Dont want to live, but dont want to die either?

Question

Has anyone ever fealt like this? my worst fear seems like it is slowly coming true & it is destroying my life. it would probably seem petty to most people but i cant help it, it is a fear that i was practically raised to believe & i really struggle with it. please help, me i am very alone and i have not had a gf in years & im 29.

Answer 1

go visit a cancer treatment center on Monday.visit the burn unit on Tuesday.visit the ghetto on wed....visit the school for the deaf and blind on Thursday.visit the cemetery on Friday......i dont mean to sound cruel but for a person that struggles i can show you ones that will struggle the rest of their life with little quality days left.......on sat. and sun. enjoy life to the fullest......

Answer 2

Well it is good that you don't want to just end it all. At least you see that as something which is in no way an option. Trust me, that is very good.

As for your problem. It could be many things. You may be depressed (which seems quite likely) in which case i recommend talking to a doctor. Anti-depressants can really do wonders and have helped millions of people. I know people who have taken them and things really turned around.

You could also be confused with life. Not many people have their **** together at 29. You may think that the teenage years is the confusing time but it actually lasts way longer than that. If this is the case, i say really reflect on what you want out of life. What are your goals, what are your hopes, what do you really desire? Does your job suck, do you hate where you live, do you hate your friends, etc?

The fact that you said you haven't had a girl friend in many years is a clear clue to what you do want. It isn't fun being single for a long time. I've been single for 10 months and it has felt like forever, so i know what you are going through. Go out there and find someone who you connect with. Being proactive is the name of the game and also realizing that things don't happen the way they do in the movies is always something to keep in mind.

With very little to go on here, i would say you are either depressed or confused (maybe both), either way, some deep reflection is a good start to sorting out all of the problems.

Remember, although you have indicated this isn't something you want to do, just keep in mind, suicide is NEVER the answer. Never give up that fight. Good luck buddy.

Answer 3

I would recommend listening to ALOT "Men are from Mars, woman are from Venus". It will give you experiance from the years you've been missing on dating. Read some dating books in the bookstore also. Itunes has this.

General rules about dating:

Move slow. Make sure the woman hasn't done the entire block.

Never call the next day.

Wait atleast 3 days after you gotten digits

Only call back the next day if you had sex and that shouldn't happen for atleast 2-3 months.

Make yourself busy. I can't do anything this week something has come up.

Always get her number never give yours first.

Say something nice about her. "Your hair looks very pretty"

Look directly in their eyes without looking away and smile.

Be positive.

Know that because of your inactive lifestyle that you will fail. Don't take this as bad but make notes about every woman you date and what happened on the date. So you can find your mistakes and not do them again.

Ask caring questions.

Try and make the first date with a cup of coffee or a drink at the bar. More so the cup of coffee. Open up a tiny bit like tell her how you got a scar on your arm. " I feel off my bike when I was little and a dog bit me." Don't say you have anxiety.

Be confident. You got nothing to lose.

MOST IMPORTANT! LISTEN!

Answer 4

I know the feeling, it is the feeling of being worthless. Like you have disappointed yourself and people around you. First of all, you should take a few deep breaths, go drink a glass of water and put some music that you like and reflect upon your success till now. Think about all the good things that you have achieved and not what you haven't. Then think about why you feel like this, what is the cause of this feeling that seemingly eats away at your heart. There is always a cause and effect.
Once you have assessed the situation, think about a way to change this, ask for advice, or read a book about your problem, go to a councilor, talk to a friend or a relative, go out on a drive or a walk. And you will feel better, then focus on solving the problem.

Answer 5

If you are feeling so depressed you are seriously considering suicide, please go to the nearest ER. Also, you can call the suicide hotline at (800-273-8255). They are available 24/7 and really want to talk to you. Many of the volunteers at the suicide hotline have been in the same place emotionally as you are right now.

I used to feel the same way. I was afraid to live and afraid to die. I was 28 years old. There was no environment cause for my feelings. I have a wonderful family and great friends. However, I wasn't in a romantic relationship and I thought time was running out! At the time, I had a great job and was moving up the ladder much more quickly than I expected.

However, I knew depression ran in my family. My maternal grandmother had committed suicide when my Mom was 14 years old. I couldn't imagine a Mother leaving her three daughters.

The initial reason I chose to live was because I didn't want to cause pain for my family and friends. Also, I didn't want my family and friends to feel they had failed me because they were trying to help with my depression.

The first step I took was to read a simple book on depression. The book convinced me I was truly depressed. I wasn't just feeling sorry for myself. I wasn't weak because I had these negative feelings.

I then made an appointment with a psychiatrist. I didn't choose to see a psychologist right off because I wanted to see a medical doctor who could prescribe medication. (Eventually, I did start seeing a psychologist in addition to my psychiatrist.)

The doctor put me on an anti-depressant. It took about 2-3 weeks before I saw significant improvement. With the medication and talk therapy, I came through my depression.

Now, I do a couple things to saw positive. I exercise regularly, eat healthy (not junk comfort foods) and I try and get out in the sunlight everyday.

Good luck. Take care of yourself.

Answer 6

I'm in the same boat at 31. Alot of the guys i know 2. This everybodys got somebody nonsense is more tv then real. We'll find women just takes time and being alone is better the being in a really ****** up relitionship especially with kids u don't want can't raise. Eventually u meet the right person and click worth waiting for. Feel better friend

Answer 7

Hi John,
I would be careful not to create the opportunity to fulfill your own negative predictions. We are all in this same human dilema. What we must do is to find value and worth in the beauty around us. When we look for others, or other things to give us value then we will ultimately be disillusioned. Happiness will have to come from inside of you, and I also believe that happiness is found with a relationship or discovery of God. Outside of God, live is meaningless or you are left to find meaning within yourself and nothing else.

I am so sorry you are feeling alone. I've been there, too. There were times where I could be in a crowd of hundred but felt like no one noticed that I existed. I eventually decided and found out that my relationship with God had to be reconciled. Secondly, I had to find safe relationships with people I could trust. Those people were not found inside a bar, a night club, or any other place where too many masks were worn. I had to find a place where people were real and who could accept me for who I am. This can be tough to do, but it can be done.

I recommend that you do go see a counselor and talk about some of your feelings. At the same time, you MUST take care of yourself by eating right, getting adequate sleep, and by exercising. Doing these things will take care of your body and mind. This is important.

I wish you well my friend. You are not alone. I hope you are comforted knowing that many of us have felt like you do at various times of our lives. I wish you had a girlfriend and someone you could share your life with. I believe that time will come. But, remember to take care of yourself so that your girlfriend and wife doesn't become a substitute for your happiness. Take care of yourself first, see a counselor, and work on what you need to do. Organize yourself, set some tasks and goals, and be kind to yourself. You are a person of value.

Answer 8

What !? You don't wanna die 'coz you wanna live and then you don't wanna live and dunno whether you wanna die !?

Go find yourself a nice pussy but don't land yourself with H.I.V. see? Ok, forget about looking out for nice pussy. You know what your problem is...?, you are craving for attention from some nice broad, girls !, got it. So why you waiting for ? Move your ***, see ? Do you need people to teach you that !? Yeah, maybe some, ok, fair enough but never ever give up. Remember she might just be at the conner somewhere...and one more thing, don't get involve with drug taking b'coz you think you can't stand being depress all by yourself.....and if you do, the expression of your question is just that for those who got themselves hooked on drugs..helplessly tormented forever... a walking dead, see?

Answer 9

We all feel like that from time to time.. And just to let you know 29 is still very young. You have your whole life ahead of you still.. Sure you're looking for love now, but maybe you just need to sit back, evaluate your life, and let love find you. Don't panic. And theres no reason to want to die over not having a girlfriend. I mean its normal to be upset, but you just need to realx.

Answer 10

I know how it feels to want to die because i don't want to feel pain anymore. Just remember that you don't want to die, you just don't want to hurt anymore. The human condition is to be lonely because we are all so different. We tend to feel like no one understands because, well quite frankly no one really does completely understand, they are not you, have not had your life experiences, and see the world through their own completely different eyes. I have a friend who does the same thing to himself, he get's very down on himself for not having a girlfriend. I truly have to say that the more you desperately seek a partener, the less likely it is that you will find one, let alone a good one. When you love yourself, for who you are, and accept that you can handle life on your own, just as you are, that's when new options and girls will flow your way. Just ask yourself, how much are you really doing for yourself that is healthy for your mind body and soul, and are you desperately focusing on finding a girl as a way to avoid your own self development, because if your not ok being alone...You'lle not be ok in a relationship you have to be self sustained in order to have a healthy relationship. My advise to you is to let go of your need to be in a relationship, decide for your self based on your own perspective if it is so neccesary to be in a relationship, not because your family thinks you should be, but because you think you should be, and if you do think you should be and must be in a relationship, ask yourself why is that? No one has to be in a relationship but every one does have to have self confidence self love and be self sustained in order to be in a healthy relationship. Girls will come, when you love yourself, and allow yourself the chance to meet the right girl based on the right circumstances. Don't rush, and don't obsess.