn't have a good relationship with in the first place?
2007-08-17 03:16:35 · answer #3 · answered by peggy m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is a hard situation for you ( I have been there too). The only advice that I can give you is try getting some counseling for the both of you, if he won't go then get help for yourself. You have children so you need to be healthy (physically and emotionally) for them to. Ask your self this would you be better off being miserable with him (causing most of it) or miserable without him (less to be miserable about). Best of luck to you Hun, and just remember life is too short to be miserable the rest of your life.
2007-08-17 03:55:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trade up, husband has to go, getting married after that long is too little too late, get out of that dump, get an apartment, face it, you have to start over or be miserable. Good luck, i know it is hard.
Yes, you CAN support your family, and daddy dear does have to pay child support, which will supplement your income a little.
2007-08-17 03:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sell your fixer upper for enough profit to afford 1st and last month's rent in an apartment. You just got the house, so you won't profit that much.
He won't change. You both work; he's not the only one who's tired.
2007-08-17 03:10:52 · answer #6 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rebel relax. If you believe it's over take matters into your own hands & stop playing the victim. Go get some training or a job with potential. Gain financial independence, take your kids & go. Simple.
2007-08-17 03:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be expected to do it all so if he won't help out then you need to get counseling on how to live like this or on how to leave. You shouldn't go on like this, it's a waste of a life...
2007-08-17 03:13:19 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
married similar boat if u care to chat about it email me
2007-08-17 05:35:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you need to wake up and he is never going to change
most guys dont
2007-08-17 03:16:47 · answer #10 · answered by suepooh23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋