why does the west ( Americans/Europeans) don't take care of their elders and leave them in retirement homes?

Question

Why they cannot keep them at home and take care of them. Afterall they took care of you when you were weak and young? One day you will get old. They must be lonely and sad in the retirement homes. How do u expect an unknown person to take care of them when u you have refused? Please advice.

Answer 1

I don't know about Europeans, but not all Americans leave their parents in nursing homes. But I will tell you honestly, that I have noticed this trend among the wealthy (I grew up in an upper middle class neighborhood). I imagine it is because they don't feel they have the time to care for the aging parent(s), and instead of just hiring a nurse in the home, they choose to put then in a nursing home (or retirement home as it is called now) so that they can have around the clock care and other people to keep them company. Most retirement homes today are set up like spas or vacation retreats, where they have group activities, games, movie time, knitting, aerobic activities, etc. It provides the elder with companionship and things to keep them occupied. I think some people feel that this is a better quality of life than sitting at home alone with a nurse. But then again there are some people who never had a good relationship with their parents and don't care about their well being. I've seen in a few of these cases where the parent may also have assets that would be left to the child.

Once when I lived in an apartment I met an elderly neighbor by chance. My son dropped a toy onto her balcony below and I went down stairs to get her permission to get it. When I knocked on the door she called out for me to enter. When I came in she was lying on the floor where she had fallen and couldn't get up. She had wet herself and had been laying there she said for an hour or so. I helped her up and helped her change her undergarment and sat with her for a while and talked. She told me that her daughter put her up in that apartment alone and came by once a week to check on her; she told me that she was her only child and that they never got along, the daughter wasn't very nice to her. I wrote my number on a notepad and told her to call me when she needed anything. I checked on her every day and picked her up items when I went shopping. Well one day I stopped by and her daughter was there. She was furious that I was helping her mother, she told me to leave her alone and never contact her again or she would call the police on me, no "thank you for helping my mom." or anything. The elderly lady sat with her head down and refused to look at me; it was apparent to me that she was afraid of her daughter. I felt bad but I chose not to interfere because I was confused/afraid, I now regret that decision but at the time I was only 19 and didn't know better. A few months later I saw an ambulance going to her apartment and after that she never returned, I don't know if she passed or what. But I will never forget how a child could be so cruel to an elderly parent. To this day it makes me tear up.

Answer 2

Well I am a "Westerner" (how people come up with a term west or east on a spherical planet, I'll never know), and I had this conversation with my 80 yr old grandmother the other day. I told her that I would be more than happy to take her in if she ever needed that care. She flat out told me she would prefer a nursing home! She has the kind of $$ where she can take her pick, and I guess she would prefer not to be around children on a daily basis at her age. For many the elderly don't have children who are able to care for them, and many don't WANT to live with their children believe it or not. Personally, I would ALWAYS let a relative live with me who needed assistance. Most people would! Most people don't want to depend on their relatives, maybe out of pride or such.

Answer 3

there will be a month-to-month condo value while you're speaking approximately an assisted residing living house. they could guard persons as much as a definite point. it relatively is as much as the proprietors to set that time or as much as the state regulations. If the guy gets ill and desires extra care then the living house provides and the proprietors are prepared to maintain the resident, they could call in nurses for visits or regardless of the resident will want alongside with Hospice information. As for scientific visits and wellness facility visits, no, which would be paid by employing the citizens coverage. Now, while you're speaking some nursing living house, back, wellness facility and wellness care expert visits would be coated by employing coverage. you are able to look up nursing living house in Google and assisted residing properties and check out the variations.

Answer 4

I think the reason Americans rely on retirement homes to care for their elderly parents is because there is no one at home to take care of the elderly. All of their children are working full-time at jobs and they can't allow their parents to be home alone. That would be neglect. At least the retirement homes provide regular meals, assistance with medications and social activities for those who are able to participate. After our elders reach a certain stage in life it takes a strong back and a stronger stomach to care for them physically and keep them clean.

I've told my children that when I can't take care of myself anymore I want them to pick out a nice retirement home for me and come to visit often. I don't want my kids bathing me and wiping my bottom.

Answer 5

Not everyone here is like that.

My Grandmother (my Mom's Mom) came down with Alzheimer's disease. We kept her at home and took good care of her for many years. We bought a hospital bed, she had to have diapers because of incontinence, we changed them and always kept her clean. I would take care of her, too, when I was a teenager. She was like a little baby, no control over her body. But when she forgot how to swallow her food, she needed to have a feeding tube put into her stomach surgically. Then we had no choice but to put her in a home, but it was a good one with round the clock care. And we went to see her absolutely every day. But by the time we put her in the home, the Alzheimer's was so advanced that she didn't have much time left anyway. She died a year later.

But you are right. There are alot of people here who don't care about their elders enough to take care of them. Many people would rather put their older loved ones in a home at the first sign that they might have a hip problem or a knee problem or a slight mind problem, than to take care of them at home. It is too much of an inconvenience for them, or something. It makes you both sad and angry to see it, but what can you do?

Dolly Parton said in a movie once: "I find it strange that one Mama can take care of 6 kids, but 6 kids can't take care of 1 Mama." (I'm sure that would go for Papas, too.)

Answer 6

I think it is really sad, but most people don't want the "burden" of taking care of their parents and perhaps that is selfish. My family takes care of my grandmother, but we are lucky because my grandfather left her with a good deal of money and my spinster uncle takes care of her full time. I think money also has a lot to do with it, but retirement homes are expensive as well. I will take care of my mother when she is ill. I told her I would build a little apartment for her or get her a nurse in her home.

Answer 7

I think it's sadder to see parents not taking care of their kids. It is no surprise that many elderly are not cared about by their neglected kids. Adults choose to have kids and have a moral obligation to care for them. Most children that are raised with a loving and supportive family have a sense of belonging and family commitment or connection. You cant brake the chain of a strong family unit and expect kids to feel obligated to provide for their parents when they are in need.

Answer 8

Some do, some don't. Often the carers are in their sixties and seventies and just cannot cope with the degree of physical effort necessary. A doubly incontinent patient can produce a prodigious amount of work. Carers can be ill themselves. It is not uncommon for some Alzheimers to become violent and attack their carer. All this tends to focus future care into the hands of those who can cope with it.

Answer 9

Sometimes people dont have the equipment or medical knowledge to care for their elderly relative properly. People also work so if their elderly relative/parent/spouse needs constant monitoring then they will not be doing whats best for them by leaving them alone all day. Its not like taking care of a baby..... elderly are often sick and need alot of medical care. Sometimes people feel overwhelmed and dont think they can care for their elderly person better than a trained facility could. Do not be so quick to judge or make assumptions.

Answer 10

So, You decided only Americans/Europeans don't take care of their elders. Read just the simplest thing on national geographic and you will find most non European groups send their elderly out to the bush to die rather than taking care of them. I will have to assume, Even though I don't like to assume, That you got this kind of information from a anti white website. Not based in fact but if they print it it has to be true, Right? LMFAO.
I really am surrounded by idiots ain't I?