How do you deal with grown step children? Husband puts them before wife!!?

Answer 1

You stand your ground, that's how you put up with them. They are adults so they have their own lives to live.

Answer 2

It's not a question of putting them before his wife, but just ask yourself if you had children how you would deal with it?
You can't just put them aside because someone else came into your life.
That person should decide to accept you with your package and if they can't then, then not get involved with single parents.
At some point, yes, when they are old enough to stand on their two feet, i suppose a parent can actually enjoy his life as a person, but you never stop being a parent because you remarry. And you can't love your children from your second relationship more than that the ones you had from your first marriage. They are all part of you. Which arm or eye do you prefer? Yes, exactly. So, your children are just a prolongation of your body, what do I say , they are part of you, and you wouldn't want to amputate any one way or the other.

Answer 3

This often happens because of guilt. Many times, a man or woman will put the child or children from a divorce in the place of the spouse they divorced out of guilt from the divorce. Usually the person that is or was the cause of the divorce will do this. The children will grow and this will lessen with time.

Answer 4

You knew he had children when you married him. What did you think he was going to do, leave them hanging because he married you? Most likely, he's not putting them before you. He's just including them in his life, which you don't like. Learn how to get along with them, instead of trying to push them away from their father. If you can't do that, get out of the man's life; so he can find happiness with a mature woman.

Answer 5

Children always "come before" a spouse....first or second.....the love for a child and the love for a spouse are so incredibly different.

As the biological parent, if my new spouse complained about how I put my children first, than I'd wonder about the emotional maturity of that spouse.

No matter how old your children are you are going to love them as if they were babies. It's only human.

Answer 6

maybe there wouldn't be so much divorce in this world if the spouse came first.
so many people like to say that the children should come first. if you love your children you will make sure you have a happy relationship with your spouse first and foremost so that they can grow up in a nice stable loving home.
especially if the children are grown the spouse should come first. cmon now they are adults.
i have two little girls and am going through a divorce. needless to say i should have realized that it was more important to put my spouse's feelings first.

Answer 7

Get over yourself. The kids were a part of his life before you and they will still be a part long after you are gone. I'm sure you knew about them before you did the I DO. Being jealous of kids (even if they are grown) just isn't right! What he does with his time and money is his business. You can put your foot down only when it comes to your time and money.

Answer 8

I went through the same thing but it eventually ended but It took a lot for me to get him to evaluate the situation and to understand my feelings also to get him to see the truth of how his children were really treating him, they were using him and just treater us both really bad. Some men think that their children willbe there in their lives foever and that the women come and go so when your husband realizes that you aren't going anywhere and that you could care less if he puts you second to his children he'll have a change in heart.

Answer 9

My answer to why divorce rates are so high is that spouses don't put each other first. It's taboo nowadays. For some reason it's politically incorrected to want to be first with your spouse. It makes you selfish? Why. I think it's a basic need of a marriage. I don't think you can have a happy, truly successful marriage if one or other of the spouses spend the entire marriage as second rate citizens.

Answer 10

First of all these children are grown and perhaps they dont want daddy to be close with anyone but them. you and husband have got to sit down and let him no how you feel .
He has to beable to let them no that he does have wife now and need to be there for her. and he will always be there for them to. good luck

Answer 11

Of course he does, they are his children. You CHOSE to marry into this situation. If you didn't want to do so then you shouldn't have shown up at the altar to get married.