My daughter is 15 and is now staying with me. She lived with her Dad before in another state.
My ex-husband sent her to me so that we could both decide if we want to reunite as a family. He moved due to job reasons so we would start over fresh in a new state.
I feel bad because I spent hours talking on the phone with my ex-husband, booked tickets for us both and booked the Salvation Army truck to come and pick up my things that are in storage.
Yet, I can not pick up and make the major transition to be back with my ex-husband again. I still see that he is controlling and money-minded. He was pushing me to sell my things instead of giving them away. I tried to tell him to stay out and he would not.
He also did not show that he really wanted me to come back and cared for me. Someone said that he should have shown interest in me and now what I do with my stuff.
I feel sad because now he will move on and I will be alone after my daughter leaves for college.
2007-08-17 01:56:20 · 11 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not about what people say, it's about how you feel.
If you go back to your ex-husband, you both should be clear on the terms on which you are starting.
You left for a reason in the first place. You had your own house and own responsibilities. You took care of yourself and was your own person, so this doesn't have to change entirely. You're not back getting younger but older and wiser.
So, put your feet down, and get the answers to the questions that are bothering you.
Let people say, but show to your husband that you are a person and someone who intends to count in the NEW relationship and that this is what matters to YOU.
You'd better make sure he gets the message, and as for you, remember that BOTH of you will have to make COMPROMISE; What's more, husbands are not mindreaders, if anything, they need things to be spelt out for them.
2007-08-17 02:09:34 · answer #1 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have done the proper and right thing- feeling sad- time really does heal all wounds and as for being alone once she is gone-- that is simply not true- you can and will make so many friends along the way and who knows- you may even find the LOVE of your life now that there is nothing clouding your sight. It really is time for both of you to move on and in different directions- remember though he will ALWAYS somehow be involved with your life as he is the father of your child. I was really worried that the moving van was going to come and you were going to return to old habits and that's really what he is a habit. Pull up your socks, throw back your shoulders, set a goal and start that new journey we call life and parenting.
2007-08-17 06:36:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You think he's controlling and money minded? Those aren't such bad qualities! Money is a nice thing when you want to go shopping! It sounds like you ought to be more money minded and then you could have professional movers instead of a Salvation Army truck. If he's a cheater and a liar, then yeah, he's a loser, but what is it that's so bad about this guy? Stop listening to what someone else tells you -- he should be more caring or show more interest in you. This isn't Hollywood! You aren't going to get Tom Hanks or Mr. Sensitive. You're going to get a regular guy, and this guy doesn't sound so bad. You better take while the taking's good or yes, you will be alone! Stop looking for a fairy tale and get in the real world. Go back to your husband.
2007-08-17 02:02:06 · answer #3 · answered by Sassie 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I think it's better that you figured out that this wasn't what you wanted before you packed your bags and moved over there. Your daughter will eventually understand your decision.
I don't believe that sacrificing your own happiness just to please others around you ever really works, ultimately.
And being alone is better than being with someone who does not have your best interest in mind and does not really care for you much - or at least, not in the way that you need them to. Being alone, at the very least, leaves you open for other romantic possibilities and opportunities in the future.
2007-08-17 02:03:31 · answer #4 · answered by Mika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust yourself. Something in your gut told you it wasn't right for you and you llistened... that's great.
I know your sad and scared... probably grieving the marriage even though you feel it's not right for you... a process you have to go through... BUT NOW... other doors will open and your new life may be more wonderful than you can ever imagine. Try to reach out to new friends and fill your life up with new experiences.
Your ex and daughter have their own journey.. focus on yours.
GOOD LUCK
2007-08-17 02:05:52 · answer #5 · answered by Bentley 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
The problem you are facing is a problem relating not only to you but to your daughter as well. It is you who has to decide about the future of yours own but at that time you has to remember about the fealings of yours daughter's too. look you has spended your 15 year or so period alone and had/might be faced the society and their activities against you.
How can you say this that your husband sent your daughter back with the fealing of reuinte? who told you so? have you maked this discussion with your husband? and if he is in army/defence survice, he will be quite having money minded. Think he remains on front for what and why? must be because of you people. so that you can not face any financial starvation. Don't you know about the defence service. It is fully risky for life, but he is there....
And who are you to tell him to stay out. If you can then let him to stay out of your heart and soul.
Your words "He also did not show that he really wanted me to come back and cared for me." shows that you want him to start first to reunite with you..... right and you had said earlier that "My husband sent ,my daughter to me so that we could both decide if we want to reunite as a family." so think whether he wants you or not..... OK And further you says " I feel sad because now he will move on and I will be alone after my daughter leaves for college." so what you wants is ""LADOO IN BOTH HANDS"" now think that what is your decision. and remember it is you who has to decide about the future life of not only of yours but of yours daughter's too.
BYE... have a happy life... if you needs any further problem to share you can have my number---- 9899271423
2007-08-17 02:34:59 · answer #6 · answered by Badal 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You know what cancel everything now. You are already unhappy dont see a reason why you are doing this and people dont change their ways easily especially if they are doing it for someone else.Dont go back to your husband.
2007-08-17 02:10:37 · answer #7 · answered by Maphondo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2017-03-02 01:05:35 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds very controlling and money hungry, this is not good. Why would you want to go back to this person when you know how they are???
2007-08-17 02:27:01 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what this is rediculous you are a grown woman and shoulkd know what is wrong and what is right!!! seriously why cant you make decisions on your own??? dont let anyone decide for you what you should sell or keep or give away thoses are your things period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 and you know what you know this guy aint right for you so why do you keep asking the same question!
2007-08-17 02:51:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋