She dumped me and she has our child. that is a lot-but hate is a horrible thing to say. I can't stand her family and friends. she is a horrible role model. The list goes on and on. I need to forget about it and accept some things. **I JUST HATE HER WITH ALL MY HEART!
2007-08-16 21:54:07 · 23 answers · asked by COLINDHANSON 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know it hurts... but do you really want to give her [or anyone] that much power over you?!
Hatred only consumes your time and energy and will possibly give her excuses to later justify why she dumped you.
Prove her wrong!!! Give her good reasons to regret the choices she made. Focus all that energy and time on being the best person [and father] YOU can be.
If you fill all your heart with love FOR YOUR CHILD... there will not be any room left to hate your ex!
Improving yourself is by far more beneficial to you and your child than hating her:)
Best wishes
2007-08-23 18:02:25 · answer #1 · answered by Sorry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your visitation and try your damndest not to transfer those feelings to your child. Get out and do some things for you. Now that you're free of the frustration, let go, don't let the anger put you in a choke hold and paralyze the rest of your life. Move on and make yourself happy so that you can pass the happiness on to the most important person, your beautiful daughter. If you can find your purpose and begin to heal you will grow in ways you never imagined. Take it from someone who identifies with the feeling, move on.
Now you can either be happy or you can be miserable, you choose. Everyday you choose.
While you hold comtempt inside you give the focus of that contempt a degree of control over your life. You'll be the only one suffering in the long run.
2007-08-24 15:12:46 · answer #2 · answered by isras 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called "grief" Loss through divorce I believe bares more grief, then losing one's mate by natural cause. It is a dieing to
what was, and worse if it is through betrayal, infidelity, It be-
comes ugly, You have to go through the process of feelings,
and that takes time. Who does your hate hurt? You won't forget it, you will learn to live with it. Hate absorbs energy, your energy, The best revenge is sucess. Don't know if you have any faith, Ask God to forgive her until you can, There is nothing wrong with getting some professional help, If not
there are some good books out there.
Time will heal your wounds, the scars will remain, Focas on
the love you have for your child, Do the best you can for your child. Good luck Blessings
2007-08-24 08:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by jenny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand - the woman you fell in love with not only decided that she didn't want to be with you anymore but took your child with her. That hurts. The problem is if you focus all your energy on hating her, that will be the only thing that you remember and that your child remembers. For your own sake and the sake of your child, even if you hate your ex, you must try to be there and be a positive force in your child's life. Try to remember that yuu fell in love with your ex so there must be some good things about her. If you can't think of anything about her that you like right now, just be glad you aren't with her anymore. You feel only hate and anger with her now becuase of the way things have worked out. Be the better person and don't take out your anger on your ex-wife. Focus your energy on building a better life for you and your child.
2007-08-22 02:55:23 · answer #4 · answered by aja5505 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're wasting a lot of valuable time and energy fixating on your ex. The hate will color your entire life and will affect your relationship with your child. I hope you're paying the child support and maintaining contact with your child. Yes, you'll have to remain in contact with her in order to see your child, but if you can suppress your feelings this will work. Remember, your child had nothing to do with your wife dumping you.
Time has a way of lessening the extreme feelings we have, so be patient and focus on something else. Eventually you'll get a "so what?" attitude about your ex. If you don't nurture the hate you'll be able to leave it behind. I guess I'm saying that you should "rise above it." If you find yourself unable to do so, perhaps some counselling would be in order.
2007-08-16 22:07:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You hate her because you are finished with her and her family interfering with your relationship. If she is a bad role model, how did she get full custody of your child? If you want to you can take her back to court as long as you can prove that she is doing the wrong things for your child. You will need a Friend of the Court to help you, perhaps you can find a way to get at least partial control of how your child is raised and in what environment the child is living.
2007-08-21 06:42:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You hate her because you put her in a position to hurt you and she did! There are so many people out there affraid to love someone because they are affraid that they are going to get hurt. You trusted her. And remember you didn't always hate her or you never would have married her (sorry to rub salt in the wounds, I am an exwife and my ex I am sure hates me too).
When you got married your plans for the future were made and then she changed all the rules when she left. Now you are left to figure out your life. Put your efforts into you now. Make plans for you and stop allowing so much wasted energy on hate. It does no good.
2007-08-24 07:04:20 · answer #7 · answered by katbonikowski 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cause you don't have what it takes to be a man a woman could love...when a woman dumps a man 98% of the time it's the mans fault.........then all we hear is how bad that woman was or is and how much you hate her.........
when it's really you that you hate.....
when a human's heart finds love....it's very hard to hate....
i mean really true love......how can you say you love and then say you hate....you're doing more damage to your child then she is.......think about it man......i'm not trying to be a smart azz by no means....be the dad you suppose to be but you must have connect with the mom to do it.....do you love your child? then do it for him........hope you the best
2007-08-24 19:54:33 · answer #8 · answered by LITTLE_JOHN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There can be no love without hate. You have been deeply hurt and I completely understand your feelings of bitterness and anger. I hope that for the sake of your child that you can be the better person and at least be civil to your ex. Children learn what they live. Love your child more than you hate your ex.
2007-08-24 01:51:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The more you tell your mind not to think about a situation, the more your mind will think about that situation. This is a simple fact of life. What you need to do is accept the fact this has happened, and allow yourself to move on. It is easier said than done but remember, only you can make yourself happy or sad, at peace or hateful.
2007-08-16 22:05:31 · answer #10 · answered by acedelux 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋