Need advise from sincere wifes?

Question

Hi i am a mother of three i have been married for the last 15years. my hubby is an very loving person and hot tempered too. he is also responsible in taking care of the family. he has a weakpoint that he has an affair with a women but for money . wheni confronted this he reasoned out things that he will never leave his wife and kids for any women and told me not to make aissue out of it. i am now stress out bcos of this prob and have affected my health and down with skin problems. i also start strssing him out, he now says if i keep pressuring him mon this matter he would leave me and kids i love my hubby and he loves us, i do not want to leave for for anyone, but i must keep w\quite also as he is the sole bread winner. what can i do to keep myself without stressing myself which my condition is bad pls help

Answer 1

Money is no excuse to cheat! If he truly loved you, he wouldn't be putting you through this. You deserve better.

Answer 2

Leave your husband! This is not love! You live a lie and your children see not the truth of the matter! What happens when the truth comes out? You know he is just walking all over you b/c you let him. He knows you aren't going anywhere b/c you have no job and no will to and he knows that so look where it has gotten you now he is treatening this and that b/c he can! You need to find yourself a job and a little on the side and go from there. You are way to gullable. You do not deserve this kind of treatment and you do not even think anything is wrong with it anymore b/c you are so accustomed to it, this is all you know now!!!! Be strong and stand up for yourself and your marriage if he wanted some strange you and he should have participated in this together he is just selfish! If you want out there is a way -many things out there to help you fiancially as well! But it would be better for you to stay right where you're at b/c of the children and have him get on down the road! He has technicly left the family anyway you will also be granted alimony! What is worse having your children see this go on or let them know the truth and what is right and wrong!?

Answer 3

If he truly loved you, no matter what the situation may be, he would never stoop so low as to cheat on you. You're stressing because you're in a bad relationship, and he's stressing from the reaction you have towards his affairs. If you want to change that, you'll have to leave and move on. This may mean you'll have to do more to help support yourself and your family, but you don't have to put up with a selfish husband who seems to be full of the stuff that comes out of everyone's back end. It may be hard if you've always been dependent on him, but if you work on it hard enough, you'll get through it. The question is if you have enough heart and self respect to leave. I hope you are strong enough to because if you don't, you'll continue to be treated this way.

Answer 4

Wow...this is heavy.
You need real advice and help from a professional.
You should take good care of yourself and the kids. Your husband is the sole provider and you are dependant on him.
There is no way you can leave right now, so hang in there.
It must hurt to know that he is involved with another woman for whatever reason, look after your health, get treatment for your skin condition. Groom yourself, that should at least make you feel better.

Answer 5

First things first...your health conditions....get to a doctor and while you are there have them check for STD. After that, go to the job center in your area (can be done via internet also!) and get a job! Then if you are still feeling like a doormat....get rid of the guy that walks all over you! It really sounds like he isn't giving up his women for whatever reason. You can decide if it's something you can live with. Me, personally, I'd meet him at the door with his walking papers the next time he came home from a date! I'd tell him straight...I am the wife, the only woman you have sex with and if you can't handle that, get out and don't let the door hit you in the.....Sometimes guys walk all over you because you let them.

Answer 6

If he put your health in jeapordy he isn't worth the fight. I would start looking for a job and put my foot down. You want to talk about an affair and he warns you not to or he will leave??? Seems like he is a bit controlling.....and he knows he has you under his thumb. Unless you always want to be cheated on take some action. Get a job and start finding ways to pay your own bills show him you don't need him that much..maybe he will straighten out.

Answer 7

He reasoned with you on why he cheats? Come on...Cheating is cheating and there is no excuse for it. Now your stressing him out about it? He sounds very self centered and that's just not fair to you. How would he feel if you were cheating? I understand the difficulties you are having with this situation. It's so easy for people to just say "move on". I think that chances are you are probably going to have to or put up with his cheating behavior. He doesn't even sound ashamed about it, kinda like it's his god given right. I would do my best to come up with some way to support yourself and leave, unless you feel like you can honestly continue in your marriage with an unfaithful husband. I would start collecting evidence, even if you are undecided as to what to do. If you decide to leave him, you can take him to the cleaners. In my opinion he deserves it. You also have every right to be stressing him out. He deserves a swift kick in the ***.

Answer 8

"Sole bread winner" that does not give him a right to treat disrespectfully to his wife and his family. He said he does it for money: did he ever try to find a second job (a real job i mean) along with his current one?
I think you should think about to get help. Any family member or any organization working for women. To help you to divorce him and go on your own life with your kids. Because obviously this guy does not deserve you.
But ofcourse you should be careful since he is an angry person.

Answer 9

Cheating is cheating no matter why it's going on. If he's doing this for money he's a prostitute (man whore). Even if he is the "sole bread winner", do you want to live on the money he gets from having sex with another woman? What is this showing your children? I think the two of you should at least attend counseling.

Answer 10

I am not sure what you should do. What I do know is that your husband has NO respect for you or your children. This really makes me angry that you are in this situation. Maybe you could go to a womens shelter with your children and they could help you get on your feet to take care of yourself and them and then your husband could have his mistress all to himself. I am not overlooking the fact that you said he had a hot temper so be careful with your decision.

Answer 11

HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU if he did he never treat you this way just something to think about sex for money= prositute no respect unprotected sex with these "women" S T D S think of example your setting for your daughters as long as man supports you he can treat you this way Besides 15 yrs kids = communitty property you get house, alimony he still has support you, child support he has to support the kids. kick his *** to curb already then go get tested yesterday!