I have just gotten married to my boyfriend of 5 1/2 years. My boyfriend never treated me very well, i have strong suspicions he cheated on me for the first 3 years of our relationship and his family treat me really badly. I dont know why i got married, everything went wrong, im not happy and not attracted to my husband.
The big problem, there is a man at work i cant speak to who i am really drawn to. I have a big really good feeling about this guy and cant stop thinking about him.
Im not attracted to my husband anymore and im not sure what to do...I dont know whether this is teething probs, a phase or a sign of things to come.
Anyone out there had anything similar? I could use some advice re get out or stay?
2007-08-16 23:34:28 · 10 answers · asked by Feeling Guilty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wait one minute you can't talk to this guy at work but yet you are using him as an excuse to get away from your husband who is the same man who treated you bad and who you think cheated on you the first 3 years you were together. I don't know how old you are but I'm guessing early 20's if so it's not the end of the world even if you think it is.I myself was in the very some situation you are in now and i felt no way out I was only 18 at the time. I did finally married the guy I was attracted to when I was married to someone else. You make your situation to complicated when it really isn't if your not happy with your marriage just leave it's that easy just do it. I can tell you that only because what i went through. I did made it much harder then it had to be. After i got up enough nerve to leave my husband I felt like the whole world opened up for me I was free I had piece of mind. Don't think about it just leave him.
2007-08-17 01:01:24 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have gotten married to a guy who you knew for 5 years but within a year you don't want him for a guy you have a "good feeling" about.
Lady you are living in some kind of dream world.
Get you head back into reality and your problem may go away.
Do you realize that this other guy might not a have any interest in you?
From this question you seem to be running your life based upon fantacy assumptions like thinking husband cheated but don't know or thinking you can move in on this other guy.
I don't know about your marriage but I do know that you are lost in some dream world of your own making.
Your problems exist in your own head.
2007-08-17 07:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually people who live together for a long period of time outside of marriage only marry for certain reasons
1. they ran out of things to talk about
2. their sex life died and they (usually the woman) think a wedding will revive the romance and sexual hunger
3. for their kids to be legal
4. to shut family members up who think living together while not married is a sin
now down to reality
you married him but didnt want to marry?
his family hate you so of course this could give you permission to either cheat or just leave ?
because your considering leaving / cheating on him your guilt is giving you just cause to accuse wether he is guilty or not of cheating on you?
do you have kids to your husband?
can you remember what drew you to your husband in the 1st place?
has your husband ever treated you badly?
I think you know your answer your misserable and you want out so do it but dont try to accuse an innocent man of cheating if you have NO solid proof or any kind of evidence at all that he has ever thats just wrong and immature and a misplacement of blame .....
your husband deserves better do the right thing for him
and that "big really good thing " you think your feeling is just nothing at all dont drag him into your problems you need to be alone for a while and re-discover who you are without a man focus on your own emotions , take up a hobby , an arts class , or dancing , or something this man probably has a wife , kids , a life dont throw your future away on nothing .....
2007-08-17 06:53:36 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something you need to decide on, seems like you wanting to say leave your husband and go for the other and you will probally get to hear what you want to hear on here.If you didnt love your husband and he treated you badly before you married him what made you so sure it would changem,Im not saying to stay in a abusive relationship if thats the problem but you seem to just want something else.
2007-08-17 06:43:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why in the world did you get maried with feelings like this its going to cost you more to get a divorce go on get out before you have kids and makes things alot worse and for goodness dont jump into another relationship so fast so take it slow with the next guy.
2007-08-21 01:44:06 · answer #5 · answered by twinkle2twinkle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. But can advise you not to lose heart first. Next try to be yourself. You will commit a bigger mistake by 'keeping' that guy. Stay for the time being and give considerable time to your husband to mend things.
2007-08-17 06:43:46 · answer #6 · answered by sv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is so obvious what's going to wind up happening. You married this jerk way to young and for all the wrong reasons. You cannot get married to some punk who has never treated you well and cheating!
You know that eventually you're going to have to file for divorce, so just save some more time in your life and FILE. That is not a marriage, it's a mistake!
2007-08-17 06:46:57 · answer #7 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
hey! what's wrong with you? didn't you consider enough (5 1/2 yrs) before you got married. anyway if you are not attracted to your husband right now, than you are not in love with each other anymore. you should get out of this marriage before both of you gets really 'hurt' and please settle your 'married life' first before you think of other man!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-08-17 06:43:36 · answer #8 · answered by bec 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get free before kids become an issue. Don't wait for "Mr. Next", go now
2007-08-17 06:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by duanehofner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get divorced, I have been in the same situation.Good luck.
2007-08-17 06:44:25 · answer #10 · answered by darrellbrdly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋