What is the best way to get over a friends suicide when it was an ex boyfriend?

Question

my ex killed himself 3 days ago now. we broke up when we were both in yr 7 and we stayed best friends ever since we broke up it was a thing we both agreed on. but now i blame myself for his death because i started going out with my current boyfriend close to 2 years ago my ex liked him alot and they both got on really well My ex messaged me 5 days ago telling me that he still liked me and that he wanted me back but i had to say no because i am still with my current bf is it my fault that he killed himself. He was the best friend i ever had how do i get ober his death.

I was really close with him but i also found out that he was having huge family problems and he lost his job

I new had depression i went with him to the doctors and the hospital everytime he tried to harm himself i was there when he had counsilling and stiches and everything he tried talking to me after he messgaed me telling me that he wanted me back but i was out to dinner and it was to late to call him back but i emailed him because he lived on the net and i didnt get a response so i tried calling and it went to voicemail and then a day later i got the call so ishould have done something to prevent it from happing i should have spoke to him while i was out to dinner and maybe he would still be here now

I spoke to his mum yesterday and she said that he left a letter reveling that he was so ashamed of being single and that he was a failure and he left a letter to me his mum read it out and it said " when your reading this i will be up above im so sorry for hurting you and for anything bad that has happened in the past i had to do what i have done because its the only way to stop the pain i will always love you now and forever please take care of yourself and dont let this happen to you please you are a caring and sweet person and i will always remember you i love you"

Should go interstate for the funeral and how do i tell his family that it was my fault he killed himself have i portrayed them

Answer 1

oh honey....i can't even imagine. that's so terrible sweetie. but you know that. i am so sorry you had to go through that. i'm not sure there is a way to get through that on your own. talk to people about it. confide in your boyfriend, your other good friends, your parents. do you want to see a counselour? they might help. i know we don't know each other but honestly, if you ever need to talk you can email me, or message me on this thing okay? i may not get it right away but i promise that i'll get back to you as soon as i can. sweetie, you didn't solely cause your ex's death. there must have been other things in his life that added to his depression and caused him to make the decision he made. don't put all the blame on yourself, okay? i hope you get all the help and support you need during this really tough time. would it be okay if i prayed for you?

Answer 2

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Answer 3

do not blame yourself for his death. you did your best at being his best friend. you gave your all. remember giving your all does not necessarily mean giving up everything you live for to please a person. if that was the case then you should have gone back with him and he may still be alive but in the long run would you be happy. you have been with him for seven years. the relationship was over, you met another guy. good.
moving on is hard for some people especially when they're in love but to take the blame for someone elses death is too much burden on your shoulder. if you choose to carry this burden you will only be jeprodising your new relationship and your happiness
trust me you were not capable enough to stop your friend from killing himself. to do so it meant that you had to be around him 24/7 even when he is taking a sh*t.
your friend was depressed and he probably wasn't as forthwith about it, that is not your fault. once you were open and honest with him leave everything else to the man above he alone can heal the pain you feel. cry it out bcoz i know you loved and cherished your friend. pray for his soul and keep your sanity, life goes on and everything happens for a reason.

Answer 4

Let your grieving take its course. Do not feel guilty you did not do anything wrong. Get some counseling or talk to some and tell them how you feel. I am so sorry for your loss. Some people just can not deal with life's situations and they feel all alone in the world then they just think if I kill myself I have no more problems to deal with. He is the one to blame for killing himself. No its not your fault he killed himself!! Again I am really sorry for your loss. My dad's real close friend committed suicide in 1995 it was really hard to go through that. Time will heal your heart. It might take a long time. No there was nothing you could do. To help him he eventually would killed himself later on in his life. Quit blaming yourself girl.

Answer 5

Well the first thing is your suffering with survivors guilt. Its not a weaknes to go and seek some counseling at this point in time. No one person can affect the actions of others. Good luck and keep your head up.

Answer 6

my best friend killed herself......i still cry when ever i think of it... i felt some what responsible because i didnt notice any of the signs...3 of my other best friends attempted to kill themself and it still really bothers me....After my friends death i took up Irish dancing as a distraction and i fell in love with it....im not saying do dance but find a distraction.... Jus remember it wasnt ur fault...u didnt hand him the tools to kill himself with... you couldnt have done more then you did for him and im sure he was extremly grateful for all the things u did

Answer 7

Please do a little exercise for me....

Go to a mirror, look your reflection right in the eye, and repeat these words with conviction...repeat them at least 5 times a day. Repeat the exercise twice a day for at least a month.

"It's Not My Fault."

Say them like you mean them, because this is the truth. Your friends death was not your fault. You had no control over the situation. He chose to end his life, and it had nothing to do with you. It is not your fault, period.

GL

Answer 8

Don't blame yourself!! he is the one that ultimately took his own life... I'm sorry for your loss!! and unfortunately when a close friend dies there really is no quick way to get over them... only time will heal such a great wound..

Answer 9

oh sweetie do something i couldnt and tell your self it wasnt your fault. just reading your question put tears in my eyes. my grandpa killed himself years ago and i still cry myself to sleep because i think its all me fault. just let him go and dont beat yourself up over this. you werent the reason tell yourself that. you werent the reason. he made his decision you didnt make it for him. please keep me up to date on how your feeling everyday. i think it will help you and me both.
my adress is [e-mail].
im not going to judge you on anything you are feeling i promise you. im still getting over a suside so i dont know how much this message will help but haveing someone you dont really know to talk to might help because i dont have a standard on your personallity and i cant judge you on anyting

Answer 10

You guys had broken up a while ago. He considered you a good friend. Like you said he had other troubles. Don't blame yourself you didn't know he was suicidal.