ok i wrote this poem tell me if u like it
I'm sick of crying
tired of trying
ya i'm smiling
but inside i'm
DYING
2007-08-16 17:20:08 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I don't like the spacing I feel that it's a little uneccary. But if you feel that this is I would like to know why. Does it represnt you being open but that goes against what the poem is saying. So I'm confused by the layout of the poem. But I like how it shifts to the left.
It's o.k. overall though minus the lower case i. Is it like that on purpose because you feel that you are not important enough to captilize yourself you don't want to stick out.
2007-08-17 02:05:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anthony M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are feelings you have. Nobody can take these feelings away from you and somebody should hear them and feel them with you. Feelings aren't right or wrong. They just ARE. This isn't the kind of "poem" where people would say, Yeah, I like that. It's more the kind of expression where somebody would say, crap, I've felt that way too. And I have. And I'm sorry that when you wrote this you were feeling it too.
I hope tomorrow is brighter.
Margot
2007-08-20 23:52:17 · answer #2 · answered by margot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it gets ur point through but if u were looking for a critique on how well it was written i would say u need to expand ur vocabulary a bit more and make it sort of into a puzzle that ppl will get....the art of poetry.. haha....but i like ur poem now...but it sounds more like a song poem then a writing poem...if u get wat i mean....like ur poem belongs in a song rather then a book...which isnt a bad thing at all =)
2007-08-17 01:20:16 · answer #3 · answered by hiphopanonyms 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it expresses a lot of feelings for a small poem i like it
2007-08-17 05:05:26 · answer #4 · answered by forevagreek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a bit boring. I mean you must indicate more in your poem. I think this doesn't convey of anything.
2007-08-17 12:45:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you kidding me i think it says A LOT. I don't like to judge the quality of poerty because it's so subjective. I do hope that those feelings get better for you--remember you're not the first to feel them!
2007-08-17 00:34:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh it's wonderful, its express feelings, I like it.
2007-08-18 05:38:02 · answer #7 · answered by james a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
short and to the point
2007-08-17 08:48:53 · answer #8 · answered by Analyst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I like it!!! Is it based on your life or anyone elses though? if it is... I'm sorry!
2007-08-17 00:35:13 · answer #9 · answered by Toy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really like this
i like how
something so simple
can show so much emotion
2007-08-17 04:32:12 · answer #10 · answered by noelle!!!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋