am i a bad mom???/?

Question

somedays like today i feel like a horrible mom. I have two sons ages 1 and 3 and i feel like i dont pay enough attention to them they mostly play alone or with each other, i dont know if this is wrong but sometimes it feels wrong. I also yell a whole lot more than i would like to and i always cry and ask my son to forgive me, which makes me feel worse cause i shouldnt have to ask him that. they are very beautiful children and are the whole reason for my exisience but i just find myself exploding at them every day and then i think to myself that they are babies and that i am stupid. I really want to stop the yelling because i dont want them to think of me like that but i have zero patience help me please i cry everyday just thinking of how horrible i am and what my beautiful boys must think of me a am only 21 years old and feel completly overwhelmed sometimes so if you have adivce i need it

Answer 1

Okay lets go one step at a time, Almost all good parents doubt wether they are good parents at one time or another it's perfectly natural.Next step is (nobody is perfect) every parent has good days and bad days. Now, i don't have the details of your situation so it's a little harder to break it down, I mean, what is your work schedule,is the father playing his part to the fullest, do you have additional help (parents,sister,neighbor,) anyway if this doesn't help feel free to E-mail me. Before you talk to your kids take a deep breath in through nose out through mouth, if you watch TV at any point in your day STOP. Turn the TV off and play with the kids for an hour, get down on the floor or whatever they wanna do,just kinda get silly and become a kid again for an hour then you can watch TV if you want or whatever you wanna do. Next is to spend a little quiet time with them before bed time. Now this next one is extremely important, take a break, give yourself some quality time and some T.L.C. a hot bath or a massage or pedicure, you know,something special. If the father is playing his part then sit down with him when the kids are asleep and ask him nicely to help a little more. One more thing for now, EVERY DAY when you wake up look in the mirror and tell that girl YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER AND I LOVE YOU, TODAY WILL BE A GOOD DAY. (SMILE). Like i said feel free to get in touch.

Answer 2

You could be going through post-partum depression. My cousin just has a baby and all she did was cry all the time and didn't feel like being around her baby. She talked to her doctor and he gave her depression pills. She feels and sounds a whole lot better. Don't take my word for it because I'm no expert. Talk to your doctor. He will tell you if you need pills, counseling, or both. I hope everything works out for you.
You probably just need a break. One kid is hard by itself....but TWO! Don't be so down on yourself. At least you realize that there is a problem that you to address. Some people just don't care. You are a good mother for that reason alone.

Answer 3

Hi there...dont worry...all Mom's go through a cranky stage...especially with kids under 5, it is very hard work...but it will get better as they grow! Have you anyone to give you a little break a couple of afternoons a week? You probably need to spend a bit of time on your own for once...everyone does! They sound like good happy kids and they will know that you love them...if you dont have anyone to help you, then be a bit nicer to yourself...dont worry, all Moms think that they shout too much...it'd be an angel not a Mom who did not loose it now and then....Good luck

Answer 4

You should really get some counseling. You should be a role model for you kids!! take what little strength you have and pull yourself together atleast when you are around your kids.

sit down and just watch them, you'll soon find yourself involved in what ever they are doing. By asking them to "forgive" you, you are making them feel unsure and insecure, and they are already so young! Have them go over to some other kids house to play for a afternoon, so you can have some alone time. good luck!

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Answer 5

This sounds like depression sweetie. Its liek I knew what I was doing was wrong yelling over stupid things and crying all the time i finally said enough was enough i called my dr made a appointment she prescribed me a anti epressent i didnt tell me husband about the pills but after 2 weeks of taking them he said to me i have changed and im smiling more so i know they have worked! good luck you have 2 preciouse angels who will only be young for just a lil while!

Answer 6

I don't know why that first answer got so many thumbs down. You really should see a doctor. You sound fatigued and overwhelmed, and there might be a medical reason for it, In any event you could do with some counseling, someone to blow off steam to who gets paid to listen, not your innocent little tykes.

Answer 7

your a great mom the fact that your asking this question shows you are, my advice for you is to take alot of time off to relax you need to like have a shopping date with some girlfriends, get a baby sitter, and as for bad feelings... traditionally called the guilt that keeps on giving... dont worry about it, dont let your short comings keep you down, no one is a perfect parent, besides your only 21 relax your a newbie

Answer 8

Breath...

Get a sitter (g-ma - sister) to have a bit of time to yourself once a week....

Have your husband kick in another day and just take a bath....

Talk to your doctor about the depression. I don't know if I would quite word it the way you did...Just tell him you are feeling overwhelmed...

Good-Luck!! Two babies are hard work ! You will make it. Just make sometime for your self!!

Answer 9

don't beat yourself up, you're a young mother and it's hard sometimes. my advice is to be more patient with your kids because how you interact with them now will affect their lives later. try not to yell, and maybe try getting some time to spend by yourself more. it sounds like you are probably around them all the time, and you need time to yourself. hope this helps some.

Answer 10

Weird when my mom was 21 I was 6 and my brother was a baby. And u have the perfect ages (sarcasm) lol but u just need to relax take deep breaths. And maybe try a nanny or talk to ur mom for advice. IDK