Do you think this is normal?

Question

My husband just started a new job at his firehouse as an EMT. He works with three girls. He is close to one of them, and considers her a good friend. I think they might have a friendly/playful relationship. Is it normal to have a close relationship with the opposite sex without having romantic feelings for that person?
My husband is a great guy/father. Not the cheating up. He says that he really likes her as a friend/and needs to build a close bond with her (they are medic partners). I guess I am still worried about it though.
Please serious answers only.

Thanks ya'll. No they aren't hanging out outside the firehouse. And yes I have met this girl and she is goregous.And sadly...really nice. I guess I need to trust him, he hasn't did anything in the past 6 years for me not to trust him. Any other advice is welcome. Email me if ya have more to say!

Answer 1

My ambulance partner is opposite sex. After spending 24 hours every three days together, we tend to become close friends. It's just the nature of the work; that friendship is pretty necessary. Have you ever had to spend a 24 hour shift with someone you hated? Trust me, it's not fun at all.
There's also an element of trust; you have to know that your partner has your back, so to speak.

I'd be worried if he started spending lots of time with her outside of work, while excluding you from said activities, but as long as it's just a workplace friendship, and you are included on any out-of-work activities, then I wouldn't be worried about it.

Hope this helps :)

Answer 2

I've been a paramedic for 31 years and have worked with many women. He's right, you do have to know and trust your partner. You have to know which way he or she will "bounce" when the crap hits the fan. In other words, you both have to be in sync and know what to expect from the other person. You also have to be able to trust that person, literally with your life. The only way to get to this level is to have a close bond. Not all partners do, some, like any job, are idiots and you keep them at arm's length. The good ones you bring close. It does happen, but most females know the boundaries and would never cross them. Many spouses share your concerns, it sounds like you have nothing to worry about. Keep him happy and you'll be fine.

Answer 3

Some of the best friendships i have had is with men that I have no desire for. I am not a typical woman tho, most of my friends say I think more like a man than a woman and thus the bond. From your perspective I can understand how you feel because my first husband cheated on me with MY good friend. People are people and they will do what they will there is nothing you can do to change the future. Enjoy your love with your husband and don't push him away by thinking nagging thoughts that manifest into a malleable barrier between him and you. Now if only I can take my own advice.

Answer 4

I have several "girlfriends" and I am very close with a few of them, although I am not physically attracted to them. This has always been a problem with any relationship I've been in, until my girlfriend met them. I'm not sure how much you have seen or talked to these women, but doing so may help you stop worrying as much.
My close female friends are all relationships from the Military, and my current girlfriend hate it when I talked about them, one in particular. Then, one night a group of us went out and she met all my colleagues, including the females. Once she hung out with them and saw how we acted together, she no longer worried.
Maybe you guys can get a group from the firehouse to go out one night, this way you can meet them, but in a group environment.

Answer 5

yes it's normal for a guy to have freinds that are girls. As long at there aren't any lines crossed.

Don't be so afraid of it. If you trust him leave it go, you'll only upset him and then problems will start. Not becasue he is fooling around, but becasue then he'd feel like he'd have to hide his friendship with her from you making you more suspicious of them and so on and so on....

In a field like that it's important to build a close bond with your partner male or female. You need to trust that you know what the other is doing and how they are going to react so they can save lives and perform more efficiently.

When you get the chance perhaps you should meet this chick. You might become good friends with her too.

Answer 6

Yes I think men and women can have good relations without sex being involved. Maybe you should invite her over and get to know her and be friends with her as well! You will know what she's all about if you don't let your jealousy side kick in and run your thoughts. People connect soemtimes well and sometimes some people don't know what it means to conect with others like this.

I met a man I once worked with and I was hurt at work and out of my job and when he found out he came right over and hired me to watch his children, his wife and I became very close I am just as close to her as I am to him, I even became their live in babysitter! I always worried that she would think something was going on between us but she never did and nothing like that ever happened either, we just didn't even think about that! It was not something that was ever an issue. It's all about trust and respect, how her trust her, how he trusts you, how she trust him, how she trusts you and how you trust both of them! Get to know her before you think any more about it! You already know your husband, it's her you have to get to know now... By supporting it you will be able to see things that will give clear signs of affair or friendship. They will both have more respect for you by dong this then if you were fighting then on it...

Answer 7

It is possible to have a male/female friend. Think about it your with this person one on one for 8-10 hours a day. I would think conversation is going on. Talking about each other and family. Being an EMT, police officer does not mean that he is a cheat. After all plenty of men cheat who are not surrounded by woman.

Answer 8

Absolutely!! I have worked in several jobs over the years and have gotten very close to some of the women I work with. My wife calls them my work wifes. However, this was strictly work, no non work related phone calls, e-mails, weekend visits, etc. That being said, several of my co-workers through out the years in similar circumstances, haven't been able to keep it as a plutonic work relationship. One of the warning signs is if they start to do activities outside the normal work day together instead of as group of co workers going out after work for beer, bowling, etc.

If you are really concerned about it, ask your husband if you had a similar work relationship if it would bother him. Besides, it's not like you can do a lot about it anyway, they are working together for long hours in close proximity and in a stressful work environment.

I think as long as you have a good relationship at home, and don't see any changes in behavior in your husband, you shouldn't worry too much. I think anyone would be a little bit jealous regardless how secure they are or how innocent it is, but don't be overly concerned.

You might even try to get togther at a party or something to get to know her better, it might ease your mind. However, be prepared to be bored out of your mind with shop talk, my wife sure was!! My wife would also occasionaly pop in to work unannounced for lunch or to visit with me to "establish her turf" and to make her presence known, mostly to reassure herself, she's not the jealous type at all. She also had a work "friend" that occasionaly bothered me as well, but after getting to know him, I was much more comfortable with it.

Hope this helps!!

Answer 9

something more than friendship is going on. that was the lamest excuse i've ever heard (building a relationship because they are partners) what if she was a man? he's telling you about building a bond with another woman. the only bond he needs to be building is with his wife. at work he has another life which takes on alot of stress. there he has a female in which has the same interest as he does, will share the living quarters and private details of both of their lives. what she will end up being is his "work wife" and you will be his kids mom. she will be all jokes and play hugging, while you will be, this needs to be done and did you pay this. I work for the fire department and my brothers, as well as a group of my friends from emt untis and fire houses, who are all male, are doing so much down low things with their woman co-workers, especially because they have to sleep there co-ed. (anyway) he already know his intentions with this woman, thats why he is setting you up for the kill. it is not possible for a man to establish just one particular woman when he works with a few and say to you "me and her are good friends" what he is really saying is. "this lady is going to be in my life and you have to accept it. and in order for me not to feel guilty, i will tell you about her before you find out about her that way. i will feel less guilty and won't be hiding anything,.(except what we do at work) you should be worried. he thinks you are gullable.

Answer 10

hmmm...he said he needs to build a close bond w/ her? well, in my opinion, we are only to be bonded w/ a spouse...and that's that...=(... friendly, playful? what do you mean? hugging, touching, grabbing? there is supposed to be a no touch rule...and that's that, too...=(... no, it's not normal to be this close to the opposite sex when you are married... and, in my opinion, working at a firehouse w/ three ladies only is a very bad idea... there should be other men there...is there? does he ever drive alone w/ any of these ladies? there should be a rule about being alone w/ the opposite sex... and that's that too...just my opinion... flirting is cheating's cousin...they are related...and being playful is included in flirting...