Cant cope with wife...IVF HELL! PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

I am a male and Im unable to conceive the natural way. (due to a health condition)
I had to have a testiciclur biospsy in order for us to get sperm. I have sperm stored at the hospital (frozen)
In order to proceed with IVF (ICSI) we had to attend a seminar which was to educate us of the process. About 100 people attended the seminar.
I felt very uncomfortable, and so did my wife. As we entered the room where the seminar was being held my wife kicked off (stampinghher feet, hufffing, tutting) I tried to calm her down but she made it obvious to EVERYONE she didnt want to be there.
During the seminar she put cotton wool in her ears and started reading a book! Thought the whole seminar she was muttering things. My wife made the whole experience 100 times worse.

When I confronted her after the seminar, she stated that she felt very uncomfortable in the room. I explained that everyone was in the same boat and nobody was singled out. I also informed her that I was the one who had
the medical complaint, so if anyodoy should feel uncomfortable it should have been ME!
my wife cant see that she was in the wrong. Going through IVF is stressful and Im not sure she will be able to cope.
I tried talking to her about it and she has twisted things round and made me look the bad one (for being in a mood with her!)
I said to her last night that I dont think she is in the right right frame of mind to go ahead with IVF. Her reply was "go and find another women who will go through this for you!"
After some deep thought, I said maybe we should hold back on the IVF for a few years, She agreed and phoned me today to tell me she was called the hospital to cancel all treatment! She informs me she has put this in writing to them aswell.
Now shes blaming me!

Answer 1

Your wife is not ready to become a mother.
She has no compassion or patience and is self-absorbed.
Any children you have would suffer.
.

Answer 2

Sounds like you're married to a two year old. It seems that she is not the one you should to have children with, that's just asking for trouble if she's so unstable.
Did she know about your condition when she married you? I mean, it's unfair of her to be so unreasonable now if she was always aware of this. If she doesn't want to go ahead with this, she should just say so and not be such a baby about it.

I'm sure that this situation is causing a lot of strain in your marriage, but you have to find a compromise if you want to make it through. That means sitting down, as adults, and calmly talking through things, with out the tamtrums.

Good Luck man, all the best.

Answer 3

I agree with OJ 110%. Your wife can not cope with the situation. Her reactions are ridiculous. I am sure that this situation is very hard on her, feels depressed, or abnormal in a way. But it is no excuse for her to behave that way and especially to make things harder than they are. The things she just did, canceling all the appointments and such, she did out of retaliation and that's not right either. I guess she felt hurt and betrayed by you telling her you should wait and to retaliate she did that. She feels bad and doesn't know how to cope and unfortunately she takes it out on you, being the closest one to her. She should get counseling. And though its hard and she is acting like a child try to understand her and instead of getting angry with her pity her, she is going through some issues. Though this situation is unfair the best you can do for yourself and her is to pity her, be patient and try to understand her in her perspective. Try to talk to her when she is calm and a good mood. Tell her how her actions made you feel, tell her you don't want to fight, love her and that you want things to be better and then explain how you feel. Hopefully she'll react good and take her to counseling but suggested as if you need it and you want her to go along. Like that she won't get all defensive and try to flip the situation to make you look like the bad guy. Hopefully this works. Be patient.

Answer 4

Honestly, you both need some counseling. What is supposed to be a natural, enjoyable event has been made cold and clinical for both of you. Your wife probably wants what she can't have, and is terribly frustrated and most likely depressed and in denial. Please seek counseling, and possibly investigate adoption. IVF is expensive and can take MANY tries to work, and there are so many babies in need of care. But please get some professional therapy to halp you both through this difficult situation. You should focus lots of attention on your wife and your relationship right now. Good luck!

Answer 5

This depends on how much you want children and how much you love your wife. I would not force her to go through IVF with her attitude. She clearly is unhappy with your situation and she will make you feel guilty. Decide what you need most.
If she wants children strongly then I would consider marriage counseling over a divorce. But your wife needs an attitude change.

Answer 6

I think you should listen to your wife and leave and find a new wife. Her behavior is embarrassing, rude, and disrespectful. It's not like either of you willing chose your situation. You can do better. I'm sorry for your situation. Good luck.

Answer 7

Your wife is right. You need to find another woman. When my wife found out she had cancer, I was at her side constantly as support. I was there when she had the ultrasound. I was there when she had her surgery. I was there when she had chemotherapy. I was there when she had radiation. I was there when she visited the oncologist. If something bad happens to me, I expect her to be there for me, too. If she doesn't want to be there for me, it's time for us to move on.

Answer 8

Sounds to me like she is not ready for that step!!! Give her time and she will come around!!

Answer 9

you may not stay married to this woman so do not have a child with her anytime soon.wait and see.

Answer 10

gee wizz! good luck